Avoid Divorce: An Introduction
Every happy couple hits rough spots in their marriage, but if you are considering divorce it is probably due to deep seated, recurring problems.
There are many reasons to avoid divorce - you might have children, religious reasons, or simply want to rekindle the amazing feelings you and your spouse once had for each other.
Saving a marriage is not an easy process but the rewards are great when you can re-find the one you loved and avoid the nasty process of divorce.
There are many reasons to avoid divorce - you might have children, religious reasons, or simply want to rekindle the amazing feelings you and your spouse once had for each other.
Saving a marriage is not an easy process but the rewards are great when you can re-find the one you loved and avoid the nasty process of divorce.
How Will Understanding Yourself Help you Avoid Divorce?
The first step in saving your marriage is to understand yourself - why are you unhappy and why are you considering divorce in the first place. Try to pinpoint the cause of your unhappiness, find common themes and do not get caught up in specifics.
If you find yourself getting too angry or upset put aside the task for a while and come back to it. The goal here is to avoid divorce - not make a list of your partner's failings. Another task you can try is listing things you value in your partner, things you miss from the good old days, and things you would like to see again.
If you find yourself getting too angry or upset put aside the task for a while and come back to it. The goal here is to avoid divorce - not make a list of your partner's failings. Another task you can try is listing things you value in your partner, things you miss from the good old days, and things you would like to see again.
Can you Avoid Divorce with A Little Empathy?
Now that you understand your side of the picture, try to see things from your partner's point of view. Developing empathy for your partner is key when trying to avoid divorce. Allow yourself to think about how you contribute to problems and what your role has been in disputes. Be honest with yourself and do not get defensive. In becoming more aware of your actions you may become less critical of your partner's. Think about what your partner would like and try doing something nice for him or her.
Communicate Better to Create a Lasting Marriage
Often the reason for a crumbling marriage is a lack of communication.
If you and your partner cannot calmly discuss your problems it will be difficult to resolve them. Marriage is about compromises and a discussion about those compromises might shed light on some of your problems. Perhaps one of you feels that he or she has compromised too much and is not getting enough back.
You should both agree that you want to avoid divorce - and if you don't want to verbalize it that way - at least acknowledge there are problems that you are both willing to address.
If you and your partner cannot calmly discuss your problems it will be difficult to resolve them. Marriage is about compromises and a discussion about those compromises might shed light on some of your problems. Perhaps one of you feels that he or she has compromised too much and is not getting enough back.
You should both agree that you want to avoid divorce - and if you don't want to verbalize it that way - at least acknowledge there are problems that you are both willing to address.
Avoid Divorce by Picking Your Fights Well
Next time your partner does something that angers you, consider if it's an issue you are ready to risk your marriage over. Think about how often you blow up at your partner over little things. If something is bothering you, wait until your anger has passed and try to address it with your partner in a calm fashion. If you want to avoid divorce you will have to learn to let some things slide and how to calmly address the big issues.
How Can Others Help You Avoid Divorce?
It often helps to talk about your problems with an outside party who can be more objective about the situation. This can be a friend, a religious leader you trust, or other happy couples. If your problems seem insurmountable you might want to try going to a marriage counselor in order to avoid divorce.
It is often difficult to ask for help but it can be an important step in saving your marriage. A counselor can help you and your partner communicate more effectively and divert your energy from anger into more productive channels.
It is often difficult to ask for help but it can be an important step in saving your marriage. A counselor can help you and your partner communicate more effectively and divert your energy from anger into more productive channels.
Remember Not to Give Up
If you are trying to avoid divorce then you have already thought of reasons to stay with your partner. Divorce has a sense of finality to it and cannot be entered into lightly. If you are a victim of abuse then you must find a safe place for you and your children. If the problem is a breakdown in communication or general unhappiness, there is still hope and you can regain what you have lost.
Here's my favorite link:
by FixMarriage
Been there, done that... and succeed! Thanks to FixMarriage.org - now it's YOUR turn! (more)
