Tips for Carers of Dementia Sufferers

I came across an article some time ago which gave a simple yet a very good description of dementia. It stated that 'Dementia occurs when the nerve cells of the brain are destroyed more rapidly than normal'.

In the case of dementia patients, this persists and memory loss starts interfering in the individual's life. Brain cells begin to die. It is not the customary forgetting related with old age. Here, simple daily tasks become more and more complicated until eventually become impossible to perform.

Experts say that 'It is the price society has to pay for higher life expectancy'. Infact, since elderly people are on the increase, its prevalence is expected to rise drastically over the coming years.

Interestingly enough is the fact that it is generally, the persons closest to the sufferers who initially notice that things are no longer going as quite right as they should. Persons with dementia will try their utmost to hide the fact that the usual routine is no longer so automatic to do. Unfortunately, there is no turning back time remedy.

The aim of care givers is ultimately to give them the tools to let them lead a quasi normal life as much as possible. No need to pamper them excessively. It will only make matters worse.

These tips are especially targeted to those carers whose loved ones :-

1. Have just been diagnosed (Pre-dementia) or in their early stages (Early
dementia)
2. Particularly to dementia associated with third age, normally over 65 years of age
3. Living in the same household

You are obviously limited, depending on factors such as to what extent the condition has progressed or the physical limitations they may already have. You are also going to encounter some 'NO, NO' days.

If the patient is living on his own, there will be other issues that will need addressing, such as safety at home, medication and the possibility of moving into a retirement home. Every circumstance will need its own evaluation.

Let them live their life, even if with limitations.

So, if they used to form part of a social club, go to a weekly bingo night, was a member of an amateur military uniform society, whatever it is that they loved doing, encourage them to continue. Anything will do as long as they are kept busy.

Just advise the person in charge to keep an eye on them. Give them your mobile number, just in case something crops up.

Entice them to learn how to play a new game, to attend a language course or enrol in senior citizen university.

Organise outings. Take them to visit museums, exhibitions, go to auctions or organise an evening at the theatre with a nice meal afterwards. Dig out what they like and act accordingly.

Do not force them to have a bath/shower, especially if they moved into your home and everything seems new to them.

If they are used to utilise a wash basin for self-cleaning, so be it. Do not change any of their habitual routines.

They do not usually remember the day, month or season we're in and hence wear the first thing that comes in handy. They may pick up clothes to wear from the laundry basket instead of from the wardrobe. They may put on their pyjamas to go out.

They may loose colour co-ordination, putting on a pink sweater with green trousers and an orange jacket on top, for instance.

They may want to wear the same colour every day.

It may also happen that they do not dress up properly, first putting on their cardigan, then shirt on top, for example. So prepare their clothing. Place in the order that it's going to be worn. Ensure garments are comfortable and not complicated to wear.

Mark the drawers 'Trousers', 'Underwear' etc., thus making it easier for them.

Do not alternate coats, scarves, gloves, handbags or other personal belongings they are used to wear. If out on their own, they may not recognise that it's theirs. Label the item. If you can't do otherwise, give them some time to get used to the new accessory.

The person may become incontinent, so be ready to have some extra laundry to do. Try to encourage incontinence diapers. But be prepared to find resistance. Keep a mobile toilet in their bedroom, where possible.

Even if you already know the answer. What would you like to eat? Do you feel like a snack? Do you prefer an apple or an orange? Where would you like to go for a walk? This will keep them alert.

Such repetitive tasks can become automatic in their daily regime. It keeps them stimulated. They may peel the vegetables, wash the dishes, clear dead leaves from the patio. It's a win-win situation. Even if they take ages to do the task, praise them and say 'Thank You' as soon as the job is done. This will make them feel useful.

Do not frown if, for instance, after finishing wiping the dishes, these end up on the drainer from where they originated. Re-start the whole process again. Let them do.

They normally look at but do not follow what's on. Every now and then, ask something about the subject, e.g. ask for the recipe if watching a cookery class. This helps to keep them focused.

Nevertheless, doing the above depends on how far the condition progressed. In time, they will not be able to keep up with what's happening on tv. It will be too fast for them leading up to an extent that they will not distinguish between fact and fiction. Let me give you an example on this one :-

They may be watching the news and during the break, there's a commercial featuring motorbikes. They link one thing to the other and relate that there has been an accident and several motorbikes were involved.

