Best Man Speeches: Guide to Writing Well

Planning Stage:

This is an important part of the speech although it requires no actual writing. The planning stage of all Best Man speeches will give you ideas on how to develop the actual speech. Begin by identifying what type of speech you plan to write, such as humorous, serious, combination of both. Then continue by mapping out the Groom's personality. Best Man speeches are personalized in the sense that they will convey all the great and funny attributes of the Groom and possibly the Bride. The basis of your speech will come from memories and the personality traits that you identify with the Groom. You will need all the traits to commend him on and know that you care about your role as the Best Man.

If you have the planning done, it is time to inject some humor. There are two main types of jokes you need to know about. The first type of joke is a short joke or a one-liner. A short joke is best inserted at the beginning of the Best Man speech. It will soften the mood and pave the way for you to enter a mood of sentimentality. The second type of joke is a long drawn out one, like a riddle or just a funny story. Generally reserve these long types for the middle or end, after you have captured everyone's attention.

A very important part of the speech is determining the overall theme. This will depend drastically on how you planned your Best Man speech. If your Groom is very serious and emotional, try going with a speech theme that is very heart warming and compassionate. Talk about his successes in life and how this marriage is the perfect decision. Talk about your own feelings about weddings, this wedding, the relationship, how being the Best Man has changed your life, and more serious topics. If, on the other hand, the Groom is more comical and cares little about the serious stuff, fire away with jokes and humor. Look for ways to show the audience you care about being the Best Man but also are enjoying the time on the floor, being the center of attention. Some common themes are trust, loyalty, friendship, growth, maturity, family and of course love.

Now all the planning is finished, its time to write the dang speech already. Here are a lot of pointers to actually writing the content. First, don't use big words at all. You may be a Harvard grad, but this does not mean the audience wants to hear how well you know the dictionary. Many Best Men make the mistake of trying to sound formal and elegant, when they should instead sound confident in their own voice and speak so people will understand their speech in a short amount of time. Keep your sentences of moderate length and keep away from choppy paragraphs or sentences which are a few words long and meant to be repeated. As for the overall length, keep the speech under 6 or 7 minutes, people do want to get on with the wedding, no matter how fantastic you believe your speech to be, its just the honest truth.

Head on over to BestManSpeeches.net to learn some great secrets. Here are some do's and don'ts of your Best Man speech:

Do:

Be sincere but not too serious, don't look forced. Practice your speech many times before. You need not memorize it, but your readings off Que cards should not look like its the first time. Make the Groom & Bride feel special, it is their day, not yours. Give eye contact to the audience, no one will believe you if you are glued to the cards. Smile, this is a great sign of confidence and people will understand it is fine to be a little nervous.

Don't:

Be known as the guy who wrote one of the worst Best Man speeches of all time, you need to take your job seriously. Use controversial topics in your speech or bad and painful memories, despite how funny they may be, you need to draw the line somewhere. Spend too much time talking about yourself, it is not your wedding! Write the speech like a middle school essay, with 5 paragraphs and a conclusion, you are older now, so write a speech that looks professional and mature, with blended paragraphs.

1) Lack of eye contact. Make sure to give enough attention to your audience with direct eye contact. Don't look directly at their eyes, instead look slightly above their eyebrows at their forehead. That way you won't look like you are glaring

2) Lots of pauses. Try to avoid frequent stops in your speech. You may be a little nervous, but it doesn't help if you keep stopping to catch your breath. All those pauses create awkward silences and you lose your momentum from your killer joke you said a minute ago.

3) Not laughing. You should have fun with your Best Man speech. If you don't think you are funny, how can anyone else believe you are funny?

4) Not smiling. You need to smile a lot. Look like you are confident and prepared and you know what you are doing. A smile may also hide the fact you are really nervous, drawing attention away from negative aspects of your presentation.

5) Not ending on a sentimental note. Everyone is use to hearing the jokes and the fun stuff of the speech, but you must remember a wedding is a serious emotional matter, and you need to pay your respect. Don't end your speech with a bathroom gag. Try to make your conclusion something that is optimistic and heartwarming. A line that will make the Bride and Groom proud of your speech.

6) Using bad words. Even if you are quoting a hilarious camp story, don't use bad language. You can never forget the age of the audience and the speech needs to be appropriate for everyone. Avoid the lowbrow!

7) Poor dress. Before you even write your speech, let alone perform it in front of a live audience, make sure your tuxedo fits properly. If you are not purchasing your own tuxedo, at least rent a classic style. Black (unless the theme is colored) with peak lapels, no cummerbund, and a single button on the jacket. Avoid colored bow ties and make sure your shoes are polished calf leather.

8) No haircut. Get a haircut a week before the wedding. Don't show up like Shaggy from Scooby-Doo. Look professional, you would want your Best Man to look the same way if it was your wedding, right?

9) Taking too long. If you are speaking really slow on the big day, cut it off after six minutes. Any longer and you risk being taken for an arrogant speaker who wants attention.

10) Not thanking the wedding. It's an honor to be given time for a speech, make sure to pay your respect to everyone for allowing them to let you have your say.

Take some time before throwing down a couple hundred dollars to have a professional speech writer fashion your Best Man speech for the wedding. I would advise to write up a rough draft with ideas and certain stories you want to use, and he or she can then fluff it up with some extra humor and other tricks to make it very appealing. A paid speech writer cannot read your mind, so it pays to talk to them for a bit and describe exactly the speech you want them to write. Make sure to emphasize if you want a funny speech or a more emotionally heartwarming writeup that will woo the crowd and melt their hearts.

Some other tips: Don't pay more than a few hundred, try to get a cheap speech. After all, you can just write the Best Man speech yourself if you spent a little time at it. Once you have a draft from the writer, read it over before paying. Make them do the edits so you get exactly what you paid for, because they might rush you to try to get their money first.