A Proverbs 31 Woman

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Becoming a Proverbs 31 Woman

As a Christian wife and mother, I find myself wanting to be a Proverbs 31 Woman. I strive to be all that she is. In doing so, I often find that I am trying to be all that she was, all at one time. Do you find yourself doing this? Do you find that you try to be a homemaker, business person, a giver of wise council, profitable in your dealings, able to spin fabrics or do other arts and crafts to beautify your home, and be faithful to the Lord all at once? The Proverbs 31 woman is said to be more precious than rubies, because of all that she does. I challenge you though, to find anywhere in Proverbs 31 that states she did all these things at the same time.

So often, I think we, as women living in the 21st century, try too hard to be all that society tells us we should be, while also attempting to keep that Word of God uppermost in our lives. I think that we forget that society is not the ruler by which we should measure ourselves. When we fall into the trap of perfectionistic performance, we subject ourselves to all manner of feelings that lead us into sinful behaviors and to have sinful feelings. Feelings of worry, anxiety, worthlessness, anger, self-pity, and on and on. How can we be givers of wise council, if the lives we lead to not illustrate that which would give glory to the Lord?

What happens to you when you feel worried, anxious, or unworthy? Do you, like me, take it out on those closest to you? Do you cease to be a mother whose "children stand and bless her" Proverbs 31:28 (NLT) or a wife whose "husband praises her." Proverbs 31:28 (NLT) Are you "clothed in strength and dignity, laughing without fear of the future"? Are your words "wise" and do you "give instructions with kindness"? Proverbs 31:25,26 (NLT)

We that are called to be wives and/or mothers are not called to perfection. We are called to be examples to our children of what Godly living is all about, and to be helpmates to our husbands. We are also called to be Titus 2 women: to "teach others what is good. These older women must train the younger women to love their husbands and their children, to live wisely and be pure, to work in their homes, to do good and to be submissive to their husbands. Then they will not bring shame on the word of God." Titus 2:3-5 We cannot do this if we are trying so hard that we miss the prize.

A Proverbs 31 Woman lens hopes to help you in your endeavors to be a Proverbs 31 Woman without trying to be one all at one time.  Please visit our website and our blogs for information and resources to help in your day to day quest to be more precious than rubies. 

The Best Blessing

And another almost as good

To you first, God, having raised up His Servant Jesus, sent Him to bless you, in turning away every one of you from your iniquities. Acts 3:26 NKJV

On November 13, 2004, my mother passed away suddenly of a heart attack in her sleep. She was 48 years old, and looked healthier than she had in years. (She had suffered through cancer, physical abuse, a gastric bypass and reversal- due to malnutrition, along with a host of other things.) Her passing devastated me. I was not yet a believer in my Lord. My mother and I had a love/ hate relationship for most of my life, but we were beginning to be friends when she died. In fact, I thank the Lord that the day before her death, she spent the day at my house playing with my kids and visiting with me. That in itself was a blessing, but not the one I want to talk to you about.

I spent the next three weeks in a grief induced daze. I became depressed and anxious; unable to sleep and unable to eat. I became a hollow eyed, skeleton of myself. But the worst was yet to come. On December 7, 2004, my husband learned that I had been spending money on some credit cards he thought were paid off, and I had kept this a secret from him. He wanted a divorce. A time when I thought I could feel no more pain, brought shards of glass shooting into my heart. The one best thing in my life, aside from my children, was going and it was all my fault for my deception. I now became passively suicidal- meaning that although I wasn't going to do it myself, I wished for an end to come. I also resented my children because they were the only thing that kept me from ending my life. I found myself wishing I didn't have them, because then I could end it. I knew where the gun was. I knew where the pills were, but I wouldn't leave them like I was.

I had begun seeing a counselor and taking medication for my depression and trauma, but as much as he was helping me to deal with the day to day grief, I was still only a shell of myself. I sat on my back porch one evening, thinking of the mess I had made of my life, wondering where I would go from here. Then a thought came to me. I remembered a time when I was young and upset about something that had happened, and had cried myself to sleep. While I was asleep, I had a dream that I crawled up into the lap of Jesus and as he cradled me like a baby, I cried out my tears of pain and he comforted me.

The Best Blessing Part 2

Now, for me this was huge. I was not a believer at this point in my life, but to remember something about a Savior I had long ago dismissed as fancy, and even argued against in conversation, and for that to be the only comfort I could think of.. I just fell to my knees. For the first time in years, I cried out to Him. I asked Him to save my marriage. I made promises, knowing full well that that isn't how He works (I remembered that from my childhood.) However the promise I made was not that I would be good, not that I would quit sinning, but that I would never doubt Him again. That I would follow Him all the rest of my days.

Now, I'm not so deluded as to think that God granted my prayer only because I made promises, but He did answer my prayer- rather quickly even. My husband had barely spoken to me in about two weeks. Him- the always affectionate husband, had not come near me to hug or kiss me in all that time. He was distancing himself for the divorce to come. However, not 10 minutes after I cried out to the Lord and asked Him to save my marriage, my husband joined me on the back porch, gave me a hug and a kiss and said that he had been thinking about it and wanted to work on our marriage, because he did love me! Now let me be clear here. No one knew I had just prayed and in fact would be shocked to learn that I would be keeping the promise I had just made. Especially that I had made such a promise.

