CrypticFragments' Poetry
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CrypticFragments Online Poetry Chapbook
All of the poetry included in this "online chapbook" was written between 1986 and 1992 by Tammy Winand.
Tammy is an artist, traveler, writer and photographer with a lust for adventure and a wide open heart that sometimes bleeds for all the world to see.
Although she rarely writes poetry these days, Tammy continues to explore other written media, mainly creative non-fiction (personal essays). She is exploring the art of travel writing and frequently has ideas for fiction projects which may one day actually be penned.
Her work has appeared in Japanophile (now defunct) as well as Free Focus/Ostentatious Mind and (self-published) The Inverted Ostrich Newsletter. This collection was originally published in print format in the early 1990s under the title "CrypticFragments".
Tammy's work also appear on Helium Writers Network as well as in her various blogs.
All work which appears here is copyrighted and may not be used or reproduced without the express written consent of the author.
Tammy is an artist, traveler, writer and photographer with a lust for adventure and a wide open heart that sometimes bleeds for all the world to see.
Although she rarely writes poetry these days, Tammy continues to explore other written media, mainly creative non-fiction (personal essays). She is exploring the art of travel writing and frequently has ideas for fiction projects which may one day actually be penned.
Her work has appeared in Japanophile (now defunct) as well as Free Focus/Ostentatious Mind and (self-published) The Inverted Ostrich Newsletter. This collection was originally published in print format in the early 1990s under the title "CrypticFragments".
Tammy's work also appear on Helium Writers Network as well as in her various blogs.
All work which appears here is copyrighted and may not be used or reproduced without the express written consent of the author.
La Morte d'Art
"The Death of Art"
The poets of high school have died
Taking dictation from business lords
Behind sagging desks, backs
Overburdened with legalities.
One beneath a neon McDonald's sign
Burns in the heat lamps' glare,
Fried clean of impurities.
Some fell from the ladder to fame.
I saw one just the other day
Drunk and naked on some stage
Begging for money, for drugs,
Silent tearless crying for mercy.
Corrupt ballerina mourning
La morte d'ume vie tranquille.
The poet's of high school have
Suicided in order to survive.
Taking dictation from business lords
Behind sagging desks, backs
Overburdened with legalities.
One beneath a neon McDonald's sign
Burns in the heat lamps' glare,
Fried clean of impurities.
Some fell from the ladder to fame.
I saw one just the other day
Drunk and naked on some stage
Begging for money, for drugs,
Silent tearless crying for mercy.
Corrupt ballerina mourning
La morte d'ume vie tranquille.
The poet's of high school have
Suicided in order to survive.
Nathalie G., 1986
Nathalie, I pity your skeleton frame.
You could never be but a ghost,
A haunting from cold college days.
Roommate opposed on ways of life,
Methods of love, opinions on why
We'd been sentenced to here and now.
Sun Myung Moon stole your soul,
Prophet of sack cloth, lost possessions.
Mine went to dead end rock n'roll.
We both long for rescue, to escape.
Eternity begins to unwind with
The slow dance of our lives
Falling outward onto faded pages,
On faces wasted by painful lies.
Too late, our bones have dissolved
In the bitter wine of time.
You could never be but a ghost,
A haunting from cold college days.
Roommate opposed on ways of life,
Methods of love, opinions on why
We'd been sentenced to here and now.
Sun Myung Moon stole your soul,
Prophet of sack cloth, lost possessions.
Mine went to dead end rock n'roll.
We both long for rescue, to escape.
Eternity begins to unwind with
The slow dance of our lives
Falling outward onto faded pages,
On faces wasted by painful lies.
Too late, our bones have dissolved
In the bitter wine of time.
Yokobue...Tribute to a Dream
I have no evidence but photos,
And I know all the images-
The ancient and the beautiful
Colors explode in red, green, and gold,
Woven silks of misty mornings
Glide into elegant dusks.
In the rain, a softly wailing flute
Remembers the melody of history,
Pausing to change tune
Beneath a gracefully upturned eave.
Breezes whisper, give up their secrets,
Promise the silence of foreign dark,
A gentle touch before sleep.
