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Ask an Atheist

From the lens Ask an Atheist.

Do you have a question you'd like to ask about atheism? Feel free to ask. I request that you do not evangelize or simply make statements, please ask a question or leave a relevant comment instead.

All comments containing profanity or hate speech will be removed.

  • Krystal Mar 5, 2012 @ 2:08 pm | delete
    I recently came out of the athiest closet and my highly religous family does not accept my beliefs. My grandmother just died (I was unfortunately not very close to her) and my grandfather is asking that people donate to a religious organisation instead of buying flowers. I live in Europe and am unable (financially) to attend the funeral in USA. I want to show my sympathy to my family in a way that is meanful to them, but I have a very hard time sending money to something that I firmly disagree with. I thought an appropriate alternative would be to send a photo of my grandma in a photo frame with a letter. But perhaps I should look past my beliefs and show my respect to my grandfathers wishes by donating some money ($25 feels a little stingy, but I can't bring myself to donate more than that). Have you or anyone you know encountered such a situation? How can I both show my sympathy while not stepping out of my personal boundaries?
  • Edutopia Jan 30, 2012 @ 12:01 am | delete
    It is unfortunate that an Atheist has to carry around their identity as an Atheist as a piece of luggage that must be unpacked and showed to others. Yet at the same time this can help raise awareness so that Atheists who follow in their footsteps will be able to live a normal life.
  • aquarian_insight Nov 15, 2011 @ 3:06 am | delete
    I am an Atheist. My family are not, neither is my partner. I think they would all agree that I am more well versed on the world's religions than they are. When I became extremely ill with ME/CFS I actually had people suggesting that I wasn't exactly being punished, but that this was a 'test' from God. He had sent me this great pain to help me find salvation. Now, was it just me, or did that make no sense whatsoever? I told them that even if God came before me right now, and proved his existence, I could never support or love anyone that would do something so callous to someone.
  • D (jupiter2011 at gmail dot com) Jul 30, 2011 @ 1:41 pm | delete
    @Diane
    - "Regarding religiosity and abuse, yes, it does happen, but be aware that those who are abusive and disrespectful in the name of religion are not following the laws of Christianity." I don't know what the laws of Christianity really are, but generally I thought I've read that Christianity, Islam, Buddhism, etc essentially have all have similar laws: do good/no harm (with all kinds of exceptions and constraints in between). Does it really take a religion for one to understand that one should do good? I don't know b/c I've already been influenced by Catholicism (but now am agnostic). Better yet, I'd like to hear responses from those people who were never officially or significantly engaged with some religion: do they believe in doing good/causing no harm? if so/not, why/not?
    - "As a Christian, I do not approve of religions that must force their will on anyone and preach hatred against other groups..." What kind of Christian sect do you belong to that doesn't preach hate or force themselves in some manner, whether implicitly or explicitly? I was a Catholic and no, no one explicitly preached hate and no one explicitly proselytized, but we also didn't have dinners with Jews, Atheists or Buddhists and we didn't talk about the good/bad points about those belief systems either. Sounds implicitly forceful to me and I would argue that that kind of behavior can be fuel for hatred.
    - "I believe that God gave us free will, and allows us to grow and improve at our own pace" I believe we have some level of free will, but again, given I was raised Catholic, I'd like to hear responses from unadulterated atheists or from those who have never been officially or significantly engaged with some religion at least with respect to God being the reason why we have free will.
    - "I also believe that no one, nor their beliefs, should be mocked." I believe basically the same thing; do atheists need to believe in a God to also believe such a thing?
    - "Some of your arguments for atheism in regard to religion are really an argument against humanity, and has nothing to do with religion if you really think about it." I disagree. I believe there are nefarious religious zealots who are intent on harming people and to boot in the name of God; so sad, so sad - it is primarily b/c of this kind of egregious behavior that I have begun to seriously question religion and its motives. I, personally, do not intend to harm any person, regardless of religion, or lack of; sure I fail in this simple code; I could potentially inflict harm on some entity who shows real action to inflict physical harm onto my mother or my child.
    - "...at least the Christian religions, are supposed to be about love, but humans often fail. That's why Christian religions are also supposed to be about forgiveness and the effort to do better, but people often fail at that, too." I always thought the great majority of the religions were generally about love and forgiveness - what am I missing here? Still, are atheists exempt or not allowed to feel or impart love and give or accept forgiveness? (I really trying to avoid having to become a religious expert to fully understand each and every religion with respect to each and every situation.)
    - "Another fact, no matter how much progress one social group sees, there will always be a group that is greatly hated. Humans don't progress in that respect, they merely transfer their hatred. It's sad and unfortunate." I could not have said it better. However, b/c I am not a scholar and b/c I don't yet have sufficient data to prove my assertion, I have up until this point kept my theory - similar to yours - quiet, and that theory is: 'People Will Forever Assault Some Entity in Some Way and Even Find a Way Around Some Man-Made Law so That They Could Still Assault That Entity Which is Supposedly Protected by Some Man-Made Law, or If That's Not Possible, Then People Will Just Find Some Other Group or Entity to Assault In Some Way B/C There Could Never Be Enough of Man-Made Laws to Protect Each and Every Group in Every Way All The Time'.

