12 Ways to Be Successful

Money and material things rank high on most people's lists of what defines success,

If you already have large amounts of money, does your wealth serve you? Does it contribute to your personal freedom?

If you are tied to a job or business you hate, are you really successful?

Financial wealth contributes to our security. Plus, the more wealth we have, the more we can share with others. See also "Success Tip 10, Contribute to Others", below.

If you have not earbned enough money yet, then

For more about this, see

Achieving Fabulous Success

Money and the Law of Attraction

See also Changing Scarcity to Abundance with Orin and DaBen.

In order to achieve our financial goals or, in fact, any goals, we need to become integrated.

We all have different parts of ourselves which arise at different times in our lives. We can experience these different parts of ourselves as negative or undermining, but really they are just trying to get different needs met.

If you have ever decided to lose weight, start jogging, take up yoga, quit smoking or break another bad habit, or form another good one, you will have experienced lack of integration. One part of you wants to move forward, but you will become more and more aware of other parts of yourself that resist making progress.

The Shadow is the part of ourselves that we don't like - the part that represents our deepest fears which lurk in our unconscious minds. The Shadow can also represent self-loathing.

The Shadow is the part of ourselves that we often deny, or don't want to look at or deal with. That is one reason why we often keep it unconscious.

In order to really love ourselves and become integrated and whole, we need to own the Shadow.

Meditation is the most effective method of becoming integrated. For more about meditation, see "The Key to Everything" in the Resources section, below.

See also: Transform Your Life with Nonviolent Communication.

Read more about the "jackals" in Transform Your Life with Nonviolent Communication.

Your negative mental and emotional habits and patterns of thought and belief will undermine you and your efforts to achieve success.

Often, these habits and patterns are deeply buried. You need to discover what they are, dig them out and change them.

You deserve to have the very best in life, so take charge. Choose thoughts and beliefs that serve you. Get rid of the ones that don't.

You need to do this in a loving way and be patient with yourself. You did not develop those habits overnight and it will take time and effort to change them. See also "Befriending the Shadow", above.

See also: the free 3-Step Success Formula in the Resources section below.

Choose your companions wisely.

If your friends or associates engage in illegal or dangerous activites, you need to put some distance between yourself and them. This much is obvious.

But you may have contact with people who encourage or support your negative habits, such as settling for second best in your relationships or your career.

If you have people around you who undermine you and your progress towards success, including your family, friends and loved ones, cut those people out of your life. Or at least, take a vacation from those relationships.

But remember, people are your mirrors. They reflect you back. If you have negative people around you, be honest with yourself. Check out your own negative habits and patterns and eliminate them.

Surround yourself with successful people who support and encourage you to achieve your goals.

In order to bring about success in our lives, we first need to feel successful and be successful on the inside. Awareness is the first step to bringing about positive change. Once we are aware of our negative mental habits and patterns, we can begin to change them.

Learn to think like successful people, and apply the lessons to your own life. You can learn both from their success and from their failures,

To read more, see Do You Think Like a Success?

In order to get your loved ones to honour your wishes, you need to honour theirs, Connect with their feelings and needs - the things that matter most to them.

To read more about this, see Transform Your Life with Nonviolent Communication.

What is the most important thing in your life?

Is it your relationships?

Having genuine heart connections with people?

Spending time with those you love?

Fun and excitement?

Having a healthy, fit body?

Creative expression?

Education and learning?

The opportunity to learn and grow spiritually?

Whatever you most value, make sure you structure your life around it, rather than trying to fit it into your life.

This is the most important element of success.

Know that you deserve the very best in life. Until you do, you will fail to reach the highest peaks and will continuie to sabotage your efforts.

If you don't realize that you deserve the very best, you will settle for second-best. You will allow others to undermine you in your relationships and in every area of your life.

Consider the case of Elton John, A brilliantly talented musician, singer and songwriter, his personal life did not match up with his incredible professional success.

He had to learn to value himself and contribute to others. Only then did his life become more balanced. To read more, see What Can We Learn from Elton John?

You may have learned unhelpful and hurtful mental and emotional patterns from your childhood and/or your family life. It's up to you to change these and replace them with more positive, helpful patterns.

Nonviolent Communication is the most effective method of building self-esteem and confidence that I have found. The way we talk to ourselves affects every aspect of our lives. To read more, see: Transform Your Life with Nonviolent Communication.

This relates to Tip No, 8.

There has never been anybody just like you, and there never will be again.

You will never be truly successful if you are seeking others' approval or trying to fit in with other people's expectations.

You have your own, individual perspective on life.

You have unique talents, skills and gifts. The more you appreciate them, the more success you will attract.

Share your unique perspective with others - your local church, charity or community organisation.

You can donate money to a charity to help them achieve their aims,

Spend time helping out a youth group or after-school project.

Mentor peope at your place of work, or in your profession or occupation,

Nothing is more satisfying and rewarding than helping others achieve their goals.

Whatever your religious or spiritual beliefs may be, or even if you don't have any, you can connect with something bigger than yourself.

You are actually much greater than you think you are. Your influence on those around you is much greater than you think it is, And you are capable of achieving amazing things.

There are man people who came before you whose actions benefit you.

Think of the people who built the roads, the schools and the hospitals, and who developed life-saving drugs, surgical techniques and other forms of healing,

Think of all the people involved in installing modern plumbing. where would we be without it? What would our lives be like?

Connecting with something bigger than yourself can help you to put your vision into action,

This is particularly important if you had any kind of negative early influences,

Negative childhood influences are very common, and they can cause a lot of damage.

It's up to you to undo the damage. You may have a habit of being self-critical, noticing every fault you have or every mistake you make,

You need to develop a new habit - notice every positive deed and accomplishment you achieve.

I guarantee you have achieved many successes you are not even aware of, and you are not giving yourself credit for them.