WELCOME TO "2009 YEAR OF THE OX"
January 26, 2009, (or the year 4707 in the Chinese calendar), begins the "Year of the Earth Ox".
This light-hearted lens is devoted to the udderly ridiculous "Ox" (also known in North America as the "Buffalo"). If you're a fan of humongous heroes, then you probably know all about Paul Bunyan and his famous sidekick, "Babe the Blue Ox".
They are revered animals who symbolize diligence, reliability, sincerity, strength and sound judgement. But, don't expect these lumbering souls to have a sparkling sense of humor or be style conscious...it's not part of the package!
WHAT DO THEY SHARE IN COMMON?
WHO ARE THESE "OX" FOLK ANYWAY?
In China, oxen are put on a pedestal but in western society the odd one or two are found in china shops, while the rest find their way into America's favorite food, a beef burger."Ox", "Buffalo" or "Brown Earth Cow" are people who were born in the following years: 1901, 1913, 1925, 1937, 1949, 1961, 1973, 1985, and 1997.
Those born under the influence of the "Ox" are said to be stable, persevering, tolerant folks with a strong character.
They seem to enjoy plodding along from day to day without griping or complaining and are seldom associated with flashy, get-rich-quick schemes.
Honest, open-minded, and meticulous when it comes to their responsibilities, "Ox" folk rarely lead you down the garden path or change their minds once they've made a decision...which can make them a tad obstinate according to the other animals in the blessed barnyard of life.
Beneath the placid, easy-going and unpretentious exterior of the "Earth Ox" lies a heart of gold, a modest amount of ambition, and a willingness to bear heavy burdens that might overwhelm others, not to mention a strong sense of loyalty and compassion towards family and friends.
With all this going for them, it's not surprising that they might also have a few niggly, not-so-nice characteristics as well like being a titch stubborn, a teensy-weensy bit too methodical, a little feisty with a fierce sense of competition.
WISDOM FROM THE OX
Ox (Chinese Horoscope Library)
Collector's item for those who want to learn more about the ox.
Amazon Price: (as of 07/25/2008)
Children of the Moon: Discover Your Child's Personality Through Chinese Horoscopes
A "must have" book for parents who want to know all about the personality of the "ox", "rabbit", "rooster" etc.
Amazon Price: (as of 07/25/2008)
Simple Chinese Astrology
A primer for those who want to know more about Chinese astrological signs.
Amazon Price: $11.01 (as of 07/25/2008)
The Chronicles of Master Li and Number Ten Ox ( Bridge of Birds, The Story of the Stone & Eight Skilled Gentlemen)
For those who love fiction and farm animals...all 652 pages worth!
Amazon Price: (as of 07/25/2008)
Your Chinese Horoscope 2009: What the Year of the Ox Holds in Store for You
A "must-have" manual for members of the astrological animal kingdom in 2009 - Year of the Ox!
Amazon Price: (as of 07/25/2008)
"An ant on the move does more than a dozing ox.( Lau Tzu)"
ALL YOU EVER WANTED TO KNOW ABOUT THE OX
Ruling Hours: 1:00 - 3:00 am
Season/Month: Winter, January
Similar to Western Astrological Signs: "Capricorn" with some features of "Taurus"
Gemstone: Onyx
Colors: Yellow and blue
Polarity: Yin
Element: Water
Positive Traits: Calm, dependable, honest, caring, honourable, intelligent, industrious, modest, patient, practical, responsible
Negative Traits: Petty, inflexible, possessive, dogmatic, gullible, stubborn, critical, intolerant, materialistic
Associated With Following Countries: Countries Switzerland, India, Cuba, Yemen, Finland, Ukraine
Very Compatible with Following Animals: Rat, Snake, Rooster
Incompatibile with Following Animals: Tiger, Horse, Goat, Rabbit, Monkey
BEST CAREERS FOR THE "OX"
Throughout the Orient, where it was the power that could pull plows and aid in agriculture, it was also a symbol of quiet strength and unassuming kindness.
