Conversation Questions

The knack of good conversation relies on you being able to ask the right questions to stimulate discussion and keep people talking. You can learn this knack, though. Good conversation questions aren't difficult. They have to be things people can talk about or your conversation is going nowhere fast.

Good conversations are like tennis matches, with plenty of
to and fro. Questions are a really important part of that.

You can ask questions for various reasons in a conversation:

Questions to start conversations
Questions to get to know people
Questions to clarify understanding
Questions to bring in quiet people
Questions to progress the conversation
Questions to make sure there's a next time

and so on. Questions are really useful things!

Let's have a look at each of those in turn:

Questions to start conversations
1. Have you been here before?
2. I wonder what the tutor will be like?
3. I like your (item of clothing, hairstyle, decor etc) -
where did you get it?
4. Have you had to travel far to get here?
5. So you have a child in the show?...

And so on, you get the idea. Latch on to what strikes you
immediately about the situation you're in and ask question
which invites the other person to respond with a comment
that is more than a 'yes' or 'no'.

Some of the above questions are closed questions - but
since they are about topics which evoke strong feelings -
like children and travel - they are not likely to be met
with one-word answers. There are no hard and fast rules
here - relax and enjoy the conversation.

Questions to get to know people better
1. Do you live around here?
2. How do you know our hosts?
3. Are you here with your family?
4. What are your hobbies?
5. Have you read any good books/been to any good movies
recently?

Questions to clarify understanding
These are useful to avoid misunderstanding which can
either cause tension as you comment on something in an
inappropriate way as you didn't understand - or you feel
too out of your depth to contribute to the conversation
at all.

When in doubt - ask! Something simple like,

"Excuse me - I didn't quite understand that," will do.

Questions to bring in quiet people
Make it easy for quite people to join in a conversation
by asking them direct questions by name, but don't make
it obvious you feel they're quiet.

"Oi! Have you lost your tongue?" won't work nearly as
well as something like"You went to that restaurant too,
didn't you? What was it like?"

Questions to progress the conversation
These build on the topic you're already talking about
and take the conversation into greater depths - and
so make them moreinteresting.

For instance, if you're talking about sport, you could
ask:

"You support ____ don't you?"..."What did you think to
their last game with ___ "..."What do you think to their
chances of winning ___ this season?"

You get the idea, I'm sure.

Questions to make sure there's a next time
Oh these are goodies! You've enjoyed talking to the
person and you want to see them again. It doesn't have
to be a date, just a continuation of a friendship.

You've probably got to know a little about the other
person's interests by then, so your question could focus
on what you have in common.

If you're stuck, though - "How about we meet up for
coffee at the weekend?" is always a good question.

So - whatever stage of the conversation or however
well you know the person, conversation questions will
always help to smooth things along and get you where you
want to be in talking to someone.