    @Lynn
    - If I were you, I would start researching and questioning your own belief systems and what you were taught. Open your mind; you have a brain, so do use it. And, finally, don't let schooling get in the way of your education - you may have to work on this one to break that unfortunate bond.

    Thank you for tolerating my ignorant/biased/prejudiced/etc person.

    D
    Help me to help you to help us to help this Universe.
    (jupiter2011 at gmail dot com)
  • annel Apr 5, 2011 @ 12:21 am | delete
    Hi, Kylyssa, have you read this very interesting scientific book - "Why God Won't Go Away (NY: Ballantine, 2001) It's explain, or at least hypothesize physiological point of human beliefs.
    By the way, it was funny story about this book. I ordered it from the library and soon after start getting pretty obsessive phone calls from religious organizations. Question about confidentiality aside, it was really funny, because they definitely had no idea what it is all about, following only the title of the book and tried to involve me to their sects :)
  • Diane Braemer Jan 7, 2011 @ 8:28 pm | delete
    Hi, Kylyssa.This is in response to your question about my article, "Is Atheism a New Religion Embracing Bigotry?" On Associated Content, "resources" are not the articles that we use for writing our articles--those are *in* the article. Resources are web sites that we think people should check out on the topic, in this case, atheism. I linked to your web page because it is an example of a NON-bigoted page. It is not filled with hate, but objectivity. In other words, I applaud you article, and I thought that any atheists reading my article should see yours since you lead by good example. :-)

    ______________________________

    Regarding the tax-free status of religions (in your article), they are not tax-free because they are religions, they are tax-free because they are non-profit organizations. Many atheists are quite active in non-profits, and atheists can start a non-profit just like anyone else.

    Regarding religiosity and abuse, yes, it does happen, but be aware that those who are abusive and disrespectful in the name of religion are not following the laws of Christianity. They are human, just like everyone else, and they must deal with their flaws and overcome their potential for wrongdoings, just like everyone else. As a Christian, I do not approve of religions that must force their will on anyone and preach hatred against other groups, and it does happen. I believe that God gave us free will, and allows us to grow and improve at our own pace. I also believe that no one, nor their beliefs, should be mocked. I have atheist friends, and we like each other and treat each other respectfully. That's all that matters. That's how it should be. :-)

    Some of your arguments for atheism in regard to religion are really an argument against humanity, and has nothing to do with religion if you really think about it. Religion is an excuse. It is unfortunate because religion, well at least the Christian religions, are supposed to be about love, but humans often fail. That's why Christian religions are also supposed to be about forgiveness and the effort to do better, but people often fail at that, too.

    Another fact, no matter how much progress one social group sees, there will always be a group that is greatly hated. Humans don't progress in that respect, they merely transfer their hatred. It's sad and unfortunate.

    Best wishes!
  • lynn cooper Aug 7, 2010 @ 10:13 am | delete
    I'm starting to have disbeliefs about God etc...Is this normal or is my up bringing yanking at my on my concience.
  • Kylyssa Aug 7, 2010 @ 11:43 am | delete
    I'd suggest studying whatever religion you belong to to find out what is right for you.
  • c.o. Mar 7, 2010 @ 5:34 pm | delete
    hi i just wanted to ask a ? see i don't belive in god but i belive in goverment or at least laws i'm not sure how to say it. can u be atheist and belive in the law?
  • dannystaple Oct 31, 2010 @ 10:02 am | delete
    c.o. yes you can. If you can believe that it is good to live with people, and to live with people they must respect each other and not cause harm to one another, and you believe that some ground rules are needed to keep some people from causing harm, then you need no god to believe in law.

