Blue Collar Comedy Tour

The Halloween pumpkin on your front porch has more teeth than your spouse.

You let your twelve-year-old daughter smoke at the table in front of her kids.

You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws.

You think a woman who is "out of your league" bowls on a different night.

Jack Daniel's makes your list of "Most Admired People."

You think Genitalia is an Italian airline.

You wonder how gas stations keep their restrooms so clean.

Someone in your family died right after saying "Hey, y'all watch this!"

Your Junior / Senior prom had a daycare.

You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right off its wheels.

The bluebook value of your truck goes up and down, depending on how much gas is in it.

Ya' can't git married to yer sweetheart 'cause there's a dang law against it.

You think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife drunk.

Your toilet paper has page numbers on it.

"You Might be a Redneck if" A collection of trailer trash jokes & real life pictures of redneck ways of life!

Redneck Jokes Book


Just "right mouse button click" on the link above, then select "save target as" from the window that appears, to download these safe .pdf books to your desktop..

Get your free self help book of Humor here...

Just "right mouse button click" on the links below, then select "save target as" from the window that appears, to download the book to your desktop..





"Have a Laugh on Us!" Volume 1 of our free jokes books to download with family friendly clean humour





New Release! "Have a Laugh on Us!"Volume 2 of our free jokes books to download with family friendly clean humour





"How to Please your IT Department!"This book has collected some of the best IT & Service Desk jokes along with general computer humour stories to keep all of infotech dyslexics laughing.
Computer Idiots Humour

How do these people survive?

ONE

Recently, when I went to McDonald's I saw on the menu that you could have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets. I asked for a half dozen nuggets. "We don't have half dozen nuggets," said the teenager at the counter. "You don't?" I replied. "We only have six, nine, or twelve," was the reply. "So I can't order a half dozen nuggets, but I can order six?" "That's right." So I shook my head and ordered six McNuggets

TWO

I was checking out at the local Wal-Mart with just a few items and
the lady behind me put her things on the belt close to mine. I
picked up one of those "dividers" that they keep by the cash
register and placed it between our things so they wouldn't get
mixed. After the girl had scanned all of my items, she picked up
the "divider", looking it all over for the bar code so she could
scan i t. Not finding the bar code she said to me, "Do you know
how much this is?" I said to her "I've changed my mind, I don't
think I'll buy that today." She said "OK," and I paid her for the
things and left. She had no clue to what had just happened.

THREE

A lady at work was seen putting a credit card into her floppy
drive and pulling it out very quickly. When I inquired as to what
she was doing, she said she was shopping on the Internet and they
kept asking for a credit card number, so she was using the ATM
"thingy."

FOUR

I recentl y saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car.
"Do you need some help?" I asked. She replied, "I knew I should
have replaced the battery to this remote door unlocker. Now I
can't get into my car. Do you think they (pointing to a distant
convenience s tore) would have a battery to fit this?" "Hmmm, I
dunno. Do you have an alarm, too?" I asked. "No, just this remote
thingy," she answered, handing it and the car keys to me. As I
took the key and manually unlocked the door, I replied, "Why don't
you drive over there and check about the batteries. It's a long
walk."

FIVE

Several years ago, we had an Intern who was none too swift. One
day she was typing and turned to a secretary and said, "I'm almost
out of typing paper. What do I do?" "Just use copier machine
paper," the secretary told her. With that, the intern took her
last remaining blank piece of paper, put it on the photocopier
and proceeded to make five "blank" copies.

SIX

A mother calls 911 very worried asking the dispatcher if she needs
to take her kid to the emergency room, the kid was eating ants.
The dispatcher tells her to give the kid some Benadryl and should
be fine, the mother says, I just gave him some ant killer.....
Dispatcher: Rush him in to emergency!

Life is tough...

it's tougher if you're stupid,