Am I Really Pregnant ?

Women can have months where they are sure that they are pregnant. Signs that can indicate a pregnancy is presesnt, such as tender breasts, feeling exhausted, going off certain foods, etc.

Whilst these can be signs of pregnancy it can also be your mind playing tricks on you.

Last month, I had lots of pregnancy symptons, I don't know if it was my mind or body playing tricks on me. We have been trying for 10 months now, so even though I try to kid myself its ok no rush, I cant help getting upset every now and again.

Anyway, about a week before my actual period my breasts really hurt, even when I bumped them myself. I went off my usual cup of tea and I felt exhausted. A couple of days later one of my boobs leaked - this was a sure fire sign surely. So I had that voice "must be, gotta be". Then, bang I got my period!

But, it wasn't a normal period. It only lasted a day and was not heavy, so I decided to do a home pregnancy test. It was a Clearblue one, the ones where a cross signals pregnancy and a line not pregnant. The results were weird, I had the bold horizontal line there but also a thin vertical (a 5th of he normal size) blue line. ( I have put a video on here to try and show you the result, it was not visible with my poor quality camera, also not too visible on the video, but I hope you can see that
thin line) .

Anyway, I googled the results and the fact that I had, had a period. Loads of women out there have a period but can still be pregnant. I have a friend, who knows a woman that had her periods for the whole 9 months! I myself had experienced spotting with my first, but not a full period.

I was due to visit my GP anyway to organise some Blood Tests and an Ultrasound Scan to test that everything was working ok. I showed him the result from the home pregnancy test and told him my pregnancy like symptons. He said that while I was getting my other blood tests he would get them to do a blood test to test for a pregnancy.

I had the blood test about an hour later and telephoned later that day to get my results. They were negative - not pregnant. Again, I felt like I had been kicked in the teeth! I can't help it.

I know I said I would be doing a test on the 25th October. Well, I got my period 2 days ago. At first it was light so I was still hopeful, but then it changed to a normal flow. I asked myself, can you be pregnant and still have a period? There are loads of stories about women who have had their period and still been pregnant. Even for the full 9 months and never known they were pregnant.

Well, I decided to do a pregnancy test which was negative. I was a little bit down about it yesterday, can't help it, but back on track now. One things for sure - I am not giving in!!!!

My husband got tested this week to check that everything was OK there. To be honest, we expected the results to come back fine as we had been focusing mainly on me and my fertility. However, when he went to the doctors to discuss the results of the test he was told that some (around 50%) of his tadpoles (calling them this because squidoo wont allow the other name) were 'lazy'. Not performing as they should.

The doctor asked my husband if he had cut out coffee and beer which he has. There are also other factors which include stress (been a lot of that lately because of changing jobs, etc, etc), tired (definitely, our kids are up at 4am!). Anyway, he said just to confirm things he wants Buster to do another test. So, we will see what the results of that bring.

All the blood tests that I had done about 2 weeks ago have come back OK. I am now being sent for yet another blood test which has to be done on day 14 of my cycle (next week). This one is to test for my hormones. I will be back on to post the results as soon as I have them. Everything came back fine, now another one for hormones due on day 21.

Everything came back fine on the day 21 test too.

Cervical Mucus plays a large role when trying to conceive - think of it as the taxi service to get the tadpoles to the egg. Fertile cervical mucus resembles egg white (stringy and stretchy - if rubbed between fingers it will stretch). There are things that you can get to help improve the quality and quantity of your cervical mucus.

I myself use preseed and would strongly reccommend it - it looks just like the real thing. What you have to be aware of is that the majority of lubricants out there can actually harm the cervical mucus and make it infertile.

You can learn more about tracking your cervical mucus so that you are able to pinpoint when it is most fertile on my ovulation lens (click here)

I had my appointment with Paul Stokes yesterday. He went through all the results of the tests we have both had done. He said that my husband's (Buster) lazy tadpoles (calling them this as squidoo won't accept the real name) were nothing to worry about. It was not an amount that would make too much of a difference. So far all the tests that I have had done had come back fine.

