End An Affair And Take Back Your Life

If you are involved in an office affair or have been contemplating that step, stop and think about your future. Be honest with yourself. What looks exciting and on the "big screen at the theatre" ends happy ever after may have a completely different result in real life. You may ruin your career and friendships may suffer; you may miss out on a real opportunity for love with someone that isn't your boss, isn't married and doesn't work in the next cubicle.

If you are really head over heels in love with a co-worker and the feeling is mutual, someone needs to find a new job. Then the romance can move forward in a positive healthy way.

Make no mistake, ending an affair is difficult but it is absolutely necessary. There are several keys to successfully ending the affair with grace.

First, handle this final conversation with kindness. There is nothing to be gained by hateful destructive behavior. If the affair involves a co-worker, there is even greater need for a kind gracious end. But do not give any indication that you might change your mind.

Second, meet in person in a public place. This is not something you can handle in the office or during the work day during a break.

Third, the final meeting must be brief and simple. Accept responsibility for your error in judgment in participating in the affair. Do not get involved in a discussion about "why now". You can simply say your boss or significant other has become suspicious and you want to keep your job and, if it applies, your committed relationship.

Finally, be clear that this decision is final, and there can be no future contact. This is not a situation where you can still be friends. To give the other person the tiniest hope for a change of mind is unnecessarily cruel.

It is vital to your mental and emotional health that you remain focused on your future. Once the affair has ended, you can begin to heal and work on recovery of your self-esteem and self-confidence. The simple act of doing the right thing is a giant step in the right direction and a heavy weight will be lifted. You will be free to focus on your life, your goals and relationships that are honest and can endure.

Now that you have taken the important step of ending the affair, you need to devote time and resources to your own healing and recovery. It's time to close the chapter on secrets and move forward with a positive healthy life. Everyone involved in an affair, and those affected by an affair, will deal with self-esteem issues and shattered self-confidence. This is not a situation where time alone heals all wounds. Time and sincere effort on your part to resolve old issues will heal. This is not a step in the process that can be skipped.