Marriages are struggling today, even those in a christian marriage and the article below are some of the issues that will be touched on, on my blog at http://www.askme7.com Also check out my riveting and in depth ebook Affairs In The Church
From time to time it will be controversial, funny,witty but true and in line with scripture and the latest credible research found anywhere. Don't be an armchair quarterback, wondering what you could have done better to improve your marriage and your walk with God. Go out there and do something about it by visiting regularly.
From time to time it will be controversial, funny,witty but true and in line with scripture and the latest credible research found anywhere. Don't be an armchair quarterback, wondering what you could have done better to improve your marriage and your walk with God. Go out there and do something about it by visiting regularly.
Secrets To Rekindle Your Christian Marriage
Help For Marriages Is On The Way.
All marriages at one time or another, faces its ups and downs, a period where some couples seem to grow apart, no longer have an interest in doing things you once liked to do together, not to mention various stresses in life, that can cause strife, loss of trust, loss of love, spark an affair or cause the couple to contemplate divorce.
Couples can learn to recognize when their marriage is going off track and rebuild the marriage by:
1. God must rule:
We've all heard the quote "God created us with a hole in our hearts that only he can fill", well its true, If you claim the name of Christ yet you don't include him in your marriage through prayer,occasional fasting and getting into the habit of reading the bible, i.e. really spending time in the word, having times of devotion as a couple, going to church to have your faith edified, (built up) by spending time with like minded believers, it will be rough.
God is not some cosmic bellhop there for you to summon only when you're in a jam, He created us for himself and wants us to have a relationship with him. You and your spouse could literally have everything falling apart around you and still have peace which surpasses all understanding. God demands that we trust him. Without faith it is impossible to please him. Hebrews 11:6
What if you went against the biblical admonition, not to be unequally yoked and married someone who didn't share your faith or maybe you've just recently became a christian while married to an unbeliever, should you now "hit the road" and end the marriage and marry someone who shares your belief, in order to grow and strengthen your walk with God? Absolutely NOT! In 2 Corinthians 7 it states that we are to continue our walk with God and hopefully and by God's Grace, your unbelieving spouse will give their heart to God and have the saving knowledge of the Lord Jesus Christ, but if the unbelieving spouse chooses to end the marriage because of your faith, let them go.
As previously stated, God loves us and wants a relationship with us and how we follow or choose not to follow his precepts affects every area of our life including our marriage, He doesn't want "lukewarm christians" Rev 3:16-17
2.Resentment
Do you harbor resentment against your spouse? You received a big promotion at work, you seemed to really be moving up the corporate ladder and along with that big promotion, it required a move to a new state; but your spouse completely refused to move and so you have to stay in your present position as you didn't want to be another divorce statistic and years later you're still holding on to the resentment.
When you think about opportunities missed, Does it just burn you up inside or do you find yourself bringing it up almost everytime you two have a disagreement?
Bottled up anger and resentment will not produce the long lasting lifelong christian marriage you seek and while we all want to advance in our careers to make money or have a sense of accomplishment, Don't you think your marriage and family should take a higher priority?
Maybe your spouse really did something beyond the pale and you've told her/him that you've forgiven them and you constantly feel the need to keep on bringing up how they wronged you. Let go of the anger and stop playing the victim, when you've already made the decision to forgive.
3.Are You Getting Enough...?
Do you or your spouse go out of your way to show them that you love and cherish them even when you feel that they don't deserve it?
Do you make the effort to set aside time from your hectic schedule to do things together like you did when you first got married? There's that saying "Familiarity Breeds Contempt" The "newness" and mystery about your spouse is long gone. You know every belch he makes, you constantly have to remind her not to leave the toilet seat up, he's always snoring, tossing and turning.
through the night, You should learn to prod the other to change bad habits; but not "blow up" over it. No one is perfect, Try recapturing the magic by dating one another.
Do fun things together. Have more sex.
Do you or your spouse have hangups about sex? Do you feel its dirty or you feel guilty or you don't have any desire to have sex anymore. Have you experienced some trauma in your past that makes you dread sex?
Some women are self conscious and either don't feel attractive at all or wonder if they still are attractive to their husbands,particularly after giving birth to a couple of children. Husbands need to reassure their wives that they love them and are still attracted to them on the whole, not just physically.
Mismatched sex drives is one of the biggest factors that leads to cheating, according to Medical researcher Sarah Humphrey,it most definitely is not the only cause, Try to do things differently (with mutual consent) in the bedroom, go out of your way to seek your spouse's pleasure before your own and if you're the one who has lost interest in sex, you might want to please your spouse by trying to accomodate them as much as possible or getting help for why you have a diminished sex drive from when you both first got married.
