In China, oxen are put on a pedestal but in western society the odd one or two are found in china shops, while the rest find their way into America's favorite food, a beef burger.

"Ox", "Buffalo" or "Brown Earth Cow" are people who were born in the following years: 1901, 1913, 1925, 1937, 1949, 1961, 1973, 1985, and 1997.

Those born under the influence of the "Ox" are said to be stable, persevering, tolerant folks with a strong character.

They seem to enjoy plodding along from day to day without griping or complaining and are seldom associated with flashy, get-rich-quick schemes.

Honest, open-minded, and meticulous when it comes to their responsibilities, "Ox" folk rarely lead you down the garden path or change their minds once they've made a decision...which can make them a tad obstinate according to the other animals in the blessed barnyard of life.

Beneath the placid, easy-going and unpretentious exterior of the "Earth Ox" lies a heart of gold, a modest amount of ambition, and a willingness to bear heavy burdens that might overwhelm others, not to mention a strong sense of loyalty and compassion towards family and friends.

With all this going for them, it's not surprising that they might also have a few niggly, not-so-nice characteristics as well like being a titch stubborn, a teensy-weensy bit too methodical, a little feisty with a fierce sense of competition.

Position in the Zodiac: 2nd

Ruling Hours: 1:00 - 3:00 am

Season/Month: Winter, January

Similar to Western Astrological Signs: "Capricorn" with some features of "Taurus"

Gemstone: Onyx

Colors: Yellow and blue

Polarity: Yin

Element: Water

Positive Traits: Calm, dependable, honest, caring, honourable, intelligent, industrious, modest, patient, practical, responsible

Negative Traits: Petty, inflexible, possessive, dogmatic, gullible, stubborn, critical, intolerant, materialistic

Associated With Following Countries: Countries Switzerland, India, Cuba, Yemen, Finland, Ukraine

Very Compatible with Following Animals: Rat, Snake, Rooster

Incompatibile with Following Animals: Tiger, Horse, Goat, Rabbit, Monkey

In Eastern philosophy, the Ox symbolizes the mastery of human nature and of contemplative learning.

Throughout the Orient, where it was the power that could pull plows and aid in agriculture, it was also a symbol of quiet strength and unassuming kindness.

Since the "Ox" is noted for his ability to work hard without breaking a sweat, not to mention his courage under fire, and his dedication in working towards a goal, they prefer stable occupations in established institutions or investing their talents in building communities/enhancing the health and well-being of others.

-- Archeologist, Academic, Architect, Draftsman, Artist, Interior Designer

-- Carpenter, Engineer, Farmer, Food Processing Specialist,Florist or Horticulturalist, Mechanic

-- Counsellor, General Medical Practitioner, Physiotherapist, Osteopath

-- Army Officer, Banker, Investment Broker, Manager, Real Estate Agent.

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Insert photo credit: Torkum's tribute to the Ox.

Wikipedia indicates that "cattle, colloquially referred to as cows (though technically cow refers only to female bovines), are domesticated ungulates, a member of the subfamily Bovinae of the family Bovidae.

They are raised as livestock for meat (called beef and veal), dairy products (milk), leather and as draft animals (pulling carts, plows and the like). In some countries, such as India, they are honored in religious ceremonies and revered. It is estimated that there are 1.3 billion cattle in the world today."

Oxen are simply cattle, (usually adult, castrated males), frequently trained as draft animals and more often than not referred to as "beasts of burden".

So to make a long story short, here are some simple answers to some very perplexing, politically-charged conundrums involving cows and steers not to mention a whole host of enterprising individuals, corporations, and governments (who more than likely came up with all these cock and bull definitions).

SOCIALISM

You have 2 cows.
You give one to your neighbour (in the community spirit of share and share alike).

COMMUNISM

You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and makes you queue up to get some milk.

FASCISM

You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and sells you some milk.

BUREAUCRATISM

You have 2 cows.
The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then throws the milk away...

TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM

You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
You sell them and retire on the income.

SURREALISM

You have two giraffes (because they don't have a clue what cows look like).
The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION

You have two cows.
You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.
Later, you hire a consultant to analyze why the cow has dropped dead.

ENRON VENTURE CAPITALISM

You have two cows.
You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows.

The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company (secretly owned by the majority shareholder) who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company.

The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more.

You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States, leaving you with nine cows.

No balance sheet is provided with the release.

The public then buys your bull.

THE ANDERSEN MODEL

You have two cows.
You shred them.

A FRENCH CORPORATION

You have two cows.
You go on strike, organize a riot, and block the roads, because you want three cows.

A JAPANESE CORPORATION

You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.
You then create a clever cow cartoon image called 'Cowkimon' and market it worldwide.

A GERMAN CORPORATION

You have two cows.
You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION

You have two cows, but you don't know where they are.
You decide to have lunch and to listen to Verdi.

A RUSSIAN CORPORATION

You have two cows.
You count them and learn that you have five cows.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
You count them again and learn you have 2 cows.
You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.

A SWISS CORPORATION

You have 5000 cows.
None of them belong to you.
You charge the owners for storing them.

A CHINESE CORPORATION

You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them.
You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity.
You detain the newsman who reported the real situation.

AN INDIAN CORPORATION

You have two cows.
You worship them.

A BRITISH CORPORATION

You have two cows.
Both are mad.

AN IRAQI CORPORATION

Everyone thinks you have lots of cows.
You tell them that you have none.
No-one believes you, so they bomb the living daylights out of you and invade your country.
You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of a Democracy....

AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION

You have two cows.
Business seems pretty good.
You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.
You return to find a crazy crocodile has devoured your two cows plus a jolly swagman who happened to be sitting beside a billabong minding his own business.

A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION

You have two cows.
The one on the left looks very attractive.
But if truth be told, it's probably just a wolf in sheep's clothing!

While some revere the ox as a powerful symbol of benevolence and strength, others suggest this beast of burden besides being 'brainless' and 'bullheaded' is also a tad boring.

So here are a few quips from the quote gallery to expand your knowledge of the humble ox.

You're as strong as an ox. There's no bull about you! (Anonymous)

"There comes a time in the affairs of man when he must take the bull by the tail and face the situation." -- W.C. Fields, 20th century American humorist

"I'm as healthy as an ox." -- Julie Gold, American musician

"Yes, they look on their neighbor's ox and ass with covetousness and their own ox and ass with abhorrence," -- from "Possessions are Nine Points of Conversation" by Ogden Nash, 20th century American humorist and poet

"Know the grass isn't always greener on the other side, 'cause I only have horns for you! (Anonymous)

"An ant on the move does more than a dozing ox." -- Lao Tzu, Chinese philosopher

"The ox suffers, the cart complains." -- Victor Hugo, 19th century French author

"I'm glad you're part of my time because you just tell people to moooove over or you'll stomp on them! -- Anonymous

"You shall not muzzle an ox while it is treading out the grain." -- Bible: Hebrew, Deuteronomy 25:4.

The Act of God designation on all insurance policies... means roughly that you cannot be insured for the accidents that are most likely to happen to you. If your ox kicks a hole in your neighbor's Maserati, however, indemnity is instantaneous. -- Alan Coren, "The Lady from Stalingrad Mansions", 1977

Can Mac OX 10.5 Leopard run in my computer? -- DuyNZ in a thread from a PCWorld online forum.

The sight of Ox Baker is enough to scare the Devil into going to church. -- A. Percival, friend of famed wrestler, Ox Baker

"You call him a Dumb Ox; I tell you that the Dumb Ox will bellow so loud that his bellowing will fill the world." -- St. Albert the Great in reference to celebrated Christian theologian, Thomas Aquinas

"You starveling, you eel-skin, you dried neat's tongue, you bull's pizzle, you stock-fish!" -- William Shakespeare (1564-1616), British dramatist, poet. Falstaff, in Henry IV, Part 1, act 2, sc. 4, l. 244-5. Getting his own back by insulting Hal; "neat's tongue" means ox tongue; "stock-fish" was dried cod.

