Dining Late with Claude La Badarian

An Illustration from "The Last Supper"
Credit: New Jersey artist John Nebesney (nebesney.com)The first letter in the series was published in the back pages of New York Press under 'CULTURE' with the heading "Fiction by William Monahan" and was a proposal for a dining column by a fictional character named Claude La Badarian. In subsequent letters, no clear indication was given that the column was fictional, while the byline was Claude La Badarian's and a portrait of him graced each column.








1) "The Last Supper" (vol. 14, no. 25, June 20-26, 2001) by William MonahanClaude complains about the publishing of his debut-novel SECOND NOVEL to Henry, a magazine publisher and friend. After telling Henry about his tense domestic life with his wife and four children in Saugerties, NY, he blackmails him into financing a dining column titled DINING LATE WITH CLAUDE LA BADARIAN.
2) "A Column Debuts" (vol. 14, no. 26, June 27-July 3, 2001) by Claude La BadarianClaude thanks Henry for tendering the Aristocrat magazine contract for his proposed dining column, which has made it possible for him to reconcile with his wife and renew work on his ongoing novel, Hyperconsciousness: A Memoir. He justifies blackmailing Henry, describing their relationship as now one of patronage.
3) "Marital Crisis In Saugerties" (vol. 14, no. 27, July 4-10, 2001) by Claude La Badarian
In a correspondence to his father-in-law, Claude explains that he did not dismiss his wife from their house but that she had in fact left on medical advice following an allergic reaction to the flea-infested pet they had received from him as a gift. Happier than ever, Claude informs him that he will not be reconciling with his wife.
4) "Silence, Exile, and Claude La Badarian" (vol. 14, no. 28, July 11-17, 2001) by Claude La BadarianFrom a hotel in Massachusetts, Claude thanks Henry for agreeing to send him money under the table, reports that he has abandoned Hyper-Consciousness: A Memoir, and argues that in American literature first novels are essentially memoirs converted to fiction upon the author's realization that their text is replete with lies.
5) "Living Independently" (vol. 14, no. 29, July 18-24, 2001) by Claude La Badarian
Claude addresses a letter to Jesus Christ, confessing to impersonating a mentally challenged individual named Alfred S. Longwood who disappeared after requesting privatized public assistance. When a female social worker's teachings turn sexual, Claude uses her impropriety to successfully blackmail her.
6) "A Job Becomes Necessary" (vol. 14, no. 30, July 25-31, 2001) by Claude La Badarian
In a letter to famed magazine editor Tina Brown, Claude inquires about a party and attempts to mislead her into thinking he's in France, regaling her with tales of his drinking and sexual exploits. He informs her that he has recently been hired to work in a used bookstore.
7) "Claude and the Little People" (vol. 14, no. 31, August 1-7, 2001) by Claude La BadarianFired from his bookstore job, Claude has a drink at a cafe - where novelist William Monahan happens to be too - while composing a letter to Henry on the subject of disreputable members of his extended family who, after his grandfather died, took possession of his grandmother's summerhouse and had him disinherited.
8) "Seazed by Hindoos" * (vol. 14, no. 32, August 8-14, 2001) by Claude La Badarian
Having once provided a novelist's wife with some money to pay her bills, Claude tells Henry that when their paths next crossed and he was now destitute, she loaned him far less than he had freely given her and later claimed that he had defaulted on this loan, leading to a showdown with her at a restaurant one night that would usher in a new dawn for Claude La Badarian.
9) "That Asshole, Monahan" (vol. 14, no. 33, August 15-21, 2001) by Claude La Badarian
Complaining to Henry about the publishing of William Monahan's first novel Light House: A Trifle, Claude tells him that he tried to ruin Monahan's novel in a publication and about further encounters with novelist William Monahan while being stricken with bouts of hyperconsciousness.
10) "Home Again" (vol. 14, no. 34, August 22-28, 2001) by Claude La Badarian
Currently staying at the Gramercy Hotel in Manhattan, Claude reminisces about the Eighties and recalls when he got a girl pregnant during a summer fling and the abortion she had in New York City.
11) "New Voices Under Ninety" (vol. 14, no. 35, August 29-September 4, 2001) by Claude La BadarianClaude informs Henry that he is keeping busy in Manhattan with lunches. He reviews the book, With Love and Squalor, a collection of essays responding to the work of J.D. Salinger, criticizing the coming-of-age novel about New York City and its archetype The Catcher in the Rye.
12) "Je Suis Un Genius, Baby" (vol. 14, no. 36, September 5-11, 2001) by Claude La BadarianIn a letter to famed magazine editor Graydon Carter, Claude reports that he is currently in Paris and gives an account of previous trip to France when he met a woman in a Paris establishment called Cafe Arc de Triomphe, passing an erotic moment or two with her before moving on.
13) "The Grapes Of Claude" (vol. 14, no. 37, September 12-18, 2001) by Claude La BadarianIn a letter to God, Claude tells him of his visit to novelist William Monahan's office and the events that led to Monahan locking him in a room, one floor above, with a brick wall at the door.