Entertainment
Horoscope Highjinks: Astrology Humor
(by 4 people)
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"Life is much too important to be taken seriously" - Oscar Wilde (...and so is a Horoscope!)
Come and laugh with us, or at us. We don't really care which, as long as everyone is having a good time!
This is a work in progress!
Please be sure to come back again and see what else shows up to send you into glactic giddiness.
How many "____" does it take to change a light bulb?
The classic lightbulb joke - with an astrological twist!
Just one. You want to make something of it?
Taurus:
One, but just "try" to convince them that the burned-out bulb is useless and should be thrown away.
Gemini:
Two, but the job never gets done - they just keep arguing about who is supposed to do it and how it's supposed to be done!
Cancer:
Just one. But it takes a therapist three years to help them through the grief process.
Leo:
Leos don't change light bulbs, although sometimes their agent will get a Virgo to do the job for them while they're out.
Virgo: Approximately 1.0000000 with an error of +/- 1 millionth.
Libra:
Er, two. Or maybe one. No - on second thought, make that two. Is that okay with you?
Scorpio:
That information is strictly secret and shared only with the Enlightened Ones in the Star Chamber of the Ancient Hierarchical Order.
Sagittarius:
The sun is shining, the day is young and we've got our whole lives ahead of us, and you're inside worrying about a stupid light bulb?
Capricorn:
I don't waste my time with these childish jokes.
Aquarius:
Well, you have to remember that everything is energy, so...
Pisces:
Lightbulb? What lightbulb?
More versions of this joke in the "Links to Laughter" section below.
Bad Bosses, Difficult Co-Workers and More
Plus: Astrology Cartoons, the Zodiac, Texas style and cheeky book on Chinese Star Signs.
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Bosstrology: The Twelve Bastard Bosses of the Zodiac
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Amazon Price: (as of 07/26/2008)
You're Not a Person - Just a Birth Chart: The Astrological Cartoon Humour of Paul F. Newman
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Amazon Price: $11.00 (as of 07/26/2008)
Lone Star Zodiac
Texas is a "whole other country" with its very own Zodiac...
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Amazon Price: $5.95 (as of 07/26/2008)
Snarling Tiger, Dirty Rat: A Short and Nasty Guide to Embracing Your Inner Beast
Chinese Astrology - Hot & Sour!
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Amazon Price: (as of 07/26/2008)
Planetary Cat & Mouse
Cat Earth tries to eat Mouse Moon! Funny Planetary T-Shirts
A little Astronomy humor...
Pluto is a Planet Uranus Organic Cotton Tee
"Pull your head out of Uranus- Pluto is a planet!"
Price: 21.99
Start Protecting URANUS! Dark T-Shirt
First they kicked out Pluto...is Uranus next?
(Choice of 4 colors)
Price: 22.50
"That's Your Horoscope For Today"
Need I say more?
Oh, yeah- animation by Nathan Malone.
If you can't see the video here, or for A BETTER RESOLUTION AND COORDINATION OF MUSIC & GRAPHICS -
USE THE LINK IN THE "Links to Laughter" SECTION.
Humorous Astrology Books
Secrets From a Stargazer's Notebook: Making Astrology Work for You
One of my favorite all-time astrology books. Great for a beginner or an advanced professional. Brilliantly funny- always an enjoyable read!
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Amazon Price: (as of 07/26/2008)
Astrologically Incorrect: Unlock the Secrets of the Signs to Get What You Want When You Want!
Top-Secret insider info! Don't let your Boss/Boyfriend/Girlfriend/Husband/Wife/In-Laws see this!
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Amazon Price: $8.76 (as of 07/26/2008)
Born on a Rotten Day: Illuminating and Coping with the Dark Side of the Zodiac
Think you're screwed from birth? Maybe not...! turn your scars into stars!
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Amazon Price: $10.36 (as of 07/26/2008)
Darkside Zodiac
Every sign has a dark side. Best book a few sessions with your shrink before reading about your own sign.
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Amazon Price: $13.57 (as of 07/26/2008)
It's Happy Bunny: What's Your Sign? (It's Happy Bunny)
Astrology Lampoon from the "It's Happy Bunny" series.
HILARIOUS! Only one mistake: in the Sagittarius Chapter, it says that Pluto is the ruling planet, that is wrong! It is actually Jupiter.
Avg. Customer Rating:
Amazon Price: $7.99 (as of 07/26/2008)
Links to Laughter
- VIDEO: That's Your Horoscope for Today
- Albino Black Sheep site.
This site has much better graphic resolution & coordination of the video to music for Weird Al's song, though you can't post or view any comments here like on YouTube! Clearly Weird Al knows his Astrology well enough to really poke fun at the sun signs... - Light Bulb Jokes and the Zodiac Signs
- How many (insert sign here) does it take to change a light bulb? Find out here!
- Zodiac Signs behind the Wheel
- Signs and the cars they drive.
- Snore Signs
- How do they snore when asleep?
- Born to Shop
- How do the 12 signs shop?
- Ticklish?
- 12 Styles of tickling - or being tickled!
- Steven Forrest's Astrology Humor Page
- How the Twelve Signs Deal with Near Death Experiences....More Lightbulb Jokes....After Sex Comments by Sun Sign....Kosh Quotes for the 12 Signs of the Zodiac!....SUN SIGN PRAYERS JUST FOR FUN....and....Which pet would go best with each sign?
Funny and Amusingly Written Relationship Astrololgy Books
Horoscopes for relationships of all kinds.
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Love on a Rotten Day: An Astrological Survival Guide to Romance
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Amazon Price: $9.60 (as of 07/26/2008)
How to Spot a Bastard by His Star Sign: The Ultimate Horrorscope
Yes, Bastards are available in 12 flavors. Take your pick! Each sign has its own special "brand" of bastardism.
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Amazon Price: $10.36 (as of 07/26/2008)
Astrologically Incorrect For Lovers: Slightly Wicked Advice for Seducing Any Sign of the Zodiac
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Amazon Price: $11.01 (as of 07/26/2008)
Gay Astrology: The Complete Relationship Guide for Gay Men
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Amazon Price: $11.16 (as of 07/26/2008)
What do you think?
And, hey, don't forget to "rank by the stars" at the top - thanks!
Galactic Giddiness Guestbook
Before you go, if you don't mind touching the stars at the top to rate this lens, I'd be mighty grateful!
Thanks for stopping by!
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quippingqueen
Love your lens...almost makes me think about writing my own "Zodiac Zonkers". Tah tah and pip pip from HRH-QQ -- http://www.squidoo.com/quippingqueen Posted July 10, 2007 |
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Margaret_Schaut
What a great Carl Sagan Tee! Posted December 26, 2006 |
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Look who made this lens!
KCStargazer
I began my adventures into space as a wee one- poring over photographs of space in gazetteers taller than myself, trying to make sense of the print on the page and&n...
moreWhat's here
- How many "____" does it take to change a light bulb?
- Bad Bosses, Difficult Co-Workers and More
- Planetary Cat & Mouse
- Funny Planetary T-Shirts
- "That's Your Horoscope For Today"
- More...
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