Random Woofiness - Silly Can Be Good!

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Ranked #550 in Humor, #69,611 overall

A Funny Perspective On Life
Random & Quirky Happenings




Never underestimate the power of LAUGHTER. If we can find the humor in everyday life and the silly, sometimes dumb things we do - it can lighten our load and be uplifting... knowing that we all have blond moments or as I like to call them "I Love Lucy Moments".

Here are some of my own real life experiences:

We might be more eager to accept good advice if it did not continually interfere with our plans.

I SMELL SMOKE! 

An I love lucy moment:

Alone and late on a dark winter night, I was watching a T.V. Documentary on Spontaneous Human Combustion - I had seen it or one similar before years ago and found the topic curious and fasinating.

As I watched the program, I couldn't help but ask myself if this was a real phenomenon or something else. When the hour long program ended, I found myself troubled by the possibility that this type of thing ACTUALLY happened to people!

What was it that made one individual over another just burst into flames??

Out of the blue (about and hour later) I thought I smelled smoke! I pushed the blanket aside and found no sign of anything burning. I smoked cigarettes and contributed the smell to a lingering butt in the ashtray, even though I looked (in the ashtray, surrounding flooring, bedcovers and found nothing.) A little concerned, I push the issue aside.

The next morning: As I went to get into my car and head for work, I noticed I could smell smoke again! It wasn't the smell that cigarette's produce, at least to a smoker.

I looked to the sky and saw no tell tale signs of a fire, then thought 'what if it's me?' and 'am I getting ready to internally combust?'

I looked myself over and found no signs of smoke eminating from any body part... got into my car thinking I must be going crazy and drove carefully to work.

As I left the office that evening, there was that smell of smoke again! I had the thought, 'probably only people that KNOW about spontaneous human combustion can actually be effected by it... wish I hadn't watched the t.v. program!' I again checked over my body, right there in the parking lot and found no signs rising smoke, recognized that I felt fine physically and headed home.

This same scenario repeated for two days and I was sure that either I had truly lost my mind or was actually experiencing my body working its way up to a full spontaneous combustion... what could I do? I thought staying close to home might be a good idea - since I could presumably jump in the shower if fire started somewhere on my body. I dare not tell a soul for fear of being locked up and put on a 72-hour hold.

The weekend arrived, I stayed home and had the t.v. on in the background while doing some housework. It was only then that my anxiety and concern subsided, when I heard that over 100 miles away there actually had been a forest fire and people from all over the state had been able to smell it.

Wheew!

Isn't it funny just how badly we can scare ourselves. LOL


Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling.

IS THIS THE END? 

I love lucy moment:

When I was in my 20's, I had just come home from being out on a dinner date and as custom flipped on the t.v. for background noise. As I was getting ready for bed, something being announced on the t.v. caught my attention - it was the name of a battleship that had recently been in the news as being docked on the East Coast. What I thought I heard that it was BREAKING NEWS: We are engaging in battle!

I turned my attention to the t.v., it was now about 11:00 pm, and watched in a transfixed state of confusion as the announcer continued with what was an all out war... how could this be? It was just in New York (the battleship) as my terror grew, I reached for the phone and called Mom - Nuclear Missiles had just been launched!

Frantically, I tried to explain the situation to my Mom and snap her out of her restful sleep! "Mom! What should we do?!?"

My heart beating hard, she turned on her t.v. and after a pause she anxiously asked "What channel?!?"

"Wait a minute" she pled into the phone, before anxiously stating that she couldn't find it on any of the other channels. I explained it was, BREAKING NEWS!

Her reply was that all the news channels should be carrying it. With mild frustration, I stated again that it was BREAKING News and they just hadn't heard about it yet!

As she gathered her wits about her... I am asking her if she thought I should come right over?! And "what should we do?!?" She was silent. "Mom! Talk To Me!!!"

I was sure that this was the end.

In a loving voice, she finally spoke in relief, "You are watching War of The Worlds - it's a movie"

We still laugh about this today, how wonderful it is to have kids that call and wake you, only to throw you into sheer panic. And her request is to not wake her if it is the end of the world, she would rather 'go' in her sleep! LOL

:)

Wait a minute

Okay, who put a stop payment on my reality check? Is that allowed?

Expensive Glass of Water 

I do not condone this behavior

When I was in my 20's and living on a tropical island, my dear friend Lynn and I would go out dancing and drinking til all hours come the weekends. We shared a condo with others, she and I shared a bedroom with 2 beds and an on suite dressing/ bathroom.

On one of these late night adventures, after returning home and sleeping for a few hours I woke with a terribly dry mouth and got up to quench my thirst. Heading to the sink area in our bedroom and eyes barely open, lights off not to wake my suite mate I fumbled for a drinking glass. I filled the glass just a little from the faucet and drank it down. As I was making my way back to bed, I noticed that the water I just drank tasted funny and soon thereafter was in a deep sleep til mid-morning...

In the passive recesses of slumber noises begin to intrude and stir me unhappily awake. Lynn was causing some sort of commotion throughout the condo, I wondered what the heck was going on that wasn't like her.

Once I was fully awake, I asked her what was happening?
She was frantic as she explained that she was unable to locate her contact lenses. I thought, well you did have a quite a few drinks last night. As I prodded her for her last steps the evening before going to bed, she replied; "I put them in solution, in the drinking glass by the sink"

Gasp! I drank her contacts! It was probably the solution to clean them that tasted so bad. Yes, I confessed after the initial shock wore off.

