Clean Funny Quotes

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Amusing Quotations and Words for Scrapbooking, Crafts, Cards, and Good Clean Fun

Welcome to a page of quotations and sayings dedicated to making you smile!

A little quip can lighten the day, be enlightening, or inspire someone.
Make someone a happy with the terrific quotes on this this page!

Everyone should have a few quotes posted about their home and place of work. We can all use a laugh on twitter, Facebook, or an e-mail too. How about sharing a bit of cheer today?


Laughter is an instant vacation. ~Milton Berle

The most wasted of all days is one without laughter. ~e.e. cummings

Funny Friendship Quotes

  • Only your real friends will tell you when your face is dirty. ~Sicilian Proverb
  • There are big ships and small ships. But the best ship of all is friendship. ~Author Unknown
  • A true friend is one who thinks you are a good egg even if you are half-cracked. ~Author Unknown
  • We are keenly aware of the faults of our friends, but if they like us enough it doesn't matter. ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic's Notebook, 1960
  • It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

Don't worry about the world coming to an end today.
It is already tomorrow in Australia.
~ Charles Schulz

Fun Humorous Gifts


"If they are really your friends, you will want to spend lots of money on them to show them so."

~ a Squidoo Lensmaster
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"If a cluttered desk is a sign of a cluttered mind, then what are we to think of an empty desk?"
~ Albert Einstein's quote
(which makes me SO happy!)

Humorous Quotes

* A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized. ~Fred Allen

* A compromise is an agreement whereby both parties get what neither of them wanted. ~ Author Unknown

* A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking. ~ Arthur McBride Bloch

* "One only needs two tools in life: WD-40 to make things go, and duct tape to make them stop." ~ G. Weilacher

* All my life, I always wanted to be somebody. Now I see that I should have been more specific. ~ Jane Wagner, The Search For Intelligent Life In The Universe (performed by Lily Tomlin)

* All generalizations are bad. ~ R.H. Grenier

* Anybody can win, unless there happens to be a second entry. ~ George Ade

* The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us. ~ Bill Watterson, Calvin and Hobbes

* Today is the last day of some of your life. ~ Author Unknown

* Without geography, you're nowhere. ~ Author Unknown

* It's always darkest before the dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it. ~ Author Unknown

* You can't have everything... where would you put it? ~Steven Wright

"Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday."
- Don Marquis

Books of Funny Words and Quotations

Books of Funny Words and Quotations

Phillips' Book of Great Thoughts & Funny Sayings: A Stupendous Collection of Quotes, Quips, Epigrams, Witticisms, and Humorous Comments. For Personal Enjoyment and Ready Reference. by Bob Phillips

Phillips' Book of Great Thoughts & Funny Sayings: A Stupendous Collection of Quotes, Quips, Epigrams, Witticisms, and Humorous Comments. For Personal Enjoyment and Ready Reference. by Bob Phillips

From Bible quotes and Christian teachings to the w more...1 point

Children Growing Funny: a collection of poems and quotes by Kevin Clark

Children Growing Funny: a collection of poems and quotes by Kevin Clark

Kevin has masterfully re-created many of the conve more...1 point

Scribbled Eggs: Kids' Quotes To Crack You Up by Penny Jane Wilson

Scribbled Eggs: Kids' Quotes To Crack You Up by Penny Jane Wilson

Penny scribbled her children's anecdotes on calend more...1 point

Quote Junkie Funny Edition: Hundreds of hilarious quotes by some of the most serious men and women in the history of the world by Hagopian Institute

Quote Junkie Funny Edition: Hundreds of hilarious quotes by some of the most serious men and women in the history of the world by Hagopian Institute

Over 800 of the funniest quotes from some of the m more...1 point

Funny You Should Say That: Amusing Remarks From Cicero to the Simpsons

Funny You Should Say That: Amusing Remarks From Cicero to the Simpsons

"A fool and his words are soon parted," wrote more...0 points

500 Great Heartwarming Expressions For Scrapbooking & Cards (Heartwarming Expressions) by Sandy Redburn

500 Great Heartwarming Expressions For Scrapbooking & Cards (Heartwarming Expressions) by Sandy Redburn

This new Book # 4 in the Heartwarming Expressions more...0 points

Laughter is the shortest distance between two people.
~Victor Borge

Scrapbooking Quote Products For Sale Here!

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Scrapbook Supplies

Black & White Clear Sticker Quote Stack 4.875x7, 10/Sheet-Vacation

Black & White Clear Sticker Quote Stack 4.875x7, 10/Sheet-Vacation

These Quote Stacks are printed in black & whit more...0 points

Black And White Clear Sticker Quote Stack 4.875X7 10 Sheets-Children

Black And White Clear Sticker Quote Stack 4.875X7 10 Sheets-Children

DIE CUTS WITH A VIEW-These quote stacks are printe more...0 points

Diecuts With A View Black and White 4-3/8 Inch by 7 Inch 10 Sheets Clear Sticker Quote Stack, Love

Diecuts With A View Black and White 4-3/8 Inch by 7 Inch 10 Sheets Clear Sticker Quote Stack, Love

These quote stacks are printed in black and white more...0 points

Diecuts With A View Black and White 4-3/8 Inch by 7 Inch 10 Sheets Clear Sticker Quote Stack, Family

Diecuts With A View Black and White 4-3/8 Inch by 7 Inch 10 Sheets Clear Sticker Quote Stack, Family

These quote stacks are printed in black and white more...0 points

Reminisce Signature Series Travel Stickers-Dream Vacation Quote

Reminisce Signature Series Travel Stickers-Dream Vacation Quote

Add these stickers to your vacation and travel pag more...0 points

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