The sudden awareness of truth
Is greater than the frame,
But the photo knows no shame.
And I know all the images-
The ancient and the beautiful
Colors explode in red, green, and gold,
Woven silks of misty mornings
Glide into elegant dusks.
In the rain, a softly wailing flute
Remembers the melody of history,
Pausing to change tune
Beneath a gracefully upturned eave.
Breezes whisper, give up their secrets,
Promise the silence of foreign dark,
A gentle touch before sleep.
The sudden awareness of truth
Is greater than the frame,
But the photo knows no shame.
Genesis Ex Nihilo
"creation out of nothing"
(original written 1989)
After hours hard spent in thought
Reviewing lines of half truths,
I can no more pass judgment
Than dream bullets can kill.
Once I crossed a mile long bridge
To dim and distant life shores
But learned no profound facts.
Now I see the ravages of war
And feel an unbearable urge to laugh,
Like the slowly dying man
Who remembers all his mistakes,
I was on the way to having faith
Still, so many high fence rows
Divide me from simple desires,
And still I search for myself
Each day, in everyone I meet,
Doubting I will ever be found.
Sometimes, when the fear subsides,
I lounge in the sun reading Yeats
And find the time to wonder
How our universe can juggle
Such awesome gaps of reason.
After hours hard spent in thought
Reviewing lines of half truths,
I can no more pass judgment
Than dream bullets can kill.
Once I crossed a mile long bridge
To dim and distant life shores
But learned no profound facts.
Now I see the ravages of war
And feel an unbearable urge to laugh,
Like the slowly dying man
Who remembers all his mistakes,
I was on the way to having faith
Still, so many high fence rows
Divide me from simple desires,
And still I search for myself
Each day, in everyone I meet,
Doubting I will ever be found.
Sometimes, when the fear subsides,
I lounge in the sun reading Yeats
And find the time to wonder
How our universe can juggle
Such awesome gaps of reason.
Jersey Shore, 1989
Oceans pound in the skull
Break on shoals, barrier heads
Little white waves that dip
And moan with terrible sadness.
Deep, our ocean, our creature wealth
Unsure of tides, weren't we
Supposed to lift then rise
Riding crests out of weary time?
On my heart a Sting Ray lies
Ready to jump-start a beat.
Bay crabs wait, a tiny dance
Of eyes and claws, sands swirl,
Halibut dart the descending net.
Surf pours in, breaks the beach,
Fragmentary childhood dreams
Lost, fleeing, jerking in death
Beneath boardwalk rot,
The decay of grounded kites,
Broken shovel plastic, shell chips
Swept up by hurricane anger.
Rain slaps boarded hotel glass,
Denies tourist thrills, laughter
Reserved for waitresses, roulette,
Place your bets, the wheel whirls.
Break on shoals, barrier heads
Little white waves that dip
And moan with terrible sadness.
Deep, our ocean, our creature wealth
Unsure of tides, weren't we
Supposed to lift then rise
Riding crests out of weary time?
On my heart a Sting Ray lies
Ready to jump-start a beat.
Bay crabs wait, a tiny dance
Of eyes and claws, sands swirl,
Halibut dart the descending net.
Surf pours in, breaks the beach,
Fragmentary childhood dreams
Lost, fleeing, jerking in death
Beneath boardwalk rot,
The decay of grounded kites,
Broken shovel plastic, shell chips
Swept up by hurricane anger.
Rain slaps boarded hotel glass,
Denies tourist thrills, laughter
Reserved for waitresses, roulette,
Place your bets, the wheel whirls.
Landscape
Lost and adrift, I was
Ripped open by the violent
Orange blades of canyon sunset
Where night cries on the edge,
Stars dancing naked on the rim,
Canopy strung over atmosphere
Laughs at a gasping gnarled pine.
In this silence the city I knew,
My home and my shelter,
Has drowned under raging sea
On a thousand-mile distant
Shore, rippling sand, tides
That whisper nostalgia and
Rows of dying oysters who
Imagine great whales singing,
Spouting out their pearls.
