Divorce Your Stress!

Stress ? I'm talking to YOU!

I've had enough of you.

Can't stand having you around any longer. I'm talking to you, Stress. Yes, you!

You came into my life and you've been trouble ever since.

Divorce your stress

You make my heart beat faster, I can't sleep at night, I worry all the time. And what do I get in return? High blood pressure, that's what I get.

Well, Stress, I'm telling you straight. You're toast. You're out the door.

Stress, I'm divorcing you.

You can take your adrenaline surges and put them where the sun don't shine. No more Stress.

It's the parting of the ways for us. I'm going one way and you, Stress, can go where you like, as long as you go away.

Planning your way out

There's a lot of good stress management advice around but it tends to be rather general. What you need is a plan of action which works for you - and which you're going to stick with.

Write out a timetable.

It might be yoga on Thursdays (hilarious yoga photo), a night out with the girls/guys on Saturday, find an accountant who'll deal with the whole mess..whatever. Then tick things off your list as you do them.

You'll feel a whole lot better because you'll see you're making some progress towards your goal.

More seriously

If you're suffering from stress, one trick is to think of it as a real person. Give it a name and an identity.

Even if the stress is caused by someone real, think of the stress itself as a person. Then tell it to get lost.

Think of it as a marriage partner. You've been tied together but you know the relationship is bad for you. So being a modern person, what do you do? You get a divorce. (No lawyer's fees when you divorce Stress).

You sit down and plan exactly what you're going to do and you carry out that plan.

Why does this work?

Stress is often caused because you feel you've lost control of some aspect of your life. You feel threatened by this (that's the famous "Fight or Flight" mechanism kicking in).

If you're suffering from long term stress you need to regain that feeling of control.

Achieving something, however little, towards your goal of being stress-free means you're starting to take control of the situation again. When you do this, you begin to feel better. And of course when you feel better about life you're much more able to tackle the root problem. But take it one step at a time.

Manage your thinking

It's all about changing how you think. This is a helpful resource: Conquer Stress. It has:

Easy-to-follow instructions

Good practical advice

No medications, affirmations, hypnotherapy etc

Covers anxiety and depression as well

A MONEY BACK GUARANTEE!

How stressed are you?

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A prayer for the stressed at work

Fingers crossed no-one's going to be offended

"Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I cannot accept and the wisdom to hide the bodies of those I had to kill today because they got on my nerves.

And also help me to be careful of the toes I step on today as they may be connected to the feet I have to kiss tomorrow.

Help me always to give 100% at work:

* 12% on Monday
* 23% on Tuesday
* 40% on Wednesday
* 20% on Thursday
* 5% on Friday

And help me remember.....

When I'm having a bad day and it seems that people are trying to wind me up, it takes 42 muscles to smile. Think of the calories I'll lose by smiling. It might just be worth it."

Don't confuse symptoms with cause

Whether your stress arises from your personal life or from work, don't confuse the symptoms with the cause.

Symptoms occur because you're stressed. They are not stress itself.

Stress is a hormonal reaction to something your unconscious mind finds threatening. These elevated hormone levels can be measured, so you know that stress isn't all "in your mind".

Something in your life triggered this reaction.

This can be comforting for people to know, especially if those around them are telling you are telling you to "deal with it" and generally being unsympathetic.

Stress is real, physiological and above all, measurable.