Station Wagons

Movies try really hard to make you think the 80s was all about status. Everyone drove BMWs while eating grey poupon and shouting greed is good. You know different. Before the minivan came along and ruined everything the station wagon ruled the earth. Many of them were wood paneled, and a select few were old 60's era vista cruisers with windows around the top of the cargo area. We had the utilitarian model known as the '79 Cutlass Cruiser. It had no wood paneling, and the back seats had these weird little side windows that barely popped out and gave you pretty much no air. It also came with an AM only radio. You haven't lived until you have gone from Reno to Salt Lake City in one of these rides. I got so bored I was literally looking at the desert hoping to see a cow skull next to water like you do in cartoons.

Seat Belts Optional

The 80s were more of a fun time to be a kid. The highways were full of pick-up truck beds featuring teens rocking out to Whitesnake and every kid knew the way back was the best place to ride in the station wagon. Not only did you get to make goofy faces at all the people driving behind you, but you could make yourself fall over every time the car turned. I always called that game Jello.

Lying on the floor of a rapidly traveling car was always a simple way to relieve boredom and to get a new perspective on longer trips. It was also good for kicking siblings.

Naughahyde

Since my Mom will probably read this I am not going to call my parents cheap, maybe frugal, no economically minded. My parents were at times economically minded. This was why our station wagon didn't have leather or even fabric seats. No we had naughahyde. Naughahyde was this fake leather plastic stuff that was made fun of in countless Garfield strips. As soon as the temperature got over 70 degrees you would stick to it. Maybe this was why I was so naturally skinny as a kid, I must have sweated all my extra weight onto our fake pleather seats.

Nowadays you never hear the word naughahyde any more. I guess they don't make it or call it something else. I can't believe there is no Emo band named Naughahyde yet. Imagine this awesome concert Live Tuesday March 21st Naughahyde in concert with special guests Spork.

The Interstate Tourist trap Restaurant experience

Tourist traps are not gone but they are slowly becoming endangered. Where once you had to travel miles and miles through farmland and nothing to get to an overpriced restaurant with a silly name and a cheesy theme, now you never leave the suburbs. Why would you possibly want to stop somewhere with an airport, a train, a playground, and a gigantic gift shop when you could stop at a Bed, Bath and Beyond? Nothing compliments your road trip like a matching comforter, pillow sham set for A California King. Of course if you miss that Bed, Bath and Beyond, no worries, you will see at least 64 more before you reach your final destination.

Back in the 80s every Bay area resident stopped at the Nut Tree on the way to Tahoe. You paid too much, you made some questionable impulse buys at the gift shop, but it was not a Denny's, so you won. Plus Tahoe has gambling so you would have lost that money anyway. Nowadays you visit Vacaville and the English translation of Cowtown U.S.A. barely applies, not that you can tell. It now looks exactly the same as Fairfield, Davis, Woodland or any of the other-are they a suburb of Sacramento or the bay area? cities along 80.

Even the places that are still in rural areas now face a lot competition. Back in the day you would stop at Andersen's Pea Soup Restaurant and get a free green crayon and purchase some mad libs and a crock of cheese spread for your trip. Now instead of a lone Danish themed restaurant and a few gas stations, there is every type of fast food and sit down chain imaginable. I have nothing against Denny's (The Super Bird is awesome, I could go for one right now), I just miss the days when going somewhere else meant going somewhere different. Am I the only one?

Van Conversions

Yes the 70s was their golden era but in the 80's everyone still knew at least one family with a Van Conversion. They seemed so exotic with their rotating Captains chairs and a plethora of cupholders everywhere you looked. The '79 Cutlass Cruiser had exactly zero cupholders.

Riding with impressionable children

Look I am not saying television in any way influences children, but I do remember a period in the early 80s when a certain relative of mine would not use the door of the station wagon. He would climb on the hood, go through the driver's side window and climb over the front seat to reach his spot in the back. Bo and Luke would have been so proud.

Awesome colors for cars
I secretly miss the days when people would head to the beach in Suzuki Samurais that were teal with a hot pink and purple trim, or they would cruise through town in a bright red Pontiac Fiero. Nowadays everyone drives the same grey Honda Accord.

This concludes our trip for now. You will notice I didn't mention those Baby on Board signs. Why? Because they were not a forgotten trend. In fact I saw one on a minivan the other day. I wonder if the people realize their Baby is now at least 20. (God, I am so old. I guess I should go watch a Hanna Montana concert and pretend I am 11, on second thought. No, screw it where's my walkman I need to hear some Bon Jovi, stat)

Getting trucks to honk while you pumped up and down your fist.
I don't think kids do this anymore. They are to busy watching those annoying DVD players. Or maybe they have parents who make you feel guilty about scaring the poor person who was driving in front of said truck. You mean that only happened to me? Maybe that explains some of my issues.

Most 80's roadtrip thing ever.
That would be the suction cup Garfield whose front has been faded by hours of sitting in the back window of a station wagon. Of course I didn't put my suction Garfield in the car. I took Garfield much to seriously for that. He stayed in the house where occasionally I would try to suction him to the bathroom mirror from time to time. He feel off after about 2 seconds. Suction cup Garfields only worked on car windows that hadn't been properly cleaned since 1977.

What's one of the best parts of a roadtrip? Duh eating out! Finding something different or a stopping at a chain you don't live nearby is always fun, but what happens when you fall in love with the food but you can't drive a thousand miles just to eat. Why not make it at home. To find out how just Click Here!