The complicated bit was when he said that most of the tests would highlight a problem but wouldn't actually confirm that everything was running smoothly. He described it as 'if you put your hand on the bonnet of a car and you feel that it is warm it will confirm that the engine has been running but it wont confirm how fast it was going'. He asked me lots of questions about the births of my 2 boys which were both C-Section. After my youngest Sam I did have some blood clotting about 2 weeks later which they didn't treat me for - he said that they should have at least have given me antibiotics. They had done a scan because I was getting pains similar to contractions. The scan confirmed that there was a tiny bit of 'afterbirth' in there that was coming out naturally.

What he wants to do now is on day 2 of my next cycle send me for yet another blood test (can't remember what this is for). On day 12 or 13 he wants to do a scan in the fertility center. He also wants to send me for a test where dye is put into the womb to highlight the tubes and to check that there are no blockages. I am currently on day 27 of this cycle (wouldn't it be great if this was the month and I didn't need to be prodded and poked anymore?) so not too long to wait until I can have these tests done.

I am a bit concerned at the bit about my tubes being blocked as he said if they are then the only way to get pregnant is via IVF which is a method that we would not be able to consider because of funding.

He said that because my cycles were irregular - 26-36 days he didn't think that I ovulated every month.

I asked him whether it is best when trying to conceive to try every night or every other and he replied that he doesn't reccommend either. He said if you are ovulating it will be around day 13 or 14 just do it around that time don't make it methodical because it will start taking over you life and will cause stress which doesn't help with getting pregnant.

I had a HSG Scan last week at the request of Paul Stokes. I was really nervous about having the scan as it would let me know if there were any blockages in my tubes. Paul seemed to think that there may be blockages there because after my second C-Section I did have some clotting that was never treated.

At first the test was rather like a Pap Smear but then a catheter is inserted and you are able to see on a monitor your fallopian tubes. Then some dye is put into the catheter which goes into the uterus and then goes hopefully through the tubes. If the dye does not make it through the tubes then it shows that there are blockages. Luckily it did which meant that there are no blockages - great news.

The scan itself was a bit uncomfortable but not too bad. When the dye was put in it was a bit painful. It felt like a bad period pain, stomach cramp. I took paracetomol for the rest of the day as I did experience a slight stomach cramp every now and again.

On another positive note when the scan was all finished and I was changed ready to leave one of the ladies who had helped get me and the equipment all set up told me that often after a HSG scan people can conceive better. The dye just flushes out the tubes a bit. I left feeling a lot better than when I had gone in. A major hurdle had come out positive - isn't it good when that happens?

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My fertility specialist has put me onto Clomid. I am now on the second months course. The first month I was on half a tablet and this month I took a full tablet (50mg) from days 3-7. I am hoping it works this month because I am not enjoying the side effects.

I didn't really pick up on them too much the first month, probably due to the lower dosage of Clomid. Before the time of ovulation last month I felt really tired, complete exhaustion really. I put it down to a bug and probably the come down after the crazy Christmas we had. However, this month around the same time of the month, the same thing, absolutely worn out and then there has been something else that is similar this month, but this month worse than the previous. I am now at the time of ovulation and my stomach is so bloated it's really uncomfortable. I currently look 3 months pregnant!

Not enjoying taking Clomid at all - hoping this month it will work so that I don't have to take it anymore!

I know, I know I am only on day 27 of cycle so it is really too early to be doing a pregnancy test, but I couldn't help myself - it's all starting to drive me a little crazy! Up until yesterday, I had been getting symptoms that were making me think that maybe it had worked for us this month. I had tender breasts and my morning temperature had gotten right up there to over 37. I know that the tender breasts can be caused by the lovely Clomid that I am on, but I was still hopeful.