Since the "Ox" is noted for his ability to work hard without breaking a sweat, not to mention his courage under fire, and his dedication in working towards a goal, they prefer stable occupations in established institutions or investing their talents in building communities/enhancing the health and well-being of others.
-- Archeologist, Academic, Architect, Draftsman, Artist, Interior Designer
-- Carpenter, Engineer, Farmer, Food Processing Specialist,Florist or Horticulturalist, Mechanic
-- Counsellor, General Medical Practitioner, Physiotherapist, Osteopath
-- Army Officer, Banker, Investment Broker, Manager, Real Estate Agent.
__________
Insert photo credit: Torkum's tribute to the Ox.
THE "OX" BOX!
- BLUE OX PRODUCTS
- If you're looking for a "bedsaver" or a "pinlock", you've come to the right place!
- OXO CUBES
- For those who hate band wagons but simply adore gravy trains!
- PURPLE OX
- Those crafty Canucks sure know how to entice customers looking for wine cork boards, mosaics, garden art and hodgepodge.
- FINE OX
- If you're looking for an economical, high-purity synthetic iron-oxide, you've got the right address!
- NUTRI-OX
- If thinning hair is a problem...Nuti-Ox is the answer!
- OX-PRO SERIES
- Entertainment and electronics go hand in hand, especially with an Ox-Pro Series LCD projector.
- OXLIP
- OXLIP - Oxford Library Information Platform
- AEGIS-OX
- Without the help of ageis-ox products in beer bottle caps...there would be no bubbles in the brew!
- OXMETRICS
- Who knew that "OxMetrics" is the home of software packages providing an integrated solution for the econometric analysis of time series, forecasting, financial econometric modelling and for the statistical analysis of cross-section and panel data?
- BIG OX WORKWEAR
- No it's not lingerie for lummoxes...it's custom embroidered protective clothing for very special people!
- BIG OX AIR!
- For high-powered people who want a taste of something different!
- BLUE OX EQUIPMENT
- If you're in the market for log-hauling or fire-stomping whatchamacallits...giv'em a call!
- DUMB OX PRODUCTIONS
- Dedicated to spreading all you need to know about God, Love, Life, and Sex.
- FUNNY OX
- "Funny Ox", a recording artists (a.k.a. a member of the musical animal kingdom silly)
THE "OX" AND THE "COW"
Wikipedia indicates that "cattle, colloquially referred to as cows (though technically cow refers only to female bovines), are domesticated ungulates, a member of the subfamily Bovinae of the family Bovidae.They are raised as livestock for meat (called beef and veal), dairy products (milk), leather and as draft animals (pulling carts, plows and the like). In some countries, such as India, they are honored in religious ceremonies and revered. It is estimated that there are 1.3 billion cattle in the world today."
Oxen are simply cattle, (usually adult, castrated males), frequently trained as draft animals and more often than not referred to as "beasts of burden".
So to make a long story short, here are some simple answers to some very perplexing, politically-charged conundrums involving cows and steers not to mention a whole host of enterprising individuals, corporations, and governments (who more than likely came up with all these cock and bull definitions).
SOCIALISM
You have 2 cows.
You give one to your neighbour (in the community spirit of share and share alike).
COMMUNISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and makes you queue up to get some milk.
FASCISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and sells you some milk.
BUREAUCRATISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then throws the milk away...
TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
You sell them and retire on the income.
SURREALISM
You have two giraffes (because they don't have a clue what cows look like).
The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.
AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.
Later, you hire a consultant to analyze why the cow has dropped dead.
ENRON VENTURE CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows.
The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company (secretly owned by the majority shareholder) who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company.
The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more.
You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States, leaving you with nine cows.
No balance sheet is provided with the release.
The public then buys your bull.
THE ANDERSEN MODEL
You have two cows.
