The Magic Of Making Up- After The Break Up

Breaking up is hard to do. There have been countless songs written about it, and millions of books. Here is a short guide for you on the stages of grief you may experience and how to get through them.

Breaking up in many ways is like losing a person in death. Granted they aren't dead, but it can at times feel that way, they are so glaringly absent from your life.

In the beginning you may feel shocked, or numb, or experience a bit of denial. You may feel tempted to chase after them and beg for them to come back to you. DON'T DO THIS! Stay strong and this first stage will pass.

You will feel that empty, scary feeling that you are starting over. This can be a double edged sword. Part of you may feel exhilarated at the taste of freedom from an unhappy relationship, and the other part may feel scared and sad to leave behind the familiar. You will get through this!

The second stage is when you go through your insecurity phase. You may feel fearful, angry, and depressed. This stage may take the longest to get through. You make feel like there is no end in site, but have faith. You WILL make it!

You may find yourself fighting distrust issues, including doubting yourself and your own choices. If you were so in love, how did it come to this? This part will take time, as you need to heal, but it will pass also. Take your lessons and let yourself move on.

You may stumble through a bit of an identity crisis. You will ask yourself "who am i" or "how did I end up here"? These questions are a natural part of the process.

Break ups can also trigger buried emotions from your past and make you feel insecure as well. It can shake you down to your very core and make you question things that you thought you had all figured out. This is a reassessment period. Again, take your lessons and move on. Things will get better.

Finally, you will begin to experience the third stage of grief. This involves acceptance of the break up, and finding your self worth again. You will come to realize the relationship ending was a tough situation, but you are a better person for it. You will begin living again.

This is the time for you to rejoice and enjoy your life. Get your groove back if you will! Put yourself out there, start dating again, and see what happens. New relationships and happiness will find you.

So you want to get your ex back, and you are both open to the possibility. However, you want to be sure to get your ex back for good, not just get them back and then fall apart again two weeks later. How do you do that when there is so much baggage left over between the both of you?

Well there is a secret to it. It is called forgive and forget. Yes, I know that everyone goes around saying that you can forgive, but you can't forget. I believe this is highly untrue. You CAN forget if you choose to. Or rather, you can choose to no longer let it effect you. Obviously hurtful things that have happened to you will still cross your mind occasionally, that is inevitable. But it is how you go about dealing with it that determines your success or failure in getting your ex back for good.

To get your ex back for good, you must both first acknowledge that you may have hurt each other in someway in the past, and that your feelings are both very valid. Then you must also both acknowledge that you still love each other in spite of any transgressions, and you are both willing to work toward repairing your relationship.

In forgiving, you have to let go of the premise of you are right, they are wrong, and vice versa. Who is right or wrong doesn't matter, what matters is that you want to work things out, and you have to make the choice to let go of the hurt and anger so that you can do so.

Anger is the antithesis of forgiveness, and it shackles you both into a life of unhappiness. Letting go of the anger, CHOOSING to forget the pain, and focusing on the positive will help you get your relationship back for good.

Some ways to forgive and forget are sitting down together and making a list of all the things you both love and appreciate about each other. Then share that list and read them out loud together. Set up ground rules that if you both have a disagreement, you will focus on the here and now. Dredging up past pain and history is not forgiving or forgetting. It is rehashing hurts that you both in good faith agreed to leave buried in an effort to revive your love.

Learn what fighting fairly really means, and learn to walk away and revisit an issue before things get carried away and you say things you will regret. Learn to deflect negativity by changing your thought patterns. If you find yourself harboring negative thoughts or emotions, go for a walk and consciously change that thought to something positive. It takes effort, but it is worth it to get your ex back for good and find the happiness you are looking for.

Relationships don't have to be doomed, and breakups don't have to be permanent. Not if true love is involved and respect is given. You can get your ex back for good and go on to live long and happy lives together. All you need is a little faith. As everyone knows, sow a seed and grow a garden!

Subj: Secret To Make Your Ex Return Your Call

Hi,

Are there 'magic' words you can use
to get your ex to return your phone calls?

Sounds hard to believe but there ARE words
that will nearly cast a spell and make your ex
feel almost compelled to return your call.

Cool huh?...

I am going to share this with you because
this is one of the biggest questions I get
from the over 35,000 subscribers just
like you that are trying to put their relationship
back together.

So I am going to answer..."How do I get
my ex to return my phone call, text or IM?"

BUT...

***********
WARNING!
***********

In the Magic Of Making Up, I lay
out a complete strategy.

Magic Of Making Up

If you use this technique alone, without
an 'overall' plan or strategy...you may
damage your relationship more than if
they never returned your call.

****************
What NOT to Say!
****************

Before we get into the actual words, let's
go over what message almost NEVER
works.

and worse...

Puts you in an AWFUL 'psychological' position.

These usually fall into 2 categories.

The PLEAD- Where the message sounds like

"John, please, please call me. This is the 3rd
time I have called. I HAVE to talk to you."

And the EMERGENCY-

"Cindy, this is an emergency. Please call me
as soon as you get this."

Now, I think you can see what is wrong with
both of those approaches?

So, I won't go on and on...

************************************
How To Use Curiosity & Self Interest
To Your Advantage
***********************************

Two of the most powerful forces in
the human mind are

*Curiosity &
*Self Interest

And here's the BIG SECRET!

When you combine the two, you
have a recipe that WILL work 'magic'

So...

Let's look at what you can say
that works nearly EVERY TIME.

In a friendly tone:

"Hi John. It's Cindy. I wanted to let
you know I appreciate what you did for
me. Call me because I want to thank you
in person."

Do you see how that uses BOTH curiosity
and self interest?

John will NOT be able to resist! "What did I do?"
"What does she appreciate?" he will be thinking. And
he feels good because it is a positive message.

Now...

Before you call you need to do the
"Set Up"...which is figuring out what
he/she did that you appreciate.

It can be any small thing...but needs to
be plausible.

But more importantly...

************
2nd WARNING!
************

Please have an underlying strategy
like I lay out in the Magic Of Making
Up System BEFORE you call.

Magic Of Making Up

If you apply this technique with
no underlying strategy and they
call you back you can do more
DAMAGE than good if you do not
handle it correctly.

Okay?

What I am saying is...

What you do before, during and
after you get them to return your
call is MORE important than getting
them to return your call.

Make sense?

Have a PLAN! Magic Of Making Up

Rooting For You,
T Dub