Emotions in Children and Teens

Adolescence tends to be a particularly hard time. They are experiencing all kinds of new changes in their bodies and in their feelings. As well, they often feel misunderstood as they are struggling to leave behind their childhood and become adults. Adolescence has commonly been characterized by issues such as rebellious behavior, negative attitudes, disobedience, cheating, school performance problems, fabricating the truth, disrespect, sibling rivalry, drug and alcohol abuse, pressures from peers, depression, and issues of sexuality.

Difficulties stemming from family, peers and school pressure(s) may intensify during this time frame.

Always moody. Easily agitated. Sleeps in. Says, "Nobody cares." Sounds like a typical teen? Not always.

Did you know that depression now strikes one out of 20 teens? What's more, the rates of childhood depression are not only increasing but are also impacting younger kids. A kid today is ten times more likely to be seriously depressed compared to a child born in the first third of this century.

Depressed youngsters are almost four times more likely to have drug or alcohol problems by their mid-20s. Nearly one in ten kids who develop major depression prior to their puberty commit suicide; and suicide rates for kids and teens have tripled in three decades.

With early diagnosis and proper treatment , kids almost always can be helped and feel better. Every kid feels sad and moody from time to time, but this kind of behavior should have a time limit.

A few characteristics of depression that should not be overlooked

A sudden, or intense change. Something is markedly different about your child's personality, temperament, or normal behavior that is unsettling.

An increase in physical ailments. Headaches, stomachaches, nausea, sweaty palms, sleeplessness or always sleeping that don't lessen with over-the-counter medication and rest.

Preoccupation with death or feelings of hopelessness. He/she is drawing, writing or asking about death, giving away personal belongings, or saying "What's the use?" or "It doesn't matter"

Others who know your child well express concern. Listen as they may be seeing something that you are not.

Your child tells you something is wrong and wants help. Trust him/her.

Trust your instincts. Chances are you're right!

If the problem seems to accelerate out of control and your child is saying scary things, or you have any thought that your child is suicidal, DO NOT WAIT. Call the USA National Suicide hotline: 800-784-2433 or 800-273-8255 and take him/her to the nearest emergency room.

***TO All TEENS: ***

If you are reading this and need help, you can call the hotline above or 911 if you're feeling suicidal - I know it feels like these feelings will never end but they do, trust me I was there and I made it out the other side. Not suicidal but really struggling? It is important to ask for help! And Keep Asking Until You Get What You Need.
That's what I did and it changed my life. It can change yours too!

What is it? Cutting, Burning, Purging food to name just a few

Why? Often serves as a distraction and/ or form of communication from emotional pain

What to do - Contact a therapist in your community that specializes in working with teens

You: The Role Model.
Kids tend to constantly be learning & absorbing

Live your life as though your children are using you as a template as how they ought to behave.. for they are.

Find out now!

Megan's Law - California Residents:
http://www.meganslaw.ca.gov/

Megan's Law - National Registry:
http://www.registeredoffenderslist.org/megans-law.htm

Jessica's Law - California Residents:
http://gov.ca.gov/index.php?/fact-sheet/4967/

What is Jessica's Law?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jessica%27s_Law#Jessica_Lunsford_Act

Firstly, date rape victims typically feel somewhat responsible, ashamed, angry at self, embarrassed, fearful and helpless. Feeling suicidal is not uncommon, as well.

How do you help your teen child or friend who was raped by a person he or she trusted?

Reassure them that it wasn't their fault, this is very most important thing. Letting go of the guilt and the feeling of responsibility is extremely important.

Get medical care, both physical and mental. You need to make sure that you haven't been infected by some sexually transmitted disease and at the same time therapy is necessary.

Help them talk about their feelings, this is part of the healing process in order to let go and move on.

*** If YOU are a teen and have experienced date rape, please tell someone. If you fear telling a parent, consider your school counselor ( whether it happened at school or not ), tell another trusted family member or family friend or close friend of your own. If you have no one you feel safe telling consider calling: 1-800-273-TALK / 1-800-273-8255 or 1-800-SUICIDE / 1-800-784-2433 ***

What is anger overload?

It tends to be more severe than a temporary anger reaction lasting only a few minutes. With anger overload, the child becomes totally consumed by his angry thoughts and feelings.

Could a learning disability be involved?
Yes, look for avoiding of assignments where their deficits can be exposed, an explosive angry reaction to pushing for assignment completion may be a clue.

How can I motivate my child?

Try positive reinforcement by commenting on your child's behavior when it is good

Don't just tell your child what not to do; tell them what they should/ or could do

Practice making time to sit and "listen", this does not involve instructing, scolding, judging or minimizing

Try Ignoring inappropriate behavior (whenever, wherever possible)

Consider saying "NO!" only as needed then, consistently enforce and explain limits. Be sure to say "yes" when it is appropriate and point out why that moment is appropriate.

Physical movement is important, if your child is not physically active, start out slow. You may want to go with your child for a walk in the park, or on the beach and look for shells, a couple of times a week.

What you do with your anger and frustration communicates to your children THIS IS HOW TO DO ANGER

If you need to update your own coping strategies, don't delay in asking for help from a professional.

Kids Send Nude or Revealing Images:

22% of teen girls and 20% of teen boys have sent nude or semi-nude photos of themselves
22% of teens admit that technology makes them personally more forward and aggressive
38% say exchanging sexy content makes dating or hooking up with others more likely
29% believe those exchanging sexy content are "expected" to date or hook up
Revealing photos can be resent to a vast audience
Sending a sexual image to a minor is illegal

There have been some high profile cases of sexting - including High School Musical star Vanessa Hudgens, who sent a nude picture to her co-star/boyfriend, Zac Efron, that ended up all over the Internet and made headlines. And in July 2008, Cincinnati teen Jesse Logan committed suicide after a nude photo she'd sent to a boyfriend was circulated widely around her high school, resulting in harassment from her classmates.