You shred them.
A FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You go on strike, organize a riot, and block the roads, because you want three cows.
A JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.
You then create a clever cow cartoon image called 'Cowkimon' and market it worldwide.
A GERMAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.
AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows, but you don't know where they are.
You decide to have lunch and to listen to Verdi.
A RUSSIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You count them and learn that you have five cows.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
You count them again and learn you have 2 cows.
You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.
A SWISS CORPORATION
You have 5000 cows.
None of them belong to you.
You charge the owners for storing them.
A CHINESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them.
You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity.
You detain the newsman who reported the real situation.
AN INDIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You worship them.
A BRITISH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Both are mad.
AN IRAQI CORPORATION
Everyone thinks you have lots of cows.
You tell them that you have none.
No-one believes you, so they bomb the living daylights out of you and invade your country.
You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of a Democracy....
AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Business seems pretty good.
You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.
You return to find a crazy crocodile has devoured your two cows plus a jolly swagman who happened to be sitting beside a billabong minding his own business.
A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION
You have two cows.
The one on the left looks very attractive.
But if truth be told, it's probably just a wolf in sheep's clothing!
COWABUNGA CORNER
WORDS OF WIT AND WISDOM ABOUT A BIG BEAST OF BURDEN!
So here are a few quips from the quote gallery to expand your knowledge of the humble ox.
You're as strong as an ox. There's no bull about you! (Anonymous)
"There comes a time in the affairs of man when he must take the bull by the tail and face the situation." -- W.C. Fields, 20th century American humorist
"I'm as healthy as an ox." -- Julie Gold, American musician
"Yes, they look on their neighbor's ox and ass with covetousness and their own ox and ass with abhorrence," -- from "Possessions are Nine Points of Conversation" by Ogden Nash, 20th century American humorist and poet
"Know the grass isn't always greener on the other side, 'cause I only have horns for you! (Anonymous)
"An ant on the move does more than a dozing ox." -- Lao Tzu, Chinese philosopher
"The ox suffers, the cart complains." -- Victor Hugo, 19th century French author
"I'm glad you're part of my time because you just tell people to moooove over or you'll stomp on them! -- Anonymous
"You shall not muzzle an ox while it is treading out the grain." -- Bible: Hebrew, Deuteronomy 25:4.
The Act of God designation on all insurance policies... means roughly that you cannot be insured for the accidents that are most likely to happen to you. If your ox kicks a hole in your neighbor's Maserati, however, indemnity is instantaneous. -- Alan Coren, "The Lady from Stalingrad Mansions", 1977
Can Mac OX 10.5 Leopard run in my computer? -- DuyNZ in a thread from a PCWorld online forum.
The sight of Ox Baker is enough to scare the Devil into going to church. -- A. Percival, friend of famed wrestler, Ox Baker
"You call him a Dumb Ox; I tell you that the Dumb Ox will bellow so loud that his bellowing will fill the world." -- St. Albert the Great in reference to celebrated Christian theologian, Thomas Aquinas
"You starveling, you eel-skin, you dried neat's tongue, you bull's pizzle, you stock-fish!" -- William Shakespeare (1564-1616), British dramatist, poet. Falstaff, in Henry IV, Part 1, act 2, sc. 4, l. 244-5. Getting his own back by insulting Hal; "neat's tongue" means ox tongue; "stock-fish" was dried cod.
OX TALES
In the 1500s, an enemy army took over the city of Salzburg, Austria depriving the inhabitants of food and drink. Their cupboards bare with nary a bit of food left, the people were practically ready to surrender until they found a lone ox roaming the streets. They paraded the beast in front of the invaders to prove that they were not hungry. Then, during the night, they painted it black to show that they had more than enough livestock for the people to survive. Completely befuddled, the army retreated, leaving the people of Salzberg in peace.
