Good Bets for Bedwetters (and their families)

The first thing you need to know if Junior wets the bed is that your child has plenty of company! Regular bedwetters include:

* 20% of five-year olds

* 10% of nine-year olds

* 2% of teens

* 1% of adults

The figures vary from source to source, so these percentages are just rough averages. Nonetheless, they should help parents to realize that neither they nor their children are failures at potty-training.

And yes, it's true, boys outnumber the girls.

Experts differ in their opinions as to what causes bedwetting:

-It could just be the result of a small or immature bladder.

- For some children it might be a physical problem such as a kidney or bladder disorder, but these can be easily diagnosed and treated by a physician.

-Bedwetting may be caused by a sleep disorder; The child sleeps so deeply - like my Cupcake - that they do not get the message from their bladder when it says, "NOW!"

-Some chiropractors assert that a spinal misalignment is to blame. The nerves signals from the bladder to the brain are blocked or weakened by this misalignment. When the child is awake and alert, he still feels the weakened urges, but when sleep kicks in, he doesn't perceive the messages.

-There are some who postulate that food sensitivities or allergies are to blame.

-It's possibly genetic. According to Dr. Alan Greene, "If both parents were bed-wetters, 77% of their children will be. If only one parent was, 44% of their offspring will. If neither parent wet the bed, only about 15% of their children will wet the bed. With primary nocturnal enuresis one almost always finds another relative who was a bed wetter."

-Drinking too many liquids. In the push to keep our children hydrated during sports, we may be encouraging them to drink TOO much water. An adult should drink 64 ounces of water per day (more, if exercising) but a a 50-pound child can stay well-hydrated on less.

**NOTE** Sudden bedwetting in a child who was habitually dry could also signal a urinary tract or bladder infection, the onset of diabetes or a response to severe stress such as physical/sexual abuse, a family break-up, a new sibling, or moving. Consequently, sudden bedwetting ALWAYS indicates a need for help: a trip to the pediatrician and lots of extra comfort and reassurance.

********
If your child is still wetting the bed by the time they are of school age, it would be prudent to have them checked by a physician just to make sure the problem is not an easily remedied physical problem.

The cure, of course, depends entirely on the cause! So let's go over those and add in the suggested remedies as we go.
**********
- A small or immature bladder: Usually, the bladder and control increase with age. So buy those Goodnights and wait it out.

- A physical problem such as a kidney or bladder disorder or a malformation of some part of the urinary tract: These, of course, have to be diagnosed and treated by a physician.

-Sudden bedwetting in a child who did not habitually wet before indicates a need to see the doctor. Whether due to a urinary tract infection, or diabetes your child will require a physician's diagnosis and treatment.

- Emotional Trauma from physical/sexual abuse or sudden changes in lifestyle can also cause sudden bedwetting. Again, See a doctor as soon as possible. Loving support and reassurance at home is required and, if the problem persists, PLEASE get your child some gentle counseling from an expert.

-Deep sleepers: There are three schools of thought here:

1. Wait it out. When they hit pre-puberty/puberty the hormone changes will cause them to sleep less soundly and the problem will be solved.

2. Buy an alarm. The alarm connects securely to the child's undies and goes off as soon as they release even a few drops of urine. This trains them to wake up when their bladder syas, "It's time to go!" Training can take 1-4 months.

3. Call in a sleep expert to counsel with your child. This is especially beneficial for older children - preteens, teens, and even young adults.

-Spinal misalignment: See a chiropractor that does pediatric adjustments.

-Food sensitivities or allergies: Offenders may include dairy products, chocolate and caffeinated beverages, carbonated sodas, nuts, soy, corn, eggs, citrus, wheat. If you suspect that one or more of these foods may be triggering the problem, consult a nutritionist for how to safely conduct an elimination diet.

-Some doctors recommend medications (DDAVP and Tofranil as well as Ditropan and Levsin), but unless there is an underlying medical problem that REQUIRES medication, this should be a last resort. Remember, most drugs have undesirable side effects!

-You could try herbal or homeopathic remedies. Check with your naturopath for recommendations.

-Too many fluids: Have them try drinking a bit less, especially in the evenings.

While your particular bedwetter may not be wetting because they're upset, they may very well be upset because they wet. What can you, as a parent, do help your child feel good about his or her self?

1. Do NOT punish, chastise, berate, or embarass your child for wetting the bed. It is the very rare child who wets "on purpose", and a child who does needs love and support and counsel, not censure.

*Personal Note: I once wet the bed on purpose when I was six. My dad had been in an accident out of state and I was staying with my Aunt and Uncle. I was homesick and mad at my cousin, so I wet the bed and then rolled him into it ;-) It was the only time I ever wet the bed.

2. Reassure your child that he is perfectly normal and then MANY children his age also wet the bed.

3. Make life simple. Buy GoodNites and use them. My own attitude was much improved when I no longer had to wash bedding on a daily basis. That made it much easier for me to not get angry or irritated with Cupcake for the extra work.

4. It's perfectly acceptable to have your child help clean up, as long as you are NOT approaching it as a punishment. Cupcake considers her morning clean-up on par with making her bed or brushing her teeth.

5. If your child is 6 or older and/or is unduly upset and embarassed by their bedwetting then please DO seek treatment for them. It may be that one of the treatments mentioned above may take them over the hump.

6. If a treatment doesn't work, be supportive and encouraging and by all means, get a different doctor or try another approach. The older your child gets, the more humiliating the condition will be. So don't give up!

7. Check out the websites listed in this lens. They are full of helpful and encouraging info that will help both you and your child.

After over nine years of bedwetting, our Cupcake has finally stopped. We took the "she'll grow out of it" stance and it paid off. Six weeks ago we noticed that she was waking up dry most mornings, so we set aside our trusty pack of Good-Nites and let her sleep in panties. She's only had 3 wet nights and each time she woke up immediately. This is significant because in the past she would just sleep right on through being wet.

Now she is getting up on her own in the early morning, using the bathroom and going back to bed. She's still not 100%, but she's SO close and we're all excited and relieved. We're so confident in her new found self-control that we are going on a long road trip a couple of weeks from now and have no plans to take any Good-Nites with us. We feel sure that sleeping in hotels will disrupt her sleep just enough to keep her from wetting in the hotel beds.

I might add here that though she is only 9 years old, she is clearly pre-pubescent. I had always heard that hormones would change her sleep patterns, now I'm seeing the proof of that.

So folks, there IS hope! If wetting is an issue with your child then please see a doctor to make sure there is no physical reason for their bedwetting. Then, if there isn't, just wait it out. There IS a light at the end of the tunnel!