My Amazon Anti-Wish List

Ranked #23,449 in Entertainment, #260,952 overall

A list of things I just don't want.

I spend a lot of time on Amazon.com.  My time is probably split in three parts:  shopping, learning, and listening.  During this time, I have stumbled upon several items that I absolutely do not want.  I have kept track of this list, so that it can be used as a guide for anyone planning to give me a gift.  I think it will also be useful to the general population.

So, if you are planning on getting me something, first check my wish-list, and if you don't want to go with something from that, just make sure it is not on this list.  And, thanks ahead for the gift.  I love it.  It's just what I wanted.

Full Body Leotard

Complete Body Unitard,8999ROYL,Royal,Large

Amazon Price: $67.50 (as of 02/15/2012)Buy Now


Thanks, Mom. But Next time, just stick with a sweater for me, ok?

Things I Don't Want for My Backyard

Okay, lets kick things off with the great outdoors. These are a few items that I do not need for spending time in the backyard.
Loading

Poop Freeze Aerosol Freeze Spray

I think this is unarguable evidence that the end of the world is very near.

Poop Freeze Aerosol Freeze Spray

Amazon Price: $13.20 (as of 02/15/2012)Buy Now

Poop Freeze Aerosol Freeze Spray POOP FREEZE is the first freeze-spray aerosol made for animal waste pick-up. Poop happens- just freeze it! Just frost and toss! Completely non-flammable. Cools surfaces down to 62%uFFFD F. No CFCs to destroy the ozone . Does not harm vegetation and can be used indoors or outdoors.Totally environmentally friendly! Spray and then wait 10 seconds and a white crusty film solidifies the waste. Clean ... easy ... quick ... affordable solution to nasty waste clean-up problems

A few things I just don't want

No thanks.

Loading

Owl Puke

Owl Puke, the Book

Amazon Price: $11.10 (as of 02/15/2012)Buy Now

Yeah, see, here's the thing, owl puke is not something I am particularly interested in. I know everyone has their own THING that they are into, but if your thing is owl puke, then I think you may have some issues to sort out.

Loading

Bully Sticks 12 Inch Chews

12" Bully Sticks Thick Select Single with UPC

Amazon Price: $2.49 (as of 02/15/2012)Buy Now

12-inch beef chews for dogs --- okay.
All natural, no preservatives --- okay.
Hormone and Antibiotic Free --- okay.
Fully digestible --- okay.
Promotes dental health --- okay.
Only one ingredient, bull pizzle --- (gasp) Oh NO NO NO

Things I Don't Want for My Home

Loading

A few more treasures that can be crossed off

Loading

Stuff I Don't Want From eBay

Just in case you prefer the auctions, I don't want this either.

Loading

Quote

We are in the process of creating what deserves to be called the idiot culture. Not an idiot sub-culture, which every society has bubbling beneath the surface and which can provide harmless fun; but the culture itself. For the first time, the weird and the stupid and the coarse are becoming our cultural norm, even our cultural ideal.
~ Carl Bernstein

Things I Don't Wish to Waste My Time On

Loading

Fetus Cookie Cutter

Loading

Bacon Band-Aids

BACON shaped themed Adhesive Bandages

Amazon Price: $1.70 (as of 02/15/2012)Buy Now

"Oh! You cut your finger. You better put a strip of bacon on that!"

UFO Detector

It would ruin the element of surprise.

Loading

The Guardian Angel

(Not a sex toy)

Promotes organ regeneration?!?!?! What organ?!?!?!
It says it eliminates pain, but I suspect it would cause it.
Spring loaded tip for added specific point therapies????? Oooowwwww!!!!

Please don't buy this for me.

Guardian Angel

Amazon Price: (as of 02/15/2012)Buy Now

  • Eliminate Chronic Pain
  • Stimulates 344 points of pressure in the hand
  • Produces the same benefits of traditional acupuncture without a costly visit to the Dr. or the use of needles
  • Relieves fatigue, stress, insomnia
  • Promotes organ regeneration
  • It has a spring loaded tip for added specific point therapies.

Things I Don't Want for My Kids

Now, I just don't think this is necessary. I am certain children can grasp the concept of pooping without graphics and labels involved. And, do we really need to devote more of our children's time with farts? Shouldn't we be teaching them something useful? Won't they learn enough about farts once they get to public school? And, frankly, I don't have it in me to address the Breasts book.

Loading

Knife Set

The Ex 5-Piece Knife Set with Unique Black Holder Designed By Raffaele Iannello

Amazon Price: (as of 02/15/2012)Buy Now



Now, what does this teach the children?

No thanks, I'm not hungry.

Loading

Eternal Cross Nipple Shield

Passion Pink Gem ETERNAL CROSS Dangle Nipple Shield

Amazon Price: $8.99 (as of 02/15/2012)Buy Now


Cross Nipple Shield?
What is it shielding you from...nipple vampires?

Doggie High Chair

Loading

Yodelling Pickle

For me, this is wrong on SO many levels.

Accoutrements Yodelling Pickle

Amazon Price: $6.98 (as of 02/15/2012)Buy Now

ACTUAL DESCRIPTION:
Are you sick and tired of trying to convince a jar of pickles to yodel using melodious mind bullets and sheer force of will? So were we. At last, the Electronic Yodelling Pickle that you have always hoped for! Each 6-1/2" (16.5 cm) long plastic pickle yodels its little heart out at the push of a button. Batteries included.

Uranium Ore

Uranium Ore

Amazon Price: $39.95 (as of 02/15/2012)Buy Now

HOW IS THIS LEGAL?????

More Money than Brains?

If you are considering getting me one of these, I'd just rather the cash. Thanks.
Loading

Betty Color for the Hair Down There

Hair Dye!

You have absolutely got to be kidding me!

Loading

The Eggo Chair...no I'm sorry...The Ergo Chair

Ergo Ball Exercise Wii Erogonomic Office Chair

Amazon Price: $169.00 (as of 02/15/2012)Buy Now


This is a chair. A chair. A chair???

Is it just me? Maybe it's just me that's nuts and the rest of the world is normal? Am I the only one that has never felt the need to sit on an egg? Maybe it's just me....but I don't think so.

Guestbook

What is on your Anti-Wish List?

submit

by

kab

I live; I write; I disregard warning labels. I'm a jack of all trades - ace of only ten or eleven.   Kab's 10 Newest Lenses more »

Feeling creative? Create a Lens!