Developing Effective Communication Skills

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When we communicate effectively, our message is received clearly and concisely. It doesn't matter if it's a verbal communication, or a written message such as a letter, memo, or e-mail.

When speaking, is your body language sending one message while your words are conveying another? Are you sending mixed signals? Be sure your tone and body language match the message you are trying to convey.

Communication is a two-way street. We receive messages as often as we send them. Do we really listen to what is being said? Listen to the tone. Is the speaker's body language speaking louder than their words? When in doubt, ask for clarification.

Listen to what is actually being said. Don't make assumptions or jump to conclusions. Acknowledging what someone is saying doesn't mean you have to agree or disagree with them. You can learn a great deal by simply listening to others.

Give your listener the information he needs to understand what you're saying. If you made an observation you're not happy with, consider this: Tell them what you observed, how you feel about it or how you interpret the situation, what you want to happen, and then tell them how you feel that could be accomplished. Telling your son you are not happy with the state of his bedroom will not accomplish much. Telling him why you are unhappy about it, what you want done and when, might get the job done. Clear directions followed with why you want something done a particular way, is usually more effective that simply giving directions or orders.

The meaning behind our words can be enhanced or can be misconstrued depending on the body language that accompanies it. When a listener receives mixed signals, they are forced to choose between the verbal and the nonverbal communication. More often than not they will choose to believe the nonverbal aspect of the message. Mixed messages can create tension and distrust.

I am a teacher and am comfortable standing in front of a room full of students. I can communicate the material well and have a good rapport with my students. Take me out of the classroom and put me in a social setting such as a party, and I want to migrate toward the wall and stay there. Different situations require different Communication Skills. I find it difficult to create small talk with people I do not know well. It is a communication skill I need to work on.

Good communication skills require a high level of self-awareness. Assess your skills. By understanding your own communication style, it's easier to change and improve it. Strong communication skills will go a long way in creating a lasting impression on others.

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