Who says miracles can't happen to a lad who was larger than life. According to legend, American pioneer, Paul Bunyan and his famous blue ox named "Babe" managed to whack down oodles of timber, straighten out winding rivers, and reshape mountains with his bare hands.
THE OX - FOOD FOR THOUGHT
Riding the Ox Home: Stages on the Path of Enlightenment
In Eastern culture, the Ox, a symbol of benevolence, is revered as one of humanity's most valuable helpers - and quite naturally, a source of great wisdom.
Amazon Price: $11.90 (as of 07/25/2008)
Hoofprint of the Ox: Principles of the Chan Buddhist Path as Taught by a Modern Chinese Master
In a world of complexity, it's nice to know that there different ways to quiet the mind and find inner peace.
Amazon Price: $24.30 (as of 07/25/2008)
How to Raise an Ox: Zen Practice as Taught in Zen Master Dogen's Shobogenzo
Zen can be as easy as raising an ox or learning how to live each moment with wisdom and compassion.
Amazon Price: $11.53 (as of 07/25/2008)
Herding the Ox: The Martial Arts As Moral Metaphor
An entertaining and enlightening journey into the search for a deeper meaning in the martial arts.
Amazon Price: $12.95 (as of 07/25/2008)
In the Year of the Ox
Amazon Price: $15.00 (as of 07/25/2008)
DON'T KNOCK THE OX!
Many tributes to this testy animal can be found in film vaults around the world.
For those who enjoy a foreign language flavor film there's "The Ox" (1992), the true story of a man's betrayal of family and community during the severe drought of the 1860's in Sweden.
There's one from the National Film Board of Canada entitled "Don't Knock the Ox" (about the "International Ox Pull", highlight of the annual fair held in Bridgewater, Nova Scotia).
For those who adore action, adventure and animation, there's a film that's sure to please you: Dragon Ball: The Ox King on Fire Mountain" (2001).
A classic (1943) western, "The Ox-Bow Incident", (starring Henry Fonda and Anthony Quinn), is a study mob violence. This film (based on a true story) begins with the murder of a popular rancher and reveals what a deadly combination ignorance and self-righteousness can be.
"Iron Ox, the Tiger's Killer" (1974 from Taiwan) is a rather gripping tale of kidnapping and murder not to mention a rather superb display of Kung Fu/martial arts.
"Charlie the Ox" (2004) is an indie-film about incompetent safe-crackers and bad bankrobbers who prove once again that "crime only pays when you work alone".
PLANT NAMES WITH THE PREFIX "OX"
YOU MEAN THERE'S MORE THAN ONE KIND OF OX?
One of the most interesting lessons learned in this one room school, (frequented by a loose moose known as "Bull Tweety", a beaver named "Mucky Bucky", and shy teacher whom everyone called "Big Foot"), was devoted to animal names beginning with "ox".
For the benefit of those who were absent from school that day, here are the detailed particulars of that lecture, (as recalled fondly by Horace Cowslip Jr.):
Ox Beetle: Strategus antaeus
Ox Ray: Mobula eregoodootenkee
Ox-Eye Herring: Megalops cyprinoides
Ox-Eye Oreo: Allocyttus folletti
Ox-Eye Scad: Selar boops
Ox-Eyed Dory: Oreosoma atlanticum
Ox-Eyed Satyr: Cercyonis pegala boopis
Ox-Heart Clam: Glossocardia agassizii, Meiocardia agassizii
Oxalis White Fly: Aleyrodes shizuokensis
Oxapampa Poison Frog: Epipedobates planipaleae
Oxen: Bison bonasus
Oxen: Bos frontalis
Oxen: Bos javanicus
Domesticated Cow/Oxen: Bos taurus
Oxheart Clam: Glossus humanus
Oxleyan Pygmy Perch: Nannoperca oxleyana
"OX" YOU PROBABLY DIDN'T KNOW EXISTED
WHO SAYS "BIG OX" ROCKS?
That's why these daring dudes have no need for suds that make them silly!