    Kylyssa - a greta lens as always!
  • nickupton Nov 30, 2009 @ 10:51 pm | delete
    Brilliant lens! I am an atheist too and cannot understand why I would have to follow a set of arbitrary religious dogmas and believe in a God that "acts in mysterious (ridiculous) ways" to be a good person. One can be an atheist and be a caring, helpful, considerate and responsible person - in fact all the things that religions preach.
  • jbauer0318 Nov 30, 2009 @ 10:37 pm | delete
    I thank you very much for this lens and your courage to speak out as an atheist. I too am an atheist, one who until the 2 to 3 years has kept silent about it. I was afraid to let it be known. I have only begun to let others know that I am an atheist and I am still in fear of some finding out. I am facing that fear because it only takes time until those that I fear find out. Keep up the good work Kylyssa, I hope that I can become for vocal in time as you are. Again thank you for your lens, it is favorited and 5 starred.
  • believer Nov 30, 2009 @ 2:10 pm | delete
    I've noticed that many of your pages revolve around two topics: that you are an outspoken atheist, and that you have had a very difficult life including homelessness. Have you ever considered that there may be a connection between the two? Have you ever asked yourself "What if I'm wrong?". I wonder if you gave your life to God whether he would have taken you down the same path. Were you always an atheist? Did you have a bad experience with a church or a clergy member? Do you feel that if there was a God he would have preventing certain things from happening, and so therefore chose to believe He does not exist?
  • zhenyar Nov 13, 2009 @ 11:56 am | delete
    Morality is understood as a certain standard of atheism? And what about the notion - each has its own morality and the degree of conscientiousness. In my opinion, each decides for itself what is good and what is bad. And it does not depend on whether he believes or is an atheist. Everyone in something he believes.
  • Kylyssa Jul 26, 2009 @ 11:17 am | in reply to boshemia | delete
    "What I don't understand is why there is such a focus on morality when what we really need is less morality and more HUMANITY. When one person can watch another suffer, or even cause them to suffer it is not a sign of lack of morality it is a sign of lack of humanity." - Brilliantly put! As humans we should strive to be more humane.
  • boshemia Jul 24, 2009 @ 11:12 pm | delete
    I don't really have a question for you... though not exactly an atheist I am not a believer in any specific faith either. I don't believe in anything anymore but I am open to anything that may want to reveal itself to me (so far still waiting)

    What I don't understand is why there is such a focus on morality when what we really need is less morality and more HUMANITY. When one person can watch another suffer, or even cause them to suffer it is not a sign of lack of morality it is a sign of lack of humanity. Yet many people cause suffering in the name of (insert deity here) and say it is okay, because somehow the people they are hurting are less than human.

    We are all human, and all equal. Religion itself is designed to divide, to separate into groups of us and them and this more than anything I see in the world today saddens me deeply.
  • John Doe Jul 24, 2009 @ 3:39 pm | delete
    How can Atheism account for the existance of morality? I have discovered it cannot.

    To the atheist, morality is dependant on circumstance. But, circumstances are different and can change. Since this is true, then circumstances must contradict one another. Can truth contradict itself? not at all... The relativistic nature of atheist morality makes it false. Either morals are established by a relative standard or an absolute standard. There are no other options. So by proving one is false, the other must be true by default...

    If morality is based on an absolute standard, then they must reflect an absolute Moral Law Giver.

    Please understand that I would never claim that atheist are immoral. I will claim that atheism cannot offer a valid standard to judge whether something is morally good or bad.
  • Tom Jul 13, 2009 @ 3:09 pm | delete
    Thanx for this wonderful article, Kylyssa. I find it amazing that the atheists in the USA always have to justify their non-believes and are treated as social pariahs. I'm so happy to live in a country, where most Christians are extremely decent and don't have problems with atheism and where evangelical Christians are a tiny minority. It is time that the Christians in your country grow up as well. You are doing a fine job to guide them on the right track. Respect!
  • Larry Jul 12, 2009 @ 9:11 pm | in reply to John from OKC | delete
    Go tho this website John. I think you will find it both interesting and enlightening.It is the closet thing I have seen to the truth and the
    best explanation for our origins and I believe it myself 100 percent. I am 69 years old and it has taken me nearly 40 years of my life to realize that I was brainwashed from the beginning of my life with the lie that is religion and god.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=16zeA-c-3vw&feature=channel
  • Cinetech Jul 8, 2009 @ 9:38 pm | delete
    I perceive atheists act (behavior wise) like religious people, in the sense they belong to something. And it feels somehow exclusive. Now, tell me objectively, have you noticed that? Thanks
  • ChapelHillFiddler Jul 8, 2009 @ 9:22 pm | delete
    I think you're brave to be out there discussing this issue. It's so polarizing. My brother told me he's not afraid to die, because he's going to heaven, but he's just sorry that some of the people he loves (looking pointedly at me) will be in hell.
  • John from OKC Jul 1, 2009 @ 3:15 pm | delete
    What was before the Big Bang and what prompted it? Using the Aristotlean prime mover idea I can go back to there ... but then I am stymied. That's why I consider myself an agnostic. But how to atheists look at it/explain it?
  • Kylyssa Jul 1, 2009 @ 10:33 am | in reply to GreenEcoBean | delete
    Again, I'm curious - does it take the same form or is it mostly online? Does it take the form of open job discrimination, vandalism, death threats, verbal and emotional abuse of school children by adult atheists, statements by politicians against Christians, ad campaigns against politicians for associating with Christians, people losing custody of their children for being Christian, or similar such attacks?