Ripped open by the violent
Orange blades of canyon sunset
Where night cries on the edge,
Stars dancing naked on the rim,
Canopy strung over atmosphere
Laughs at a gasping gnarled pine.
In this silence the city I knew,
My home and my shelter,
Has drowned under raging sea
On a thousand-mile distant
Shore, rippling sand, tides
That whisper nostalgia and
Rows of dying oysters who
Imagine great whales singing,
Spouting out their pearls.
Safari
Once I'd completed time at university
My flight to discover life launched in
A search for purpose, more than trivia
Beneath the Great Pyramids' shadows.
Bathed in full moon's silver light
I am waiting, amazed at history
While futures swoop out of the sky,
Out of the stars grinning above.
Two thousand miles off on the Serengeti
I imagine hyenas laughing at me,
Poor student drifting down from Alexandria
Precarious on a raft of Nile reeds,
Laughing at this voyage to our beginnings
Raking parched desert before the climb
Upon Kilimanjaro to witness god.
My flight to discover life launched in
A search for purpose, more than trivia
Beneath the Great Pyramids' shadows.
Bathed in full moon's silver light
I am waiting, amazed at history
While futures swoop out of the sky,
Out of the stars grinning above.
Two thousand miles off on the Serengeti
I imagine hyenas laughing at me,
Poor student drifting down from Alexandria
Precarious on a raft of Nile reeds,
Laughing at this voyage to our beginnings
Raking parched desert before the climb
Upon Kilimanjaro to witness god.
Modern Malady
What have we left beyond
A twisted earth and this cheap
Memory of walking naked on sand?
Immortal sky, silent tombs.
Fill my chalice with wine,
Drunk and sick on the halt of time.
It was night when heaven fell,
Dark cloaking like curtain
In this, my dream of destruction.
A twisted earth and this cheap
Memory of walking naked on sand?
Immortal sky, silent tombs.
Fill my chalice with wine,
Drunk and sick on the halt of time.
It was night when heaven fell,
Dark cloaking like curtain
In this, my dream of destruction.
Contemporaries
Coming out of the cave
I read poetry by women
With the names of birds,
Names that say "sin" in
The language of night.
Boats rock and sail on
As stars pale with dawn.
Ah, a new mythology!
Gaias, round and proud,
We birth the future.
I read poetry by women
With the names of birds,
Names that say "sin" in
The language of night.
Boats rock and sail on
As stars pale with dawn.
Ah, a new mythology!
Gaias, round and proud,
We birth the future.
In Memorium: Van Gogh
Life and breath, I sigh, for
I am the fear of rejection
Antithesis of ego, artist
Swept up in a dream of beauty,
A dream too short with a hole
Straight through the heart.
Blood spurting, I gasp
For help, help, for air.
I am the fear of rejection
Antithesis of ego, artist
Swept up in a dream of beauty,
A dream too short with a hole
Straight through the heart.
Blood spurting, I gasp
For help, help, for air.
Meteora
My mother's ear infection developed
The night shooting stars flew in rage,
Fleeing terror at the immensity
Of space between themselves.
Air howled, proclaimed November's pain,
Cheeks pressed against windows
Lost their pigment, frozen white
Like the awe I knew would fade
Once the Orionids spent their flight.
Midnight had already sailed past
And dad thought we were crazy,
Flat on the kitchen floor staring
Skyward, wondering if we might
Catch a piece of heaven as it fell.
One last meteor streaked the west,
So near we could see flames,
Feel heat from a universe gone mad.
The night shooting stars flew in rage,
Fleeing terror at the immensity
Of space between themselves.
Air howled, proclaimed November's pain,
Cheeks pressed against windows
Lost their pigment, frozen white
Like the awe I knew would fade
Once the Orionids spent their flight.
Midnight had already sailed past
And dad thought we were crazy,
Flat on the kitchen floor staring
Skyward, wondering if we might
Catch a piece of heaven as it fell.
One last meteor streaked the west,
So near we could see flames,
Feel heat from a universe gone mad.