Those who want to climb mountains, forge streams, or leap over tall buildings with a single bound go only one thing!
Discerning daredevils know that a kick-ass can of "Big Ox" can do the trick and then some!
This alternative, high-powered portable energy energy beverage has one prized ingredient. It's non-medical oxygen is formulated to accommodate today's busy, on-the-go lifestyles. "Big Ox" canned oxygen contains 89 percent oxygen-enriched air in every can and is available in four refreshing flavors: Citrus Blast, Mountain Mint, Polar Rush and Tropical Breeze.
__________
Insert Photo Credit: "Big Ox" energy drinks, by basicair at flick.com
PAUL BUNYAN AND "BABE" THE BLUE OX
Walt Disney - Paul Bunyan (2/2) - 1958
Part 2 of 2. This short brings to life the tall tale of giant lumberjack Paul Bunyan and his large blue ox Babe. It presents Bunyan's shore-side discovery as a baby, his small town youth, his tree-cutting journeys out west, and his standoff with the diminutive Joe Muffaw with his steam-powered saw.
Runtime: 7:48
11302 views
7 Comments:
BIG BEASTLY BRANDS OF BUBBLY BREW
In honor of "2009 Year of the Ox", why not have a chinwag and chug-a-lug with friends and family celebrate "Paul Bunyan Days", at the "Blue Ox Beer Festival" in September, or the Red Ox Inn a superb restaurant in Edmonton, Alberta, Canada!
If you don't like above mentioned watering hole and gorgeous gourmet, you might want to pop over the pond and drop into the Olde Fat Ox Ye, Holywell, Whitley Bay Tyne and Wear, UK - NE25 0LJ, Tel: (0)1912370964, or The Durham Ox in Crayke, York, Yorkshire, YO61 4TE; Tel: +44 (0)1347 821506.
Or, better yet, why not pick-up a pack of these bodacious beastly brands and throw a couple of thick juicy steaks on the BBQ to wash them down:
-- "Blond Ox", Yellow Rose micro-brewer, San Antonio, Texas
-- "Drunken Ox Ale", a curiously-named custom-made beer for a British beer festival!
-- "King Red Ox Amber Ale", King Brewing Company, Pontiac, Michigan
-- "Old Ox Cart Extra Dry Beer" label circa 1930, Standard Brewing Company, Rochester, New York
-- "Ox Head Ale" label circa 1930, Standard Brewing Company, Rochester, New York
-- Strong Ox Dark Lager/Stout, Coria, Coria
-- "White Ox", James Page Brewing Company, Stevens Point, Wisconsin
-- "White Buffalo Peace Ale", Crested Butte Brewery, Crested Butte, Colorado
Of course if you're the do-it-yourself home-brew type, you'll probably want check out this ripsnorting recipe, "Angry Ox Ale", available online.
Wanna avoid the hangover that comes with too many hops, then go for a can of "Big Ox", (an alternative, high-powered energy drink! "Big Ox" is portable, canned non-medical oxygen used to accommodate today's busy, on-the-go lifestyles. "Big Ox" canned oxygen contains 89 percent oxygen-enriched air in every can and is available in four refreshing flavors: Citrus Blast, Mountain Mint, Polar Rush and Tropical Breeze.
LOVELY LORE BY OR ABOUT OXEN OF COURSE
- LOVEGEVITY
- Or what you need to know about "Ox" folk before you date, go down the garden path, or get hitched to these heavenly creatures.
- ALL YOU EVER WANTED TO KNOW ABOUT THE "OX"
- A compact compendium of interesting things about the "Ox" in Chinese astrology.
- HERDING THE OX
- "Herding the Ox" - A Zen Allegory (or all about searching for, finding, glimpsing, catching, leading, and riding the ox, not to mention transcending the ox (when one has no need of the ox any more).
