Daily Journals-A Key To Success

Start out by writing the date like this, Sunday, January 29, 1995. Then add something from the headlines for that day. SAN FRANCISCO 49'ERS BEAT SAN DIEGO CHARGERS IN SUPER BOWL 49 to 26.

Here's another example. Monday, January 30, 1995, PROSECUTOR MARSHA CLARK FILES FOR INCREASE IN CHILD SUPPORT: "Needs more help to pay for children's nannies due to personal cost for new clothes and makeup for O.J. Simpson Trial."

Putting something from the headlines at the start of the journal does several things. First, it gives other people some perspective about the time frame you are talking about. If you pick a major event from the local or national headlines, many people will recall that event. By being able to briefly remind them of the event, your statements about the day are more credible. The second reason to add a headline to your journal is that it helps yo u to remember the events of your life more clearly because it helps you to tie them together with outside events. Finally, by starting with the headlines - you can help avoid the problem of writers block.

When writing your journal use a K.I.S.S. format, Keep It Simple Stupid. One of the best ways to keep your writing simple, but also make it thorough, is to answer the following questions about the events of the day.

• Who did what?
• Where and when did they do it?
• How did they do it?

If you are the person who is doing the actions, you may should also answer: Why I did I do it?

When you are writing about the days events try to draw a picture of the events for your reader. Talk about the sights, sounds, colors, smells, weather, etc. involved in those events. Don't try to describe other peoples thoughts. Instead describe their actions in such a way as to allow the reader to interpret them for him or herself. For example: Don't say, "John was mad!", but say, "I thought John was mad because he was yelling very loudly, his face was red, and the veins on John's face and neck were popping out. John was waving his arms about. His hands were clenched in a fist."

Remember little things count and should be recorded in your journal. Most parents spend very small amounts of their time taking their children to Disneyland or the Smithsonian Institute. Parents spend a great deal of time cooking, cleaning, disciplining their children, reading to their children, and taking them to doctors, dentists and little league.

All of these types of activities should be documented in your daily journal. One of the hurdles divorced/single fathers still face is the stereotypical presumption that men do not do cooking, cleaning and care giving. By putting things like daily menus, and household tasks completed in your journal, you help dispel the notion that MOM does all the care giving with the children. Be sure to include the discussions you have with your children and the advice that you give them. When the kids get in trouble, describe the incident and how and why you handled it the way you did.

It is important to be able to show that you are thinking about your children even on days you do not have them. You can do this by describing activities like:

• The parenting classes you are taking;
• The shopping you did for your children;
• The meal preparations you made for the upcoming weekend;
• The conference you had with your child's teachers;
• The article you read in PARENT'S MAGAZINE; and
• The letter you wrote to your congressman/woman about the importance of fathers being involved in the lives of their children.

By writing about these events, you show that you are loving, caring and nurturing as a parent ALL THE TIME and that it is in the "best interests of your children" to have more time with you.

Try to write down word for word any conversation that you have with the other side word for word in your journal. If you have recorded a conversation from the other side transcribe it as accurately as possible. You need to show that you are willing to communicate with the other side in a cooperative, nonthreatening manner.

Be certain that you inform the other side about the activities that you and the children did when they were with you. Ask the other side to keep you updated about the activities they are doing with the children. If the other side is not willing to communicate with you or is making threats toward you, make doubly certain to get this written down in your journal.

If you correspond with the other side and your children in writing (even if it is just to send a birthday card) make certain to keep a copy of that document. NEVER, NEVER, NEVER, make any threats verbally or in writing to the other side. Anything threats you make to the other side are bound to come back to haunt you even if you are totally justified in making those threats. Remember, a good lawyer can make a mountain out of a molehill.

When you write letters to the other side, the letters should be short and business like. You should write the letters like you were writing to a potential business client who could give you a 10 billion dollar deal. In other words, don't say anything that could be taken as offensive.

Before you send letters to the other side, have someone proofread it. Your proofreader must be willing to tell you if she thinks the other side would find anything you say to be offensive. If your proofreader thinks there is even the possibility that the other side would find your letter offense, you should change the letter.

Writing about all your anger and frustrations is a good way to deal with those feelings. Just make certain that you don't send your angry letters to the other side. You also should avoid making angry or emotional comments in your journal. Write these thoughts on a clean piece of paper and then feed them to a good campfire.

Supplement your daily journal with a daily calendar.

Making some notations on a calendar should not be substituted for writing a more formal daily journal. However, a calendar showing your activities with the children can be a highly effective presentation device in court.

Keep your activities in a bright royal blue or red. Keep the other sides activities in a light green or yellow or just plain black. That way when the judge sees your calendar he/she will notice your activities standing out.

If you are frequently being denied parental time sharing (visitation) with your children, you might consider writing DENIED TIME WITH CHILDREN on the calendar in a very bold red or blaze orange.

Remember, a trail - court hearing is nothing more than an audio video presentation. Colored graphs, charts, and calendars are an extremely effective way of getting your points across to the judge. When you have highly professional exhibits to show to the judge, not only does the judge's ears have to fall before he does not hear your argument, his eyes must fall asleep too.

Supplement your journal with lots of pictures. They will help back up what you wrote in your journal. Make certain that your pictures have notations on them as to who took the picture, when the picture was taken, who is in the picture, and where it was taken.

Buy a computer and learn how to use it. The best way to keep a daily journal is on a computer, saving the files daily to Marked Pass Word Protected Memory Stick.

Remember that if you go back and alter an entry, or try copying it to a new file, even under the same name, this will show in the File Properties and your whole journal could be rejected.

Computers run as little as $300 you can buy a computer that can make graphs, charts, and calendars, act as a word processor (which can check your spelling and grammar), keep track of all your calls, and your finances.

No one else can do as much to win your case as you can, and a computer is the most important tool you can use to help you help yourself. Computers also offer another benefit in that there are lots of games and educational activities you can share with your children.

Show your journal to your attorney on a regular basis and make a copy of your journal for him or her. Your attorney can tell you about things that you are doing well in your journal and things you need to improve on. We often have found that the only preparation m any attorneys do on family law cases is to review their clients' journals. Make certain that your attorney has your journal far in advance of any court date that you have.