Anyway like I said yesterday and for a week prior my breasts had been feeling tender and swollen. You know the feeling, when you catch them it hurts. Last night, it seemed to go off a little and today they are fine, no tenderness! My temperature reading was at 36.5 this morning which is a drop from the previous day at 37. Constantly asking yourself 'am I pregnant or not' can get really hard and emotionally draining so I decided to do a pregnancy test, which of course came out negative. I feel like I am going to get my period any day now, which I also know can often be the case when still pregnant, aaarrrgghhh! It's looking like another month of Clomid for me, isn't it?

Got my appointment with Paul Stokes, fertility guy in 6 days so I will be asking him a few questions. In the meantime what do you think, am I pregnant or not?

I had my appointment with Paul, my fertility guy early because again I got my period early. It started really light and watery so at first I was hopeful. Paul went through the results of the last 2 months of using Clomid and told me that at the moment it doesn't seem to be working for us. My progesterone level (which is found through a blood test and is used for finding out if ovulation has taken place) was actually lower in these 2 months than it has been before I started using Clomid! He said though that my age (37 going on 16) has something to do with it too.

Anyway we are increasing the dosage (great - double side effects) this month up to 100mg. He said if we don't see any good results this month that we may have to look at daily injectionsand monitoring, at a cost of $800. Please work Clomid! 3rd time lucky.

Doubling the dosage of clomid up to 2 tablets a day did the trick, well it made me ovulate anyway. Paul said that with the blood test results for February he could tell that I had ovulated - still no pregnancy though - but hey, it's a move in the right direction. He is keeping me on this dosage for another month and seeing how I go this month. My cycle length had also increased this month to a sturdy 28 days which he said was also good.

I left on a positive note this month - ready to start another month of trying to conceive.

You know the really funny thing though, last month I was convinced that I hadn't ovulated (I had no symptons of ovulation) whereas the previous 3 months I was convinced that I had and experienced lots of symptons but had never actually ovulated ! The sore boobs, cramps etc were not in my head - honest !

I am now on day 29 of my cycle. I had my appointment yesterday with Paul who confirmed that yes I had ovulated but it had taken place a couple of days later than he would normally expect with Clomid - I ovulated on day 16, therefore my cycle would stretch out for a few more days. I have to go again for another appointment on day 32, so I will return again with what he says then. He wants me to continue taking my temperature in the next few days - which is over 37 degrees by the way.

I am getting a few cramps like I am going to get my period but I can't help thinking well, maybe I am pregnant ? Again, back to those nightmarish few days - am I ? Aren't I? I will update you in a few days.

Well, I have been on 100 mg of Clomid again this month and I am now on day 28. You know the time where you think every twinge or feeling may indicate a pregnancy - the time that you go a little crazy :) I did get some pains though on day 24, stomach cramps which got me thinking oh no, maybe I am going to get my period early and I didn't even ovulate this month. Then I thought, hang on a minute maybe it could be implantation, maybe April could be our month - I TOLD YOU IT DRIVES YOU CRAZY :)

Anyway, like I said it's day 28 and last month I didn't get my period until day 30 so 2 more days of torture to go. I don't have my appointment with Paul Stokes until Wednesday which will be day 32 - maybe he knew something that I didn't this month - that I wouldn't be getting my period and we are going to have hit the jackpot this month.

I will be back in a few days to let you know whether we are baby dancing or in for another month of trying to conceive.

Well, I have an update for you - not pregnant - still no success, aaarrggghhh (sorry just had to let out a scream then.)

Anyway, I went to see Paul Stokes my fertility guy who has said that he thinks we should move onto the next stage. So, this month I am having an HCG shot and we are doing insemination aswell. This does not mean that we stop trying to conceive naturally but the insemination will mean that they get to the right place at the right time. This is at a cost of $800, so not sure how many attempts we will be able to afford. I just know that this is our last chance - IVF is $10,000 ! Unless of course we win the lottery this will not be happening.

I am still taking Clomid and then on day 12 I go in for a scan to see how my follicles are growing, then when they are ready a shot and insemination. This is just a summary of what this procedure entails - I have decided that the whole thing warrants it's own lens as it is quite detailed. So, I will be back with my new lens details when I get it done.

