Autism: Facing the Diagnosis

My husband and I were blessed with the birth of our son, nine years ago. Since he was our first child, we marveled at each mile stone. As time passed, things slowly but surely changed in various ways. Mile stones that should have been reached were not and regression of acquired skills was becoming the basis of strong concerns.

On his first yearly check up, I shared the following concerns with our family doctor: he did not walk yet, and he had lost the use of a few words that belonged to his vocabulary. Instead of playing appropriately with toys, he was lining them up, etc. The doctor explained to me that each child was developing at their own pace and that boys were especially known to reach mile stones later than girls. She also explained that we should give him another year before we should express any concerns with his development.

It was a month prior to his yearly check up and a few weeks before his third birthday when something occurred that would set the tone for the years to come. I was at the park with my son, enjoying the wading pool. He was imitating the gestures of a young boy, representing play by his standards. Most people would call it: parallel play. I was having a light conversation with the boy's mother when she made an observation that rocked me to the core.

"Did you ever consider the fact that your son may have Autism? I have been working with autistic children in the past, and as I was observing your son, I have also noticed the tell-tale signs." My reaction came from the heart of a loving mother. I stood up, turned around, picked up our belongings and got my son out of the water.

I then turned around towards the woman as I was adding the finishing touches as we were getting ready to leave and said to her: "My son is not to be labeled by anyone, especially a stranger! He may not have the same abilities and skills than your son but that does not make him autistic!" Little did I know that it would lead us, as a family through a long and difficult journey.

During the second year check up, the same concerns were mentioned as well as irrational fits, the fact that he was doing the parallel play with other children instead of interacting with them and his diet was becoming a nightmare. Every day he would eat the same foods over and over then later, they would be barred from his diet. He had started to develop some hypersensitive issues such as texture, clothing, foods, noises, etc.

Nights were now a nightmare as he would wake up five or six times a night, staying awake for long periods of time, waking us up, causing us to become sleep deprived. And to top it off, he was having some difficulty to to the arrival of his little sister. Her cries were especially difficult for him to tolerate as the sound level was too high pitch for him. Again, the doctor recommended to wait another year before referring him for evaluation.

During the yearly check up that followed, things got worse. My son was referred for evaluation as his developmental delay was the source of genuine concerns. In December 2003, as I was sitting with the doctor, observing my son lining up toys, the doctor shared the results of her evaluation. Tears were streaming down my cheeks as she officially diagnosed him with Autism.

I felt so unprepared to deal with such diagnosis as I also considered myself ignorant on the subject. In the moments that followed, an appointment for a meeting that would occur at home the following Monday in order to fill important forms to obtain services for our son and receive a crash course on Autism.

By the time these ladies left, my husband and I felt overwhelmed and lost. It was the beginning of a mourning of our son's future as all that he could have become was put on hold...indefinitely. My mourning lasted six months, which I am not proud to say as delay the acceptance of his situation did not help him in any way.

During this difficult time, things got worse as my daughter was declared developmentally delayed. The roller coaster of tests that followed rocked us to the core as her pediatrician suggested out loud the possible diagnosis of Multiple Sclerosis and Cerebral Palsy. Like her brother, she was referred to a Child Development Worker which helped both to develop interactive play.

Gradually, my husband and I noticed some of the tell-tale signs in my daughter that resembled my son's. As we shared these concerns with their worker, we decided to ask her family doctor to refer her for evaluation. She was also diagnosed with Autism in July 2005.

Although our daughter was on the lighter side of the spectrum, contrary to our son, which was diagnosed with moderate to severe Autism, I must say that facing the diagnosis was not as traumatic as the first time as we were more knowledgeable on the subject, and we knew what to look for and what to expect in the future.

As the years passed, my husband and I have become "experts" (as the doctors say) on the subject of Autism, as far as our children are concerned. We feel well-equipped in comparison to when our son was first diagnosed with this social disorder.

Although various challenges have crossed our path and will be part of the future as well, we will NEVER forget the initial shock of the diagnosis as it is responsible for us seeking the information and the help needed to provide the appropriate care for both our children.

One thing is certain, regardless of their special needs, we love them as they are and the only important thing for us is to ensure they live a full and happy life. If you wish to learn more about this disorder, I invite you to visit this website on Autism or to visit this blog if you want to learn more about Autism symptoms.