God created sex; Sex alone will not keep the relationship alive. Each couple is different and each spouse may desire it more than the other; but its still important.
In the beginning of the marriage, you both couldn't get enough of each other and now one of you lacks interest; it can drive a wedge in the marriage and you both start throwing around words like "insatiable" "sex maniac" "one minute mister" or "cold fish". What happened to the deep love respect and mind blowing sex, you both used to have? That's its now come to this?
Again, both spouses need to make an effort to be understanding when one spouse shows a sudden lack of interest and the "low interest" spouse should consider the other spouse's God given desires and not open the door to possible infidelity.
Remember 1 Corinthians 7:4-5 The Wife does not have authority over her own body; but the husband does. And likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does.
(New King James Bible)
Stop Depriving one another, except by agreement for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. (New American Standard Bible)
Cheating is a big problem, even in the church check out Affairs In The Church on the topic of: Christian Marriage
Don't automatically assume that its always the husband that has the higher sex drive than his wife.
Take a look at this from the Song of Solomon 3:v 1-4 (The new king james version)
By night on my bed I sought the one I love; I sought him, but I did not find him.
"I will rise now" I said And Go into the city;
In the streets and in the squares
I will seek the one I love
I sought him, but I did not find him.
The watchmen who go about the city found me; I said
"Have you seen the one I love?"
Scarcely had I passed by them,
When I found the one I love.
I held him and would not let go,
After sex, both of you should bask in the afterglow, and not rollover, ignore the other now that you've got your needs met and go to sleep, instead try cuddling together and spend some time talking (keep it clean):-) to one another.
4.Money, Money,Money
Are financial problems causing a rift in your marriage? Money or the lack thereof, is often cited as one of the top three causes of Divorce.
Do you consider him a miser,spendthrift or cheapskate? Do you consider her hard to please, wasteful and high maintenance? Have you as a couple mounted up so much debt that you feel you'll never be able to pay it off to the point that you're arguing alot, assigning blame and you're considering ending the marriage or filing for bankruptcy?
One good starting point is to start cutting expenses. Cancel those credit cards, yes even that platinum card that was so hard to qualify for. Have just one credit card for emergencies and choose one with good terms on interest, grace periods, late fees etc.
Why not also google for christian debt management services. (check out their business history etc) and christian counseling services?
These tips are not a cure all; but rather its a starting point to improve your married life via Godly principles.
Like This lense? Check out my new blog with more exciting stuff to come at http://www.askme7.com
Couples can learn to recognize when their marriage is going off track and rebuild the marriage by:
1. God must rule:
We've all heard the quote "God created us with a hole in our hearts that only he can fill", well its true, If you claim the name of Christ yet you don't include him in your marriage through prayer,occasional fasting and getting into the habit of reading the bible, i.e. really spending time in the word, having times of devotion as a couple, going to church to have your faith edified, (built up) by spending time with like minded believers, it will be rough.
God is not some cosmic bellhop there for you to summon only when you're in a jam, He created us for himself and wants us to have a relationship with him. You and your spouse could literally have everything falling apart around you and still have peace which surpasses all understanding. God demands that we trust him. Without faith it is impossible to please him. Hebrews 11:6
What if you went against the biblical admonition, not to be unequally yoked and married someone who didn't share your faith or maybe you've just recently became a christian while married to an unbeliever, should you now "hit the road" and end the marriage and marry someone who shares your belief, in order to grow and strengthen your walk with God? Absolutely NOT! In 2 Corinthians 7 it states that we are to continue our walk with God and hopefully and by God's Grace, your unbelieving spouse will give their heart to God and have the saving knowledge of the Lord Jesus Christ, but if the unbelieving spouse chooses to end the marriage because of your faith, let them go.
As previously stated, God loves us and wants a relationship with us and how we follow or choose not to follow his precepts affects every area of our life including our marriage, He doesn't want "lukewarm christians" Rev 3:16-17
2.Resentment
Do you harbor resentment against your spouse? You received a big promotion at work, you seemed to really be moving up the corporate ladder and along with that big promotion, it required a move to a new state; but your spouse completely refused to move and so you have to stay in your present position as you didn't want to be another divorce statistic and years later you're still holding on to the resentment.
When you think about opportunities missed, Does it just burn you up inside or do you find yourself bringing it up almost everytime you two have a disagreement?
Bottled up anger and resentment will not produce the long lasting lifelong christian marriage you seek and while we all want to advance in our careers to make money or have a sense of accomplishment, Don't you think your marriage and family should take a higher priority?