To say that the humble "ox" played a pivotal role in European history might to some appear rather strange, but to the people of Salzberg, this beast is a symbol of courage in the face of adversity.

In the 1500s, an enemy army took over the city of Salzburg, Austria depriving the inhabitants of food and drink. Their cupboards bare with nary a bit of food left, the people were practically ready to surrender until they found a lone ox roaming the streets. They paraded the beast in front of the invaders to prove that they were not hungry. Then, during the night, they painted it black to show that they had more than enough livestock for the people to survive. Completely befuddled, the army retreated, leaving the people of Salzberg in peace.

Who says miracles can't happen to a lad who was larger than life. According to legend, American pioneer, Paul Bunyan and his famous blue ox named "Babe" managed to whack down oodles of timber, straighten out winding rivers, and reshape mountains with his bare hands.

When it comes to making movies about big bovine creatures, the Ox takes the cake!

Many tributes to this testy animal can be found in film vaults around the world.

For those who enjoy a foreign language flavor film there's "The Ox" (1992), the true story of a man's betrayal of family and community during the severe drought of the 1860's in Sweden.

There's one from the National Film Board of Canada entitled "Don't Knock the Ox" (about the "International Ox Pull", highlight of the annual fair held in Bridgewater, Nova Scotia).

For those who adore action, adventure and animation, there's a film that's sure to please you: Dragon Ball: The Ox King on Fire Mountain" (2001).

A classic (1943) western, "The Ox-Bow Incident", (starring Henry Fonda and Anthony Quinn), is a study mob violence. This film (based on a true story) begins with the murder of a popular rancher and reveals what a deadly combination ignorance and self-righteousness can be.

"Iron Ox, the Tiger's Killer" (1974 from Taiwan) is a rather gripping tale of kidnapping and murder not to mention a rather superb display of Kung Fu/martial arts.

"Charlie the Ox" (2004) is an indie-film about incompetent safe-crackers and bad bankrobbers who prove once again that "crime only pays when you work alone".

Horace Cowslip Jr., Professor Of Pretty Interesting Stuff, (see in the insert illustration to the right), is a graduate of "Oxford University" and the internationally-renowned "Gadzooks Grammar School" in Kickapoo, Illinois.

One of the most interesting lessons learned in this one room school, (frequented by a loose moose known as "Bull Tweety", a beaver named "Mucky Bucky", and shy teacher whom everyone called "Big Foot"), was devoted to animal names beginning with "ox".

For the benefit of those who were absent from school that day, here are the detailed particulars of that lecture, (as recalled fondly by Horace Cowslip Jr.):

Ox Beetle: Strategus antaeus
Ox Ray: Mobula eregoodootenkee
Ox-Eye Herring: Megalops cyprinoides
Ox-Eye Oreo: Allocyttus folletti
Ox-Eye Scad: Selar boops
Ox-Eyed Dory: Oreosoma atlanticum
Ox-Eyed Satyr: Cercyonis pegala boopis
Ox-Heart Clam: Glossocardia agassizii, Meiocardia agassizii
Oxalis White Fly: Aleyrodes shizuokensis
Oxapampa Poison Frog: Epipedobates planipaleae
Oxen: Bison bonasus
Oxen: Bos frontalis
Oxen: Bos javanicus
Domesticated Cow/Oxen: Bos taurus
Oxheart Clam: Glossus humanus
Oxleyan Pygmy Perch: Nannoperca oxleyana

Big Boys know that hops don't come without hang-overs!

That's why these daring dudes have no need for suds that make them silly!