Why It Matters
Technology makes it possible for everyone to see your child's most intimate self. And in the hands of teenagers, when revealing photos are made public the subject almost always becomes the object of ridicule and name calling. Furthermore, sending sexual images to minors is against the law, and some states have begun prosecuting kids for child pornography or felony obscenity.

Advice for Parents
Don't wait for an incident to happen to your child or your child's friend before you talk to your kids about the consequences of sexting.
Remind them that once an image is sent, it can never be retrieved.

To continue reading please go to
http://parentingtoolbox.wordpress.com/2009/03/24/talking-about-sexting/ or visit and learn more about this new social problem from CommonsenseMedia.com:

With the use of magnetic resonance imaging, or MRI, scientists have been able to look inside the brain, and it seems that changing voices, body hair and awkwardness around the opposite sex are not the only big changes occurring in the teenage years. The brain appears to undergo a growth spurt of its own, and this changing brain may in part explain why teenagers turn into a walking army of emotional loose cannons...

Edmonds, Molly. "Are teenage brains really different from adult brains?." 26 August 2008. HowStuffWorks.com. /health.howstuffworks.com/teenage-brain.htm> 24 January 2010.

Pay attention if a child or adolescent you know has any of these warning signs:

Almost always anxious or worried

Experiencing suicidal thoughts.

Recurrent, ongoing nightmares.

Sad and hopeless for no reason and these feelings are persistent.

Angry, crying a lot or overreacting to things.

Expresses feeling worthless or guilty

Very fearful or having unexplained fears.

Overly focused on physical appearance or problems .

Worry about being harmed, hurting others, or doing something "bad".

Obsessive behaviors or thoughts

Racing thoughts that are almost too fast to follow.

Setting fires.

Doing things that can be life threatening.

Intentionally harming or killing animals.

In Ventura County, California (805) 204-7315

Like adults, children and adolescents can have mental health issues that interfere with the way they think, feel, and act. When untreated, mental health disorders can lead to school failure, family conflicts, drug abuse, violence, and even suicide.

Emotional Disturbances for children and adolescents refers to the disruption in daily functioning at home, school, or community. It is reported that emotional disturbances affect 1 in every 10 young people at any given time.

The Causes May Include

* Exposure to environmental toxins, such as high levels of lead;
* Exposure to violence, such as witnessing or being the victim of physical or sexual abuse, drive-by shootings, muggings, or other traumas;
* Stress related to chronic poverty, discrimination, or other serious hardships; and
* The loss of important people through death, divorce, or broken relationships.

Teenagers can be moody creatures

I know I was, how about you?

When parents are faced with relocation issues, it can be a stressful time for both you and your child.

Some suggestions to help your child through the transition

Help your kids feel like they're involved and part of this big life-changing event by assuring them that they can come talk and ask questions like; "Are we taking our dog?"; "Why are we moving?". To help your child feel confident in this decision to move, answer honestly and as complete (detailed) as possible.

Help your child make a 'contact' list: names, emails, phone numbers of their friends, teachers, etc

Help plan their good-byes, a going away party may be a good way to go for all their soccer buddies and neighborhood friends.

Talk about what they can expect in terms of their new room, maybe a new theme would help to make it something to look forward to.

Will there be a new school? Talk about the new school and together explore ways of making new friends.

Antisocial Behavior or Antisocial Personality Disorder?

Do you suspect someone you know or are raising is a sociopath? Here are a few common attributes -

No guilt

Unable to form meaningful relationships

Superficially charming

No responsibility for actions

A proper diagnosis can be obtained through a mental health profession.

Younger children believe that they're always being watched, and that Mom (or some other authority figure) knows all. For this reason, they're initially more inclined to tell the truth. As they get a little older, they begin experimenting with lies The dog is blue, my shirt is made of copper, the cookie told me so. For the very young, lying is a series of cause-and-effect experiments. When does a lie work? What kind of lie? What is a believable lie? Is the jig ever up, or should I keep lying until the truth is just a vague memory for all parties?

Some reasons for lying:
To conceal misdeeds and stay out of trouble.
To preserve reputation.
To avoid hurting someone's feelings.
To increase stature and reputation.
To manipulate.
To control information/ indirect lying

Lies are told -- in some form or fashion -- by just about everybody. Some personality types, however, are more likely to lie than others:
Not typically diagnosed in children!

Pathological liars (generally sociopathic)
Compulsive liars
Narcissists
Borderline personalities
Histrionic personalities

By Meredith Guinness

Parents often are unsure if they should be present when their children attend therapy sessions. Each practitioner has a different philosophy and the answer may depend on the age and diagnosis of the child. Here are some tips to consider:

* A child is a part of a family and that context should be considered. A first visit to the psychiatrist or other professional might include a chat with the child, another with the parents and a third with the entire group.
* Sometimes children open up when Mom and Dad are not around. This is especially true of teenagers and adolescents who may appreciate the privacy.
* Younger children might be anxious without parents around. Sometimes a therapist can play and talk with the child while Mom or Dad is reading nearby.
* Some behavioral problems can be addressed with the parent, instead of the child. The parent picks up tips and then tries them at home without saddling the child with the anxiety that might accompany an office visit.
* Some children work best in peer groups. Check with your healthcare provider about available local resources.