Bipolar Endangerment To Others Around

As we joked when our children were growing up, we hoped for David and Ricky BUT got Beavis and Butthead!

Our oldest always was the pouter, the youngest the happy go lucky, joking and everything running off his back type person.

We spent a great deal of time with our 2 boys, taking them camping one weekend a month and 2 weeks twice a year also taking them to Disneyland, Magic Mountain, Knott's Berry Farm, Sea World, the zoo and many other places. Allowing them to bring their friends because their parents were too busy with working. So many times a year that they were sick of it! They were included in most sports in and out of schools, music and friends by the loads. We cut our own Christmas trees up north and made big family events for all holidays. My wife had them make at least 1 present by themself for each relative, showing them it's the thought that counts. Anyone can give people money or store brought gifts. We would have long family talks, sit down dinners. Still the oldest would pout. Nothing was fun for him at first. He would finally come around and have a little good time and then back to his sulky ways.

Our oldest started taking things when he was barely walking. Around 5 he stole from a friend of my wife's mother, when she came to visit us in Las Vegas. She had gone to a casino and came home with a bucket of nickels, when we found them in his room he said he "Hit A Jackpot at the 7 11". This was when he was not even allowed out of our yard!

He really started showing bigger problems before he was 7 when he would turn us into the school, telling the school we had no food. We kept 6 months or more of food in the pantry, 2 refrigerators, 1 full size freezer stocked. We found he brought candy with the money we gave him for lunch, so we brought him a lunch pass. The lunch pass would get stolen or some story he came up with, so we gave him a sack lunch and this went on and on. We were investigated 5 times or so for this and found there was plenty of food at home, and YES, he would have someone else say they were him to get his lunch pass. Very Tricky even at a young age!

After that he seemed to steam roll with lies and stealing everything. We tried everything from talking and explaining what he was doing and made him stay in his room to think about it. The early years he would climb out his window, later years the other children climbed in his window. We tried to explain to him, how he would like it if someone stole from him. Did not phase him one bit! He would talk all the children in the neighbor out of their toys. We made him give them back.

For a number of years he told people he was adopted and his real name was "Tom". We tried to explain this hurt us. Finally we decided to let him play it out. He would get really mad when his friends would say "Your Parents Aren't So Bad!" Throwing him into a rant and rage. He would tell friends that "His Parents Did Not Like Them", then when they would show up at our door he would stand behind us and say in a low whispter "I don't like them, make them leave". We told him they where his friends, you tell them. Again this through him in a rage!

His teen years really got bad, we think that was when the drugs and drinking started to compound itself. At 15 he started running away from home when we tried to make him go on family outings. We searched and got him back. Once he turned us in for "Sexual, Physical and Emotional Abused." By now we had it. We were brought to the police department and told of all this. All our friends, his friends and family members were in shock! He would steal from everyone, even his closest friends. You could not take a shower without finding he had snuck into our bedroom or even our bathroom and steal from our pant pockets.

Finally he told us his friends meant more than his family, we gave him a quarter to call his friends.

We pushed and forced him to at least graduate high school. Our family doctor said there was nothing but being spoiled wrong with him, but we took him to the mental health. They informed us after many tests, he was acting out. If he could not get what HE wanted he could go one step further. Whatever it would take!

He would leave our home and come back to live in short burst. Would not keep a job. Get fired from many jobs on the first day. He would call in sick, even on his first day with the "Budweiser Flu" when he had been out celebrating getting a job the night before. His best line is "I'm Not Going To Work To Pay Bills!"

He had/has many girlfriends which we supported. So many things I could not list but the bottom line he started having loaded guns in his room. We would hear shots fired outside and he was gone. We found out there was "Drive By's" he was connected to. He would hide in his back bedroom putting us at arms way with our bedrooms in the front of the house!

Finally we told him, it would cost him $10 a week to stay in our home, he was in his 20's then. He told us he was not going to pay to live in our home. He left and lived at friends and girls homes, telling them all kinds of "Poor Me" stories.

There is a really bad story I will tell you in a later chapter. This made our jaws drop!

Now getting close to his 40's and all his bad relationships lists on forever. With barely any friends left from school, he decided to call us right before we were getting ready to retire and leave town.

As you can see I have retired early after working over 32 years, never missing a day or late. Worked over 6 years before that at a different job, also never missed a day or late. My wife of over 38 years and I decided to travel and see the country as Camp Host. We don't have any connection with our grandchildren because of our oldest. He would call us up in the middle of the night with the strangeness stories that we beat, don't feed and etc. our grandchild. We barely have any connection with this grandchild due to the violent clashes between the mothers and him. Again, We Never Treated Our Grandchild Bad. He Loved Us and We Love Him! His other daughter we have never seen even through we supported the mother so she could graduate and through the pregancy. So we closed that door.

Our youngest has no children.

Without knowing it was him calling, I picked up the phone and our oldest was yelling about "Blowing Us Up and Killing Us". I had enough, I hung up the phone. It seems he watches the house because when we return, the phone rings a couple of days after we return to town and catches us by surprise. He yells about killing us, blowing the house up and all kinds of bad things we have done to him. None of the things are true and most we can't think where he even got such ideas, made up in his mind from who knows what! We have him yelling and ranting on the phone recorder, threatening all of the family!

What Road Should Families Take? It's sad to have a child that grows up like this. We love him just as much as any of our family. But do we put ourself and others in arms way when now society has come up with Bipolar?

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