Poetry Poll
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Moon, Mood and Weather
Full moon Tuesday, waiting.
Where is the rain they promised?
Cars glitter in the sun.
Golden girl with a cigarette
Way too young to know.
What is life to you?
A hunt, a sport,
A chance to change the world?
Strange relations, mood
And weather.
Tuesday afternoon is eager
For night, for Wednesday,
For one last chance to flee
The full moon's pull.
Where is the rain they promised?
Cars glitter in the sun.
Golden girl with a cigarette
Way too young to know.
What is life to you?
A hunt, a sport,
A chance to change the world?
Strange relations, mood
And weather.
Tuesday afternoon is eager
For night, for Wednesday,
For one last chance to flee
The full moon's pull.
The Water Remembers
I was sure you had forgotten
That night on the shore, that
Drunken night when you said
Listen...the water is
Whispering memories.
Stunned into silence, I waited
And heard tales of lust,
Tasted salt from tears shed
For the dead a thousand years ago.
I was sure you had forgotten
Until the night we went to war,
The night you called to say
Go to the beach,
Wait for my voice.
That night on the shore, that
Drunken night when you said
Listen...the water is
Whispering memories.
Stunned into silence, I waited
And heard tales of lust,
Tasted salt from tears shed
For the dead a thousand years ago.
I was sure you had forgotten
Until the night we went to war,
The night you called to say
Go to the beach,
Wait for my voice.
Innocence Lost
Every winter my lips chap and split
Assaulted by worried teeth
Time slips past and loses itself
Like my body lost in your sheets
Forgets we are not in love.
The rage sown in my heart
May take years to bloom,
Perhaps, bourne by wind and wave,
In some other innocent bed
Where love dies for want of words,
Or poetry pierced by bullets or blades
Lies bleeding in the dark.
Every winter a new love, another war
Time slips past and Time forgets.
Assaulted by worried teeth
Time slips past and loses itself
Like my body lost in your sheets
Forgets we are not in love.
The rage sown in my heart
May take years to bloom,
Perhaps, bourne by wind and wave,
In some other innocent bed
Where love dies for want of words,
Or poetry pierced by bullets or blades
Lies bleeding in the dark.
Every winter a new love, another war
Time slips past and Time forgets.
Lover's Hell
Lover's Hell (summer of 1989)
You teased me along when I took
The bait you offered, but now
You won't let me off the hook.
What rare fruit, these dreams
Of perfection and exquisite pain
Left, like a pet, at your mercy.
Sharp stabbing blade that you wield,
Twisting as laughter echoes
Round shaded rooms in my soul.
You teased me with hope, fantasy,
With promises of love eternal.
Wicked lies from smiling eyes
A cruel way to soothe my suffering.
Miles of hopeless lifeline trail
Between my crippled grasping hands.
You teased me along when I took
The bait you offered, but now
You won't let me off the hook.
What rare fruit, these dreams
Of perfection and exquisite pain
Left, like a pet, at your mercy.
Sharp stabbing blade that you wield,
Twisting as laughter echoes
Round shaded rooms in my soul.
You teased me with hope, fantasy,
With promises of love eternal.
Wicked lies from smiling eyes
A cruel way to soothe my suffering.
Miles of hopeless lifeline trail
Between my crippled grasping hands.
Comedy Obscene
The fruits of winter lie
Ripening in some animal corpse
Left rotting on the lawn,
A comedy obscene...
Death's sweet red garden
A resting place for fools
Whose blood drained and dried,
Dark sign, unreadable stain
Of help that's on its way
But always never arrives.
Ripening in some animal corpse
Left rotting on the lawn,
A comedy obscene...
Death's sweet red garden
A resting place for fools
Whose blood drained and dried,
Dark sign, unreadable stain
Of help that's on its way
But always never arrives.
Disease
How useless, pink, and sad
The rose from a boy I used to love
Being gnawed by my grinning cat.
Deep in my mind a wracking
Cough begins...
Pneumonia?
Tuberculosis?
Winter is marching
Into view with cold precision.
Petals brown and crisp,
Drop gentle to the floor and rest,
Saved in this asylum
Where Thorazine numbs my rage.