You see, a combination of news (fact) and bikes (fiction)!

Keep books, newspapers, magazines, leaflets casually running around. It doesn't matter if they're stuck reading the same article for a whole afternoon or if they gaze at an advert and analyse every single detail.

What are particularly helpful are childrens' books especially those containing letters and numbers. Look for things that are mentally challenging. Buy kids' memory games, jigsaw puzzles, crossword and word search books, whatever that might be, to keep their mind from wandering away.

Keep a large clock, preferably even showing the day and date in the same room where they spend the majority of their time. This will prevent from asking some 20+ times the same question on the day's date and time.

The purchasing power of goods and services diminish over time, but not for dementia sufferers. Everything will seem expensive for them. If and when out on their own ensure they have enough cash in hand.

They may forget to pay or will have already paid and want to re-pay, so advise of the situation to the shop attendants of stores in the neighbourhood, which they most likely might visit: the grocery store, the confectionery, the bakery, the newsagent.

As time goes by, you will notice that their personality changes instantly. One moment, they're jovial and the next withdrawn and all teary. Anything that passes through their mind can trigger this.

They may recall a sad or ugly episode that happened some years back and relive the incident as if it just happened. This may be the demise of a loved one, a break in, a bad accident, a heated argument with someone close.

At times, they will become particularly demanding, over critical and self centred. They will not realise they are being so mean. Do not blame them and do not take it personally. It's the condition that's talking not the person - someone once told me. And that's very true.

Try to figure out when these changes occur. Is it in the morning, afternoon, after they take their medication, when? Keep a journal and act accordingly.

Be proactive. When you notice that they are heading the downward slope, find a deviation. Go out for a walk, have some fresh air, phone a family member or a friend. This will help keep their mind off de-motivating factors.

Small, frequent meals. Breakfast, lunch and dinner with two healthy snacks in between. Last sitting should not be late, latest half-six, seven. Keep them hydrated. Leave small bottles of water within ease of reach.

They pass through phases. At one extreme, they refuse to eat whilst at the other end, devour every single thing they see edible. In such a case, leave healthy snacks handy, some fresh fruit, crudities, nuts.

Do not serve food as soon as it is ready. It should neither be too hot nor too cold. As time goes by, you may need to cut food into small chunks and eventually liquidise it.

There has been some debate about the relation of aluminium to Alzheimer's disease. It can be found in processed cheeses, cake mixes, some processed foods, toothpaste tubes and foil. Do not take chances. Read the labels. Avoid deodorants, shampoos and certain medication such as antacids that contain aluminium.

When cooking use only stainless steel and glass cookware.

The earlier you accept the situation, the better you will be able to cope.

Do not try to find a reason to all this. Do not spend endless sleepless nights trying to figure out why all this is happening. Stop asking and start doing. The sooner the better.

Do not challenge or make resistance or try to proof a point. It will deteriorate matters which might end up in a tantrum or even worse become over protective or aggressive. When you get angry, leave the room for just a couple of minutes.

I know this can be very difficult at times, but dedicate some time for yourself. Wake up 10 minutes earlier in the morning and have a cup of warm drink in bed. Don't think. Don't do anything. Just be. You deserve it.

This may sound selfish, but don't let this situation rule your life. Don't make it your top priority. For your own sake. Treat it as if it's another chore you add to your daily list of tasks.

Learn something new, even if bound at home. With today's technology, through internet, you can learn a bunch of new things. Find your favourite topic and research. Socialise on the net and meet people who share your same interests.

Don't feel guilty when you lose your cool. Everybody is human. At times, you may feel lonely especially when nobody around fully understands what you have to go through day in, day out. You may find friction even from close family members, thinking that you are blowing up the whole matter.

Having to face this situation 24/7 can eventually leave its toll in all three facets of your life - emotionally, logically and physically.

It has been estimated that over 50% of carers end up with depression. Don't be another statistic. You find it heartbroken when you see your loved one deteriorate in such a manner and can't do anything to halt the process. But on the other hand, you feel like screaming and banging your head against the wall as you never seem to do anything right from their point of view.

Change your perspective. Remember that you are doing your best and a great job that not every Tom, Dick and Harry takes the plunge to face.