Funny And Embarrassing Moments At Work

On the day in question, I was working in my office. I was called to the cash office at the front of the store to take care of a deposit. Before heading in that direction, I visited the ladies room. I then proceeded to the cash office, signed off the deposit and put it in the safe. I visited the customer service area, spoke to the department head then went to the sales floor where I spoke to several customers. I made a side trip into a store room to check on a product that I had noticed wasn't on display.

Then I sauntered over to the bicycle sales area. While doing a quick inventory of the bicycles we had on the floor, I received a page over the store intercom. I answered the page at the desk in the bicycle area. A very kind, albeit giggling, employee informed me that my lovely, full black skirt was tucked into my pantyhose.

Yep, I had been running around all over the store with my white panty- pantyhose-covered rear end showing. That incident sort of gave new meaning to the word 'embarrassing'.

Credit http://arkansassongbird.wordpress.com

-We were really confused. While transcribing medical audiotapes, a colleague came upon the following garbled diagnosis: "This man has pholenfrometry."
Knowing nothing about that particular condition, she double-checked with the doctor. After listening to the tape, he shook his head.
"This man," he said, translating for her, "has fallen from a tree."
--Patricia Longbottom

-Hospital regulations require a wheelchair for patients being discharged. However, while working as a student nurse, I found an elderly gentleman already dressed and sitting on the bed with a suitcase at his feet-who insisted he didn't need my help to leave the hospital.
After a chat about rules being rules, he reluctantly let me wheel him to the elevator. On the way down, I asked if his wife was meeting him.
"I don't know," he said. "She's still upstairs in the bathroom changing out of her hospital gown."
--Patsy R. Dancey

-One crazy day in our pediatric clinic saw me hand a young patient a urine sample container and tell him to fill it up in the bathroom. A few minutes later, he returned to my nurse's station with an empty cup.
"I didn't need this after all," he said. "There was a toilet in there."
--Linda Feikle

-I was already a nervous wreck about my upcoming surgery. It didn't help matters when the admitting nurse asked me, "Have you had a hysterectomy before?"
--Terry Wisener

-A male friend of mine, an engineer at an aircraft company, works for a woman supervisor. An active member of women's lib groups, she often shows up at work wearing buttons featuring feminist slogans. One day, her latest button, "Adam was a rough draft," proved too much for my friend. The next day, he showed up at work sporting his own button: "Eve was no prime rib."
--Phyllis Reely

-When a nun collapsed in the sales representative's office at our time-share resort, the rep ran to the front-desk manager.
"Two nuns walked into the sales office, and one of them fainted!" she yelled breathlessly.
Unfazed, the manager just looked at her.
"Well," said the rep, "aren't you going to do anything?"
He replied, "I'm waiting for the punch line."
--Donna Caplan

-Although desperate for work, I passed on a job that I'd found on an employment website. It was for a wastewater plant operator. Among the job requirements: "Must be able to swim."
--Michael Leamons

-My first job was wrapping hams at a meatpacking plant. One day, I was heading out the main gate right behind a woman who was rather rotund. Or so I thought.
Just as she passed the guard shack, a ham dropped from her skirt. Before the guard could react, she wheeled around, shouting, "All right, who threw the ham?"
--Roger Schoen

-My brother Jim was hired by a government agency and assigned to a small office cubicle in a large area. At the end of his first day, he realized he had no idea how to get out. He wandered around, lost in the maze of cubicles and corridors. Just as panic began to set in, he came upon another employee in a cubicle. "How do you get out of here?" Jim asked.
The fellow smiled and said, "No cheese for you."

-Anytime companies merge, employees worry about layoffs. When the company I work for was bought, I was no exception. My fears seemed justified when a photo of the newly merged staff appeared on the company's website with the following words underneath: "Updated daily."
--Dianne Stevens

Credit http://www.rd.com/clean-jokes-and-laughs

Years ago, fresh out of school, I started at my first job. During the first week I was terrified of being left alone in the office or having to answer the phone. When someone phoned or came into the office, I would always call my co-workers to help me. On this particular day I was left alone in the office and my worst fears came true when the big boss walked in accompanied by smartly-dressed businessmen.

I felt very unsure of myself because I didn't know much about the office set-up and had no idea what my boss was doing there. He asked me where all the people were (at that moment my mind went completely blank) and I told him they were out on lunch. The problem was that it was only 10 o'clock in the morning! I could kick myself for giving such a stupid answer. He didn't look impressed with my answer and asked me to demonstrate the new office printer. I didn't have a clue what he was talking about until he pointed out the new printing machine.