Maybe your spouse really did something beyond the pale and you've told her/him that you've forgiven them and you constantly feel the need to keep on bringing up how they wronged you. Let go of the anger and stop playing the victim, when you've already made the decision to forgive.
3.Are You Getting Enough...?
Do you or your spouse go out of your way to show them that you love and cherish them even when you feel that they don't deserve it?
Do you make the effort to set aside time from your hectic schedule to do things together like you did when you first got married? There's that saying "Familiarity Breeds Contempt" The "newness" and mystery about your spouse is long gone. You know every belch he makes, you constantly have to remind her not to leave the toilet seat up, he's always snoring, tossing and turning.
through the night, You should learn to prod the other to change bad habits; but not "blow up" over it. No one is perfect, Try recapturing the magic by dating one another.
Do fun things together. Have more sex.
Do you or your spouse have hangups about sex? Do you feel its dirty or you feel guilty or you don't have any desire to have sex anymore. Have you experienced some trauma in your past that makes you dread sex?
Some women are self conscious and either don't feel attractive at all or wonder if they still are attractive to their husbands,particularly after giving birth to a couple of children. Husbands need to reassure their wives that they love them and are still attracted to them on the whole, not just physically.
Mismatched sex drives is one of the biggest factors that leads to cheating, according to Medical researcher Sarah Humphrey,it most definitely is not the only cause, Try to do things differently (with mutual consent) in the bedroom, go out of your way to seek your spouse's pleasure before your own and if you're the one who has lost interest in sex, you might want to please your spouse by trying to accomodate them as much as possible or getting help for why you have a diminished sex drive from when you both first got married.
God created sex; Sex alone will not keep the relationship alive. Each couple is different and each spouse may desire it more than the other; but its still important.
In the beginning of the marriage, you both couldn't get enough of each other and now one of you lacks interest; it can drive a wedge in the marriage and you both start throwing around words like "insatiable" "sex maniac" "one minute mister" or "cold fish". What happened to the deep love respect and mind blowing sex, you both used to have? That's its now come to this?
Again, both spouses need to make an effort to be understanding when one spouse shows a sudden lack of interest and the "low interest" spouse should consider the other spouse's God given desires and not open the door to possible infidelity.
Remember 1 Corinthians 7:4-5 The Wife does not have authority over her own body; but the husband does. And likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does.
(New King James Bible)
Stop Depriving one another, except by agreement for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. (New American Standard Bible)
Cheating is a big problem, even in the church check out Affairs In The Church on the topic of: Christian Marriage
Don't automatically assume that its always the husband that has the higher sex drive than his wife.
Take a look at this from the Song of Solomon 3:v 1-4 (The new king james version)
By night on my bed I sought the one I love; I sought him, but I did not find him.
"I will rise now" I said And Go into the city;
In the streets and in the squares
I will seek the one I love
I sought him, but I did not find him.
The watchmen who go about the city found me; I said
"Have you seen the one I love?"
Scarcely had I passed by them,
When I found the one I love.
I held him and would not let go,
After sex, both of you should bask in the afterglow, and not rollover, ignore the other now that you've got your needs met and go to sleep, instead try cuddling together and spend some time talking (keep it clean):-) to one another.
4.Money, Money,Money
Are financial problems causing a rift in your marriage? Money or the lack thereof, is often cited as one of the top three causes of Divorce.
Do you consider him a miser,spendthrift or cheapskate? Do you consider her hard to please, wasteful and high maintenance? Have you as a couple mounted up so much debt that you feel you'll never be able to pay it off to the point that you're arguing alot, assigning blame and you're considering ending the marriage or filing for bankruptcy?
One good starting point is to start cutting expenses. Cancel those credit cards, yes even that platinum card that was so hard to qualify for. Have just one credit card for emergencies and choose one with good terms on interest, grace periods, late fees etc.
Why not also google for christian debt management services. (check out their business history etc) and christian counseling services?
These tips are not a cure all; but rather its a starting point to improve your married life via Godly principles.
Like This lense? Check out my new blog with more exciting stuff to come at http://www.askme7.com
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Take a look at these other resources to strengthen your walk, Take decisive action. Do nothing and nothing happens, whether you just got married or you have been married and it seems like forever, you can definitely use these books to bring you and your spouse, closer using the advice given.
by bruce1789
Hello,
E.Umana Here.
I'm a St.Louis,Mo Based Writer on christian marriage and a whole host of other topics, spread all over the internet and Internet... (more)
E.Umana Here.
I'm a St.Louis,Mo Based Writer on christian marriage and a whole host of other topics, spread all over the internet and Internet... (more)