    This is a serious question because I live in a very religious area of the country and so I am only exposed to those kind of things committed against atheists and not vice-versa. Surveys have shown that nationwide, at least 91% of Americans have some kind of belief in God, gods, or some other kind of supernatural entities. In West Michigan, I'd guess it's probably closer to 99% of its population that believes in God, gods or other supernatural entities so my experience may be strongly skewed.
  • GreenEcoBean Jun 30, 2009 @ 9:24 pm | delete
    I like that you mentioned atheists attacking religious people, cause I see that just as much as vice versa. It doesn't matter whos right, it matters how much respect you have for someone elses beliefs and their right to have them.
  • Kylyssa Jun 16, 2009 @ 9:59 am | in reply to EverydayMiracles | delete
    I am not familiar with what you are talking about regarding atheist attacks - are you referring to some kind of protests at your church, door to door atheists, or some kind of atheist driven legislation?

    Please tell us about these attacks.
  • EverydayMiracles Jun 11, 2009 @ 2:50 pm | delete
    Kylyssa, I feel that you are the wrong person to ask this question of, but you've opened yourself for it, and I hope you might be able to provide the answer: Why is there a percentage of atheists (growing percentage, it appears) which is hell-bent (no pun intended) on attacking believers and removing from us our right to worship provided that we do it peacefully?

    I try always to see others as I wish to be seen. You have your right to non-belief in the same way I possess a right to belief. Shame on me if I try to interfere with your use of free will! (Something I learned as a pagan, for sure!).

    I hope you don't mind if I add that some "religious" people do not believe that you are sinful and we are not: we (well, I anyway!) believe that we are *all* sinful and immoral and separated from God. Strange how that percentage (sorry, but yes, the majority) of Christians and other theists give the rest of us a bad name!
  • Renee Jun 2, 2009 @ 7:39 pm | delete
    I believe in Nogod. I know Nogod exists and that is why I believe in Nogod. Nogod makes the world the way it is, Nogod decides upon our future and Nogod made it the way it was in the past. Nogod is everything and we must accept Nogod into our lives. Look into the sky and you know, there is Nogod; look at the oceans and you know, there is Nogod. Nogod loves us and through believing in Nogod will find happiness.
  • alexei2ru May 31, 2009 @ 4:56 am | delete
    Hi! Great lens. I think that atheists have more freedom than believers. They cannot be manipulated through religion. They can decide for themselves what's good and what's bad. You don't always need someone to tell you that, however, many of us need guidance, therefore they turn to religion. The problem is the rise in power of religious groups. Inquisition has also started based on hatred towards those who had an open mind and did not accept everything as others. It's one thing to help people follow the teachings of religion and other to manipulate their beliefs, sometimes defying all logic. I think we all have to find our own answers, if not, we would not be human, we would be just mindless followers of "those few who know all the answers".
    I have one question. "Who's more afraid of the other? The atheist or the believer?"
  • GabrielGadfly May 30, 2009 @ 6:52 pm | delete
    Do you think that atheists who go out of their way to attack religious people have given the rest of the atheist population a bad reputation? What are some ways that atheists can work to reverse that reputation?
  • Kylyssa May 30, 2009 @ 5:04 pm | delete
    I'm starting things off with two questions I was asked again recently by people offline, "Why do Atheists care about religion if they don't believe it themselves?" and "What's up with the big red A?"

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Kylyssa

Kylyssa Shay is an atheist and an American citizen. To further understanding and to build tolerance toward atheists, agnostics, and other non-Christians... more »

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