The printer was totally alien to me; I've never seen something like it before. It was a special printer used in drawing offices to print notes on building plans. It needed an ink pen to work and while shaking like a leaf, I looked around for a pen to fit in the printer. I was red as a tomato, feeling very incompetent, going through drawers, desks and cupboards to find the right pen. The group of men watched me closely, not making a sound. That made me even more nervous and I couldn't even think of one single intelligent word to say.

After a long search I found a pen that fitted and by some miracle I got the printer going and printed a few words on paper. My boss discussed the printer with the other men and they left soon afterwards. He never said anything about that horrible day but for months afterwards I felt so embarrassed I avoided him like the plague. I thought he was going to fire me after my "performance" but luckily I still had a job the next day...

1. "Dead domestics" scam still alive.
2. New device lets bosses spy on boozing drivers.
3. Cop attacked using his police car.
4. Are you sexy, unemployed?
5. Do you have a job? Keep it!
6. Knifed teacher sent back to class.
7. Client jets in from China to finger suspect.
8. No blue Mondays for armed robbers.
9. US soldier probed after funeral convoy crush.
10. China checks complainers into a mental hospital.

I worked at local government offices and would usually get a bite to eat during lunch break. On this particular day I was too lazy to get something so I stayed in my office, drinking coffee. After about ten minutes into the lunch break I heard strange noises coming from the office next door to me.

Thinking it must be my co-worker coming back from the shop, I opened her door to surprise her but I got the surprise of my life! She was "wrestling" our boss (of all people!) on her desk! I nearly choked in my last mouthful of coffee. I closed the door softly and retreated as fast as I could to my office.

I felt really embarrassed for my co-worker's sake because she always told me how much she hated our boss. I kept their secret to myself and always had a private giggle whenever she went off about him.

Two workmen were digging foundations when one of them started shouting and jumping about . The other one thought his partner had hit an underground power cable and was being electrocuted so following good health and safety practice used a shovel to separate him from the electricity.

Luckily for the first worker he wasn't getting an electric shock but was panicking after a wasp had flown up his trousers. Luckily he didn't get stung but the second worker hit him so hard with the shovel that his shoulder was dislocated.

Clipart credit www.thefreedictionary.com

A company trying to continue its five-year perfect safety record showed its workers a film aimed at encouraging the use of safety goggles on the job. According to the Health and Safety Council News, the film's depiction of gory industrial accidents was so graphic that twenty-five workers suffered minor injuries in their rush to leave the screening room. Thirteen others fainted, and one man required seven stitches after he cut his head falling off a chair while watching the film.

Safety signs photo credit www.online-safety-signs.co.uk

-I accidentally stabbed my boss [the safety officer] with scissors in the buttock on the way to a safety meeting. The blade penetrated two inches and he needed stitches and new trousers.

-I think my most embarrassing moment must be the time while working in an upmarket cosmetics shop, I overheard a co-worker talking to a customer about her husband's love of golf. Having earlier listened to 45 minutes on the subject, I decided to save the poor customer and cut in with "God, why do people play golf? Don't they have a life or a job?" ...only for my co-worker to say "this is Colin Montgomerie, world-class golfer and multi-millionaire." My reply was "I'm going out to the stockroom to beat myself to death with a bottle of shower gel." Unsurprisingly I never lived it down at that job!

-A keen analyst: Thoroughly confused.
-Accepts new job assignments willingly: Never finishes a job.
-Active socially: Drinks heavily.
-Alert to company developments: An office gossip.
-Approaches difficult problems with logic: Finds someone else to do the job.
-Average: Not too bright.
-Bridge builder: Likes to compromise.

My husband had to go on a overseas business trip but he needed a new suitcase so he went to our local fleamarket. He really hates shopping around for bargains or for the right product and will buy anything just to get out of the shops.

When he got back from the fleamarket, I couldn't believe my eyes. He had bought a HUGE suitcase, almost big enough for him to fit in. We had a bit of a laugh and he said he couldn't care less about the size; he was fed-up looking for a suitcase so he took the first one he saw.

The next day, arriving at the airport, his co-workers were waiting for him. He was dragging his huge suitcase (luckily it had wheels) behind him. They rolled on the floor laughing. He just ignored them, which made it even funnier. He had to unpack his suspicious-looking suitcase at one of the checking points but he didn't even bat an eyelid.

When he got back from the overseas trip, he told me that his co-workers ridiculed him about his suitcase from the beginning of the trip to the very end. At one airport there were some problems with the luggage and they blamed it on his huge suitcase. They said it got stuck in the conveyor belt and all the other luggage were piling up at the back. He didn't think it was funny at all and said he couldn't care less about what other people say, he still likes his suitcase and will use it again on overseas trips.