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Discerning daredevils know that a kick-ass can of "Big Ox" can do the trick and then some!

This alternative, high-powered portable energy energy beverage has one prized ingredient. It's non-medical oxygen is formulated to accommodate today's busy, on-the-go lifestyles. "Big Ox" canned oxygen contains 89 percent oxygen-enriched air in every can and is available in four refreshing flavors: Citrus Blast, Mountain Mint, Polar Rush and Tropical Breeze.

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Insert Photo Credit: "Big Ox" energy drinks, by basicair at flick.com

When it comes to brewing beer, there are no brown cows...but there are oodles of "ox" brands to go round.

In honor of "2009 Year of the Ox", why not have a chinwag and chug-a-lug with friends and family celebrate "Paul Bunyan Days", at the "Blue Ox Beer Festival" in September, or the Red Ox Inn a superb restaurant in Edmonton, Alberta, Canada!

If you don't like above mentioned watering hole and gorgeous gourmet, you might want to pop over the pond and drop into the Olde Fat Ox Ye, Holywell, Whitley Bay Tyne and Wear, UK - NE25 0LJ, Tel: (0)1912370964, or The Durham Ox in Crayke, York, Yorkshire, YO61 4TE; Tel: +44 (0)1347 821506.

Or, better yet, why not pick-up a pack of these bodacious beastly brands and throw a couple of thick juicy steaks on the BBQ to wash them down:

-- "Blond Ox", Yellow Rose micro-brewer, San Antonio, Texas

-- "Drunken Ox Ale", a curiously-named custom-made beer for a British beer festival!

-- "King Red Ox Amber Ale", King Brewing Company, Pontiac, Michigan

-- "Old Ox Cart Extra Dry Beer" label circa 1930, Standard Brewing Company, Rochester, New York

-- "Ox Head Ale" label circa 1930, Standard Brewing Company, Rochester, New York

-- Strong Ox Dark Lager/Stout, Coria, Coria

-- "White Ox", James Page Brewing Company, Stevens Point, Wisconsin

-- "White Buffalo Peace Ale", Crested Butte Brewery, Crested Butte, Colorado

Of course if you're the do-it-yourself home-brew type, you'll probably want check out this ripsnorting recipe, "Angry Ox Ale", available online.

Wanna avoid the hangover that comes with too many hops, then go for a can of "Big Ox", (an alternative, high-powered energy drink! "Big Ox" is portable, canned non-medical oxygen used to accommodate today's busy, on-the-go lifestyles. "Big Ox" canned oxygen contains 89 percent oxygen-enriched air in every can and is available in four refreshing flavors: Citrus Blast, Mountain Mint, Polar Rush and Tropical Breeze.

If an "oxymoron" isn't a dumb ox, then what is it?

An "oxymoron" is figure of speech that combines two normally contradictory things. What sets it apart from other incongruities, opposites or paradoxes is the fact that the placement of the words is used intentionally for rhetorical effect. Often they are used in humor, in drama, or to provoke thought.

The "Oxymoron List" provides a sample of these funny figures of speech: "pretty ugly", "alone together", "deafening silence", "same difference", "jumbo shrimp", "true lies" and "eyes wide shut".

Perhaps a more lightheartead lexicon of these lovely words appears in Mardy Grothe's book entitled, "Oxymoronica - Paradoxical Wit & Wisdom From History's Greatest Wordsmiths". Some of the gems which appear in this titillating tome include:

"He has not a single redeeming defect." Benjamin Disraeli on William Gladstone.

"I have never let my schooling interfere with my Education." Mark Twain.

"He's on a treadmill to Bolivia"

"She was born on a silver platter."

"Meetings are indispensable when you don't want to do anything." John Kenneth Galbraith.

"Hatreds are the cinders of affection." Sir Walter Raleigh.

"I must follow the people. Am I not their leader?" Benjamin Disraeli.

"What you get free costs too much." Jean Anouilh.

"Deader than a door knob."