10 Things I Have Learned as a Freelance Writer

The Ten Most Important Things I Have Learned Freelance Writing

• 1The idea that the customer is always right is the single most laughable one to have graced the business world. The customer is often very, very wrong. Worse, the customer is generally convinced that they know what they're doing better than you do. Which is why they've hired you, of course.
• 2Non-disclosure agreements suck. Now I can't tell anyone about the work I did for M*****, D*****, B****** or B*******. All that instant geek cred, and nothing to show for it. I can't even tell you that I once worked for S********.
• 3Most people do not know how to operate word processing software. An alarming number use notepad to write letters and other documents. More alarming still is that for reasons known only to themselves, they expect you to do the same.
• 4'Copy editor' is actually an archaic term for 'petty individual with lower-than-average language skills'.
• 5There is more English-language work out there for non-native speakers than there is for native speakers. Because content only exists to draw search engine traffic, and it doesn't matter whether or not it's readable.
• 6In general, people are horrible and want articles written on the scammiest topics imaginable. On the other hand, they are generally happy to pay through the nose for it. So it's a case of weighing up morality, morbid curiosity, and the ever-present need for cold, hard cash.
• 7Forget everything you know about grammar, spelling, and syntax right now. It's less painful in the long run.
• 8Americans are paralysed by the letters 'u' and 's' appearing in words like colour and customise. The people who want content optimised (with a 'z') for them do not appreciate having the irony of this pointed out to them, nor will they accept the argument that in a person of average intelligence, this would not make the word unreadable.
• 9Most people will try to scam you into writing for a pittance, based on the general feeling that as writing is free, you're making a huge profit on something they could do themselves. Either ignoring or hurling insults at these people is the only reasonable way to deal with them.
• 10It is a necessary part of any copywriting job that you are able to read minds, since the art of writing a clear brief has gone to the same place that the art of being polite to people you are employing.