1. Nagging wife finds a place in the classifieds.
2. Brave dad tackles bouncing midnight intruder.
3. Hairy postcards leave man red-faced.
4. We don't know if it's good to eat moles.
5. Antarctic scientists train in British mud.
6. Garage door kills intruder.
7. Car tracked to "fake living room".
8. Taxi runs over crocodile.
9. Dancing driver attracts police.
10. Peeping Tom, eye see you.

-Aged 18, I had a bar job in a working men's club. One evening, I served an elderly lady, who had come out without putting her false teeth in. She fizzed and spluttered as I strove to understand her order. After she'd gone, I turned to the bar manager working beside me, and launched into a tirade, saying how disgusting and repulsive it was that people didn't wear their false teeth like they're supposed to.

Halfway through, I noticed him looking at me strangely, eyes widening. Time began to slow down, as with a growing horror, I found my eyes were drawn to his mouth, for the first time seeing beyond his bushy moustache, and very very slowly it began to dawn on me something that, in the six months or so I'd worked there, I'd never noticed before... yes, you guessed it.

I worked as a PA in the offices of a power station and shared my office with two other PA's. On the day of our monthly management meeting, one of the PA's concluded that her manager would not be needing the lunch he brought from home, as a proper lunch would be served at the meeting.

She decided that she would explain to him why she had taken it when he returned from the meeting in the afternoon. She removed his lunch box from his office, tucked right in and then remembered her boyfriend who worked elsewhere in the plant, thinking that he would probably also like a bite to eat. The office messenger was asked to deliver the lunchbox to her boyfriend.

Soon afterwards she received a phone call from her desperately embarrassed boyfriend. Just as he started enjoying the contents, the owner of the lunch box stepped into his office. The manager immediately recognized his lunch box. He never went to the management meeting. He did not say a word, but kept staring at his lunchbox and the guilty red face behind it for some time before he finally left.

-Conscientious and careful: Scared.
-Consults with co-workers often: Indecisive, confused, and clueless.
-Consults with supervisor often: Very annoying.
-Delegates responsibility effectively: Passes the buck well.
-Demonstrates qualities of leadership: Has a loud voice.
-Displays excellent intuitive judgement: Knows when to disappear.
-Displays great dexterity and agility: Dodges and evades superiors well.
-Enjoys job: Needs more to do.

One of the worst experiences of my life as a course presenter, was when an employee who could not speak English very well had to replace my regular co-presenter who was out of town. He nervously read the course notes out loud in broken English, even though he was told that it would be perfectly okay to translate it to his home language, seeing that we live in a bilingual country.

I could have handled the broken English, if it wasn't for the man next to me who provided running commentary about the presenter's pronounciation. The two final words - 'monotony' and 'fatigue' and the subsequent response coming from my left caused me to burst out in uncontrollable laughter. I had to leave to room in a hurry.
Presenter: "Mow-no-tony" (Monotony)
Response from the left: "Kill that man"
Presenter: "Fatty gew" (Fatigue)
Response from the left: "Drag him away from here!"

Concerning a sign seen in a Police canteen in Christchurch, New Zealand:

'Will the person who took a slice of cake from the Commissioner's Office return it immediately. It is needed as evidence in a poisoning case.'

-At my first job it was my duty to water plants in the office. After a while a stench was detected in the vicinity of the pot plants. The manager discovered that excess water was trickling down in a cupboard with important documentation. Everything inside the cupboard was rotten. I wasn't too popular.

Norwegian business consultant Hendrik Pedersen worked for 13 years on a book about Norwegian economic solutions. He took the 250-page manuscript to be copied, only to have it reduced to 50,000 strips of paper in seconds when a worker confused the copier with the shredder.

Police in Norfolk, Virginia, interrogated a suspect by placing a metal colander on his head and connecting it with wires to a photocopy machine. The message ' He's lying' was placed in the copier, and police pressed the copy button each time they thought the suspect wasn't telling the truth. Believing the ' lie detector' was working, the suspect confessed.

-Rock singer's career ruined by hiccups.
-Alleged thief drinks on the job.
-Cops 3, robbers 0.
-Security boss accused of murder plot.

-I was at work, filling a pen with ink when I knocked the inkbottle over, staining my brand new expensive dress. All my co-workers looked at me with astonishment; they couldn't believe somebody could be so clumsy. A colleague took me home to get cleaned up. I dreaded going back to work.

-A very rude visitor came to our office one day. He used foul language and was extremely bad-mannered. I don't know what possessed me but I told him that he was heading straight for hell if he kept up that attitude. He felt very insulted and gave me a speech of my life before he left. My co-worker was very embarrassed and told me the rude visitor was the richest and most powerful businessman in town. Fantastic!

-"Dead" man claim pension money.
-Metro policeman "selling jobs".
-Is your office making you sick?
-Sweet treats meant sour end for waitress.
-Nice ears may secure the job.
-Witch hired to hunt debt dodgers.