- HOW BABE THE BLUE OX LOST HIS HEAD
- A titillating tale about how Paul Bunyan's famous sidekick, ("Babe - The Blue Ox"), lost his head.
- THE OX AND THE DONKEY
- A timeless tale from the Arabian nights.
- MORE ABOUT THE OX PERSONALITY
- The Ox has good points and pointless ones as well.
- DAILY OX HOROSCOPE
- Here's a glimpse into the daily astrological life of the "Ox".
- CHINESE OX ASTROLOGY
- Did you know that there are four kinds of "Ox" in Chinese astrology?
- THE LEGENDARY OX BAKER
- You wouldn't want to mess around with this dude on a dark night in Dallas.
- WHY NOT DONATE TO OXFAM?
- In "2009 Year of the Ox", it is most appropriate indeed to donate to an international aid organization named, "Oxfam".
- CANNIBAL OX
- This dandy duo from New York make killer hip-hop music!
- A LIMERICK OX
- "A Limerick Ox" - a blog about modern music.
- UNMUZZLED OX
- A little magazine of poetry, art, music, and politics.
- OXO GRAVY TRAIN FOR ARTIST
- Who'da thought you could create a sculpture made from nothing but OXO cubes?
- LOVE ASTROLOGY - YEAR OF THE OX
- Oxen may not be the Romeos and Juliets of the zodiac, but you may be titillated just a tad when they woo you with their words of endearment.
A MOOOVING MUSEUM
HOLY COW CALENDARS FOR 2009
Good Luck Gamblers Calendar 2009 Chinese Astrological Edition
For those who need to improve their lunar lucky stars!
Amazon Price: $13.95 (as of 07/25/2008)
Living Language® Chinese: 2009 Day-to-Day Calendar (Living Language)
Learn a living language one day at a time, (recommended by the Beast of Burden Book Club)
Amazon Price: $11.89 (as of 07/25/2008)
Just Cows 2009 Calendar
Time to milk this one for all its worth!
Amazon Price: $11.89 (as of 07/25/2008)
Lunar: A Glow-in-the-Dark Calendar for the 2009 Lunar Year
Rock your socks off with this "Glow-in-the-Dark Calendar" for the 2009 Lunar Year!
Amazon Price: $11.19 (as of 07/25/2008)
AN "OXYMORON" ISN'T A DUMB OX!
If an "oxymoron" isn't a dumb ox, then what is it?An "oxymoron" is figure of speech that combines two normally contradictory things. What sets it apart from other incongruities, opposites or paradoxes is the fact that the placement of the words is used intentionally for rhetorical effect. Often they are used in humor, in drama, or to provoke thought.
The "Oxymoron List" provides a sample of these funny figures of speech: "pretty ugly", "alone together", "deafening silence", "same difference", "jumbo shrimp", "true lies" and "eyes wide shut".
Perhaps a more lightheartead lexicon of these lovely words appears in Mardy Grothe's book entitled, "Oxymoronica - Paradoxical Wit & Wisdom From History's Greatest Wordsmiths". Some of the gems which appear in this titillating tome include:
"He has not a single redeeming defect." Benjamin Disraeli on William Gladstone.
"I have never let my schooling interfere with my Education." Mark Twain.
"He's on a treadmill to Bolivia"
"She was born on a silver platter."
"Meetings are indispensable when you don't want to do anything." John Kenneth Galbraith.
"Hatreds are the cinders of affection." Sir Walter Raleigh.
"I must follow the people. Am I not their leader?" Benjamin Disraeli.
"What you get free costs too much." Jean Anouilh.
"Deader than a door knob."
BLING TO MAKE YOUR BLUE OX HAPPY!
BATTY BOOKMARKS FOR THOSE WHO DON'T LIKE OXEN
GREETINGS FROM GLAD-HANDING GUESTS
Since goring bulls and dishing out dirt during the "Year of the Ox" is frowned upon, think of something nice to say to keep "Babe" the Blue Ox happy!