While the answer to my prayer was and is a blessing- my husband and I are happily married now and have since had another child; the blessing that God gave me that day was turning me from my sinful ways. It was a painful lesson to be sure, and not one that I would like to repeat; but I would do it all again, to know the peace that only a love of God, and acceptance of Jesus as my Savior has brought to my life. I still have rough days, and the depression that my mother's death caused to be diagnosed, still lingers (it is genetic, not just stress induced); but I have peace knowing that my God will see me through, so long as I depend on Him, and not on myself.

If my story has touched you, won't you please consider asking God into your life, and accepting Christ as your Savior, if you have not already? And if you have, take a moment and thank God for the blessings he's bestowed upon you. Not just the obvious ones, but also the turning you away from your iniquities.

Blessings by Shalene Kearney

As Posted to A Proverbs 31 Woman Wannabe blog

Howbeit thou art just in all that is brought upon us; for thou hast done right, but we have done wickedly: Neither have our kings, our princes, our priests, nor our fathers, kept thy law, nor hearkened unto thy commandments and thy testimonies, wherewith thou didst testify against them. For they have not served thee in their kingdom, and in thy great goodness that thou gavest them, and in the large and fat land which thou gavest before them, neither turned they from their wicked works. Behold, we are servants this day, and for the land that thou gavest unto our fathers to eat the fruit thereof and the good thereof, behold, we are servants in it: Nehemiah 9:33-37 (KJV)

How often have you thought about all the blessings in your life? All those people and things that you have been given by the Lord? I don't think about them as blessings often enough. Oh, I think of them as blessings everyday, but that's still not often enough. I don't think about them as blessings that I need to give genuine thanks for every day.

The Lord has been merciful to all of us! Not one of us has gotten what they deserve, and yet we've been given so much that we don't deserve. Our blessings come so abundantly that we forget that they don't come free. We are to give thanks to Him that "giveth and taketh away" because He can and very likely will take it away, if we don't turn from our sinful ways and turn back to Him. Just as the Jews were made servants in the land that they had been given, we too can have our blessings removed if we don't take the time to thank Him for His provision.

We that believe that Christ is our saviour and have confessed with our mouths that He is Lord, cannot have our salvation taken from us, but what a dreadful existence this earthly life would be, at least for me, if I did not have the blessings of a loving family, a warm home, food to eat, the sun shining on my face each morning, warm clothes, the laughter of my children, not to mention all my material possessions; and there are SO many more. So today, I implore you, take the time to really notice all the blessings in your life, and thank Him for them. It's so little to ask really. And show Him that your thanks are sincere, by allowing the Holy Spirit to move within you, and to keep you from your sinful tendencies.

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John Piper on the prosperity gospel 0 points

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Come All Ye Who Are Weary

Part 1

Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy to bear and the burden I give you is light. Matthew 11:28-29 (NLT)

Do you carry a heavy load? One that just bears down on you? I'm not talking a physical load, and neither was Jesus, when he spoke these words. He was talking about emotional loads. Those day to day worries, and oppressive thoughts that just seem to wear you down.

Jesus was talking about any number of things. It could mean the heaviness of the sin in your life, excessive demands, oppression and persecution, or even weariness in your search for God. In my life, my burden is excessive "busyness". The excessive demands I've placed upon myself. I've become "addicted" to the hustle and bustle that I've created for myself. I look back at the end of the day though, and think "Just what have I truly accomplished? Are my kids secure in their knowledge of my love and the Lord's? Is my husband secure in his knowledge of my love?" When do we say, enough is enough, and start living life simplistically?

Come All Ye Who Are Weary

(cont'd)

I began reading a book last night, that I can't wait to finish, not because I want to hurry up and get it done, but because I'm really enjoying what I've read so far. The book is titled 'Breathe' by Keri Wyatt Kent. I've only read the introduction and already there have been some profound truths echoing from within the pages. She compares herself to Wile E Coyote grasping at the air as he falls to the canyon floor. What a description! Now this post is not intended to be a book review, but the book is the reason for this post.

I told a friend recently that I wasn't doing all that much in my life, and then began listing what I was doing. Writing the list made me tired! I need to get back in tune with the Lord, and take time to rest and seek out what Keri calls in the book "Sabbath Simplicity." And that is to take time every day in solitude with my Lord, seek out His plan for my life, and really listen to what He wants for me. I cannot expect to hear the "still, quiet voice" from within the din surrounding me.

If you find yourself in this same situation often, if not daily and hourly, I urge you, take time out to be with God, I mean really be with him. Turn off your cell phones and your pagers; go somewhere quiet; take your bible, a notebook,(and I don't mean your laptop) and a pen, and really listen to what He is telling you! It may take awhile before the din quiets within your mind. But don't give up. God in His infinite wisdom, speaks to us with a "still small voice" for a reason. He wants to be your intimate friend, and He has sent a Counselor to live within us. Won't you stop and listen to what He's saying today?

---Lord, I pray that today, you give me the strength and the wisdom to know when to say yes and when to say no. I ask that you show me the time that I can sit and be with you, Lord. Show me how to put You first, my marriage second, and my children third. Help me to see that everything else comes after- Not before. I want to hear Your still quiet voice, directing my life, and I want to glorify Your Name in all I do. I ask these things in Jesus' Holy Name.
Amen

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by

Shalene

I am a Christian wife and mother to 4 beautiful children, ages 14, 11, 5 and 22 months.  I have been covered by the grace of God, and wish to pass... more »

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