Welcome to contrariaN communicationS!
You probably won't find anything conventional, humdrum or mundane in the way of words and images at contrariaN communicationS!
If you love the spirit of serendipity and aren't afraid of smiles, snickers, or snorts, then what these cockamammie cultural creatives have to offer will be right up your alley.
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Photo Insert Credit: contrariaN communicationS logo designed by Vanessa Raven Illustration & Design.
WHAT WE DO
contrariaN communicationS specializes in creating pithy, witty, and often unconventional ways to convey "really important" things to clients and customers.Not to be confused with boring "bumpf", flat "fluff" or paltry "pap", our products are full of wit (and, if truth be told, a dash of wonk).
We use state-of-the-art, Jest-in-Time TechnologyTM to identify client needs and to design compelling images if not sometimes hilarious messages that rivet roving eyeballs and tickle forgotten funnybones.
WHAT contrariaN communicationS CAN DO FOR YOU!
Toot your horn!
Uncover the real you!
Draw out your best features.
Arrange a hair-cut.
Find a new attitude.
Play with food!
An extreme makeover?
TYPES OF PROJECTS WE DO BEST
· Write waggish articles, jocular newsletters, and mirthful speeches (that rival the eloquence of politicians and pundits).· Create scintillating advertisements and sparkling voice mail messages (that leave a lusting impression).
· Develop and deliver memorable presentations at annual general meetings, trade shows, workshops and retreats (infinitely more enjoyable than doing Kegel exercises to while away the time).
· Design, build and monitor droll websites and jestful communities (where seldom is heard a discouraging word and the skies are not cloudy all day).
WHO'S ON THE CREATIVE TEAM?
Mirthful members of the contrariaN communicationS team include:-- Truman Tockholes - our innocuous image consultant who besides tooting his own horn is forever trying to create a lasting impression with clients who desire an extreme makeover. (See a rather fine likeness in the illustration insert).
-- Beatrice Baughurst Bonkle - better known "Ms. Social Butterfly" to friends, she is also our waggish wordpecker (who frequently picks our prose and poetry all to pieces just for the fun of it!)
-- H.R.H. The Quipping Queen & Empress of Eccentricity - Patroness of Pith & Vinegar, and an award-winning humble humorist (if there is such a term.)
"Butterfly" Beatrice Baughurst Bonkle: Our Witty Wordbird
Truman Tockholes - "Wanna see my Casual Friday attire?"
Patroness Of Pith & Vinegar - "I am easily amused!"
WHY WE DO IT
Here at contrariaN communicationS we do what we do best in order to:1. fulfill our destiny (we're not content watching grass grow under our feet or talking to plants like more than a few folks we know),
2. defy the law of gravity with a little levity (good Lord our clients need it as much as we do!)
3. satisy our daily desire for bread, peanut butter and jelly, or consume vast quantities of cold beer and salted peanuts in a pinch!
4. demonstrate that our greatest gift to the world is to rid it of intellectual fog and if not, at the very least to think like a dandelion, look like a fool, and act like an earthquake.
5. to receive a billet-doux or two from happy clients together with a suitcase full of genuine greenbacks (or a modest downpayment of a loony-filled piggybank!)
WHERE WE HANG OUT
We can usually be found dressed in our Druid outfits on long, "creative" coffee breaks at a local liquid lounge, better known as "James Bay Coffee & Books" doing all manner of things including:1. deep musing about inconsequential sorts of stuff while leisurely leafing through a wonderful assortment of previously-enjoyed pocket-books,
2. chatting to perfect strangers who think our views on the price of tea in China to be most enlightening and stimulating, or
3. munching quietly on day-old doughnuts and sharing the crumbs with the garbage cans of the universe, (a clan of well-fed seagulls who claim James Bay as their home).
HOW WE WORK WITH CLIENTS
Our preferred clients are those with healthy hearts, deep pockets, and no court jester on the payroll.Given the fact that few of our clients fall into this category, we also work with those who have big hearts, modest wallets, and at least one bemusement bone in their body.
First-time clients or prospects wishing to discuss their projects are entitled to 30 minutes of our time for free. (Those who wish to use telepathy or who want to "kvetch" are encouraged to take out a classified ad in one of our popular humor journals, "Pith and Vinegar Times", or send us an email, so we can drop it in our 'pity pot'!)
When all is said and done, odd, unconventional, and off-the-wall people don't mind our creative antics and soon become our clients for ever and ever...frankly who else would take them?
WHEN WE DO OUR BEST WORK
Clients often ask us how we come up with our ideas and keep our creative juice flowing. So, in the interests of brevity, we thought we'd let them in on our best-kept secret.Some of our best cutting-edge thoughts and most inspiring off-the-wall bursts of genius happen whilst engaging in our morning ablutions or playing with magnetic poetry on the fridge waiting for the toast to pop up.
We hope your insatiable appetite for tidbits of trivia and of course curiosity has now been thoroughly satisfied!
RINGING ENDORSEMENTS
"Craboon & Company" (a terrific tinwhistle troupe)-- "they helped us re-brand ourselves, since few people could recall ever hearing of the "Fee-Faw-Foe-Fummers of Flimby".The League of the Holy Humbug, (an association dedicated to the elimination of beared, ho-ho-ing men in red velvet suits) -- "their expertise in affairs of the occult was invaluable, especially in attracting new members such as mysterious Mavens of the Mistletoe and Guardians of the Great Horn Spoon who share our mission in life."
Visionaries of Delectable Bosh, (an obscure academic think tank) -- "we shall be forever indebted to these cultural creatives who came up with an excellent strategy to market our fill-in-the-blank books to The Blatherhood of Insufferable Stuff and the Cooperative Association for Breaking into the Spotlight...well done!"
BATTY BOOKMARKS FOR BORED BOOKWORMS
FRIENDLY FEEDBAG
This is the best place to leave your fond wishes for a happy day, breathtakingly beautiful comments about our creative team, or your desperate need for our services to make your next off-the-wall project a success!
