5 Books to Save Your Marriage —or— 5 Books to Make a Good Relationship Flourish

"I don't need a book for advice."

In a time when most U.S. marriages end in divorce and many of the rest remain unsatisfying, from whom do you seek your relationship advice? When a problem seems unsolvable do you ask your divorced parents, your unhappily married aunt and uncle, your never married friends? Or do you have a parent or grandparent with the fruit on the tree of a prospering marriage with years on it?

If you don't have a successful relationship from which to model yours, or if you need another perspective, try a book. Many relationship/marriage therapists who write books (though not all) have successfully counseled others and have their own successful marriages from which to share insight.

"I don't need any relationship help."

If a relationship doesn't grow then it's moving backward; it doesn't stand still. That's why it's important for even healthy relationships to continually improve.

On the other hand, if your relationship is in trouble and you don't actively work to fix it by learning new information (either from a friend or parent in a successful marriage, a therapist, a book, or a workshop) the relationship will only continue to deteriorate.

"Then where do I go for advice?"

I've personally seen each book on this list help numerous others and heard some say one of more of these books saved their marriage.

Thanks to a leadership and personal development program in which I'm involved, LIFE (Living Intentionally for Excellence), I've read several marriage and relationship books that have helped my and my husband's good relationship flourish into a great relationship, and I've found five in particular helpful. In fact, after watching almost every single one of my relatives go through at least one ugly divorce where spouses seemed to want to hurt each other and no one came out unscathed I never thought I'd want to marry, or at least if I did that it wouldn't last (that's statistics, of course.) After reading two of these books, however, I feel I have the tools I need to not only maintain a lifelong marriage but also to beat the obstacles and the odds, love during the good times and the bad, and generally be happy.

My experience alone, however, does not a good book make. I've personally seen each book on this list help numerous others, too, and heard some say one of more of these books saved their marriage.

Each of the five books has information beneficial to couples from every walk of life (some more beneficial to some than others, but all beneficial in some way to all). Each seems to catch the mistakes we make in marriages, explain the reasoning behind each problem, and provides solutions to fix these mistakes or prevent them from occurring. Finally, the five I'm presenting to you I believe to be the best because they each look at the needs of marriage from a different angle and fill the needs of both the husband and the spouse.

The List

5 Books to Save Your Marriage
— or —
5 Books to Make a Good Relationship Flourish

1. The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman


2. His Needs, Her Needs by Willard F. Jr. Harley


3. For Women Only by Shaunti Feldhahn and For Men Only by Shaunti Feldhahn and Jeff Feldhahn


4. Personality Plus by Florence Littauer


5. Love and Respect by Emerson Eggerichs

Read one of these five and your spouse will (perhaps silently) thank you. Read all five and apply their principles and your marriage can flourish.

What Else You'll Find (And a Disclaimer)

If you've read a book you find especially helpful please add it to YOUR Relationship Book List!

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NOTE: I am NOT recommending to not seek professional help if your marriage is in crisis. I am recommending these books as great resources that I and many other people I personally know found helpful. Maybe you don't yet need or want professional help. Maybe you need professional advice but have an unwilling partner. Or perhaps you want additional help in conjunction with a marriage therapist. I have confidence you'll find these books helpful in each of these cases.