The rose from a boy I used to love
Being gnawed by my grinning cat.
Deep in my mind a wracking
Cough begins...
Pneumonia?
Tuberculosis?
Winter is marching
Into view with cold precision.
Petals brown and crisp,
Drop gentle to the floor and rest,
Saved in this asylum
Where Thorazine numbs my rage.
Circus Tragedy
Your high wire act dream of flight
Without wing, without motor
Or blade propellant.
Fate would not dare take you
Who lived wild as fire, wild
As lions before the circus safari.
That musical motion gave away
Your notion of a silent dance.
Courage and confetti set your feet
Here, high above the ring,
Desired object of painted smiles.
Children with balloons untethered
Making some great escape,rising
Into your arena, balance lost,
Balloons and bursting hearts.
Without wing, without motor
Or blade propellant.
Fate would not dare take you
Who lived wild as fire, wild
As lions before the circus safari.
That musical motion gave away
Your notion of a silent dance.
Courage and confetti set your feet
Here, high above the ring,
Desired object of painted smiles.
Children with balloons untethered
Making some great escape,rising
Into your arena, balance lost,
Balloons and bursting hearts.
Love and Detox
Late afternoon, November 15 my phone
Disturbed sleep sleep brought on by codeine
After the cat gashed my head
Into railroad tracks, after
Excess Novacaine swelled my face.
Lovely Julie was crying
On the line because she took $300
Loaned to her for rent and
Spent it on an eightball...
Baby snorted six grams by herself.
I cried too when she said
Nothing got her high anymore.
See, Julie burned a hole straight
Into her brain, and in our sorry
World where body's beauty is the one rule,
Fine white powder was far better fuel
For us, choice pieces of meat, than food
Or vitamins, or love...
Still, I have just kept clinging to
My poems, to novels written
By some other great mind destined to
Save me, say it's all right.
Disturbed sleep sleep brought on by codeine
After the cat gashed my head
Into railroad tracks, after
Excess Novacaine swelled my face.
Lovely Julie was crying
On the line because she took $300
Loaned to her for rent and
Spent it on an eightball...
Baby snorted six grams by herself.
I cried too when she said
Nothing got her high anymore.
See, Julie burned a hole straight
Into her brain, and in our sorry
World where body's beauty is the one rule,
Fine white powder was far better fuel
For us, choice pieces of meat, than food
Or vitamins, or love...
Still, I have just kept clinging to
My poems, to novels written
By some other great mind destined to
Save me, say it's all right.
2009 Poet's Market
Read My Other Writings at:
- Tammy Winand's Helium Page
- Read and rate my "articles" on the Helium writers' community.
- Aurelia...Chrysalis Emerging
- My creative writing blog, which includes updates on WIP as well as writing exercises and samples. Updated randomly.
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Kylyssa
Mar 25, 2010 @ 1:45 pm | delete
- Beautiful poetry! Thank you for sharing.
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inkserotica
Mar 22, 2010 @ 2:00 pm | delete
- Congratulations! This lens has been featured on GSHH :) You can view the review here:
http://givingsquidsahelpinghand.blogspot.com/2010/03/crypticfragments-poetry.html
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tandemonimom Mar 31, 2009 @ 10:57 pm | delete
- BEAUTIFUL! 5***** and favorited!
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Pastiche
Feb 4, 2009 @ 7:05 pm | delete
- You should be reading every week ... your imagery and emotion work well. Find an open mike and do it! Lensrolled to Alan Wilbar, poet and tbi survivor.
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aquariann
Dec 18, 2008 @ 2:45 pm | delete
- Gorgeous poetry! I'm curious as to why you no longer write it? I haven't written much since high school, but I've been giving a lot of thought to seriously attempting it again.
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New Haiku 2010
I resumed writing poetry in February 2010, inspired by recent travels in north India as well as a transformative experience with the Tibetan exile community there.
by CrypticFragments
Tammy Winand was born and raised in south central Pennsylvania. Her passion for far off places and cultures developed through contact with foreign pen... more »
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