Will, update you soon with my progress - anyone else out there trying to conceive - don't give in seems to be the motto !

Well the Intrauterine Insemination didn't work this month. I took it really hard this month with finding out that yet again, I am not pregnant, but at the end of 2 days of crying and basically being an emotional mess, I feel like I have turned a corner with my own emotions. Don't get me wrong I am sure that tears will come at the end of this month if we are again unsuccessful, but I feel like I have accepted that it may never happen. It helps that I am a believer in fate, everything happens for a reason. Even though this belief has been tested to the limit recently, unless of course we just deserve the knock back after knock back we are getting lately :) That's right, see the smiley back there, I am still smiling. After all I have 2 amazing boys, well 3 if you count my hubby, (I have included a pic for you - it's an old one because I don't like my hubbys long hair at mo - another story) so I am already very blessed and if we don't get a third child so be it.

Anyway, onwards - we are doing another course of the HCG shot and Intrauterine Insemination this month. My fertility specialist, Paul Stokes was happy with the way that my body responded to the treatment - the blood test revealed that I had ovulated well, so here we go again. Today is day 5 of my cycle and I am just starting the Clomid today, for 5 days and then I have a scan booked for next Tuesday, in 7 days. Hopefully then the Intrauterine Insemination will be the day after - I will keep you posted.

Following on, I am now on day 17 of my cycle and have still NOT ovulated. Last month I ovulated on day 12 ! My temperature chart looks like the rocky mountains too. I even contacted the fertility clinic on day 11 which was the day before my scheduled scan because from reading my temperature chart it looked like I had ovulated. They got me in for a scan that day that showed 1 little follicle. This meant that I had either ovulated or was not ready to ovulate, aarrgghh ! They booked me another appointment for day 15 to see how that follicle would grow.

On day 15 the scan confirmed that yes the follicle had grown and was now up to 15mm. I was asked to go in for another scan on Monday to see how it grows in the next 3 days. I was also given a testing kit that I have to do at home on day 17 to detect whether or not an LH surge is present. Of course the test involves weeing in a pot - don't they all ?

I did question my fertility guy, Paul Stokes though because last month when I had the artificial insemination and he waited until my follicles were 21mm before giving me the HCG shot he did comment that maybe they had done it a little late. Well, bearing in mind that he has already told me that follicles grow around 2mm per day I hope that giving me the HCG on day 18 will not be too late. I telephoned him to voice my concerns after the appointment (isn't it funny how as soon as you leave an appointment you have questions?) and he assured me that the timing will be right. I just hope that he is not delaying because it is over the weekend, so that they don't have to go into clinic over the weekend. I have to put my trust in him, but bearing in mind the treatment costs $800 per month I want to give it the maximum chance of working.

Well, the intrauterine insemination didn't work the second time around either but I seemed to handle it better this month. I think you just get used to the dissappointment. To be honest, when I went in for my appointment the next day with Paul, my fertility guy, I had it in my head to take a break for a while, but, when he had looked at my temperature chart he said that he wanted to try it again but with something other than clomid to trigger ovulation. He has given me something called a Puregon Pen and a whole box filled of needles and stuff.

I had to start injecting myself every day. I have created a lens on its own on this but I will re-visit this lens at the end of the month, hopefully with good news :)

July was unsuccessful too. We have decided to take a break from the drugs and are now opting for Natural Fertility Treatment. I have myself a Homeopathic lady at Brisbane and I am taking all sorts of supplements which are not only meant to help us to get pregnant but also to relieve stress etc. Fingers crossed. I have created a lens which you can find below on the whole Natural Fertility Treatment that we are on.

Squidoo is my favourite place on the web. It's easy to make friends and it's just a lovely community of talented folk here willing to help newbies. The modules that you are given to work with make lensmaking easy and fun. So go have fun and Click here to Make Your Lens today