Consciousness:
That annoying time between naps.

FRESH LAUNDRY 

I love lucy moment:

Earlier in the day, I had gone to the store to pick up household cleaning supplies.

It was now afternoon and I was working away at my computer, near an open window when I caught the light scent of a neighbors freshly washed laundry as it was being carried past my window. I thought to myself, that smells nice! Reminding me of when I was young and mom was folding clean clothes and towels.

Later that evening, I found myself back at the computer... Once again, I eventually caught a whiff of that newly laundered aroma, and experienced the same warm emotional response. It then occurred to me that it was awfully late (10:30 pm) to be carrying freshly washed clothes around the complex, but pushed the issue aside and continued my work, before heading to bed.

The next afternoon while at my computer, the same scent, emotional and cognitive reactions occurred! I needed to investigate... I opened my front door expecting to see someone walking through the courtyard carrying a basket of laundry, when I found no one in sight, I paused with a bit of confusion. Closing the door, I turned to the kitchen and there on the counter, was a new box of dryer sheets that I had forgotten to put away, they were scented with "Fresh Laundry" aroma.

:)

Why is it:
When we talk to God,
we're praying.
When God talks to us,
we're schizophrenic?

Worth A Smile 



1. Energizer Bunny arrested and charged with battery

2. I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.

3. A distraught patient phoned her doctor's office. Was it true, the woman wanted to know, that the medication the doctor had prescribed was for the rest of her life? She was told that it was. There was a moment of silence before the woman continued, "I'm wondering, then, just how serious my condition is. This prescription is marked 'NO REFILLS.'"

Henry Cate III

Take time to laugh - it is the music of the soul.

Better than a Flu Shot! Get Yours Today 





Miss Beatrice,

The church organist, Was in her eighties And had never been married.

She was admired for her sweetness and kindness to all.

One afternoon the pastor came to call on her and she showed him

into her quaint sitting room.

She invited him to have a seat while she prepared tea.

As he sat facing her old Hammond organ,

The young minister noticed a cute glass

bowl Sitting on top of it.

The bowl was filled

With water, and in the water

Floated, of all things, a condom!

When she returned with tea and scones,

They began to chat.

The pastor tried to stifle his curiosity

About the bowl of water and its strange floater,

but soon it got the better of him and he could no longer

resist.

'Miss Beatrice', he said,

'I wonder if you would tell me about this?'

Pointing to the bowl.

'Oh, yes,' she replied, 'Isn't it wonderful?

I was walking through the Park a few months ago

And I found this little package on the ground.

The directions said to place it on the organ,

Keep it wet and that it would prevent

the spread of disease. Do you know I haven't had the flu all winter.


Pardon me but, I just came from the garden... 

What areyou doingto my flowers??

HOW TO BEHAVE SILLY 

Hope to bring a smile to your face

To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity

1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.

2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.

3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If They Want Fries with that.

4. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks . Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.

5. In the Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write ' For Marijuana'

6. Finish All Your sentences with 'In Accordance With The Prophecy'.

7. Skip down the hall Rather Than Walk and see how many looks you get.

8. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.

9. Specify That Your Drive-thru Order Is 'To go'.

10. Sing Along At The Opera.

11. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area and Play tropical Sounds All Day.

12. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You have a headache.

13. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream 'I Won! I Won!'

14. When Leaving the Zoo, Start Running towards the Parking lot, Yelling' Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!'

15. Tell Your Children Over Dinner, 'Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go.'

16. And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity is to --
Send This Link To Someone To Make Them Smile.

It is Called ... THERAPY IN SOME CIRCLES





TODAY'S QUIZ: What's round and bad-tempered? A vicious circle.

Please note tomorrow's quiz will be the same :)

Featured Lenses 

"Can you say, CHEESE
without smiling?
Go on try it,
you know you want to
"

 

_________________________________________________________________________




Ok, Sorry that was cheesy





My short-term memory is not as sharp as it used to be.
Also, my short-term memory's not as sharp as it used to be.

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ADULTS NEED "PLAY" TOO! 

What is "play"?

Play is an individual thing... It could be hunting for that new 'beach glass' collection or other interesting things at the waters edge.


Play is a little like breathing or dreaming in the way it fits seamlessly, invisibly, into a healthy life. It is a natural capacity of the human mind. As with breathing, we do it effortlessly. And as with dreaming, while we can be totally immersed in play, we often forget about it when we are done.

To try to find the point of play is to miss the point. Play, after all, has no point; it is purposeless...

Why do we bother then if it has no purpose? Why spend our time in purposeless activity? Our need for play is mysterious, like our need for dreaming. We have played almost from the beginning, since we made (or were asked to accept) the first tentative separations from our parents. Play filled the space, and it continues to, even as it takes on the form of creative or cultural activity.

Like breathing and dreaming, play serves a homeostatic function. Like a thermostat, it kicks in when the internal environment is too hot or too cold and brings things into a more tolerable balance. Just as breathing regulates oxygen levels in the blood, and dreaming affects the brain's neurotransmitters in sleep, play brings balance to our emotional lives.

Through the medium of symbolic communications, sometimes secret and sometimes shared, play helps us make sense of our worlds. It is how we process what happens to us, and how we communicate what we are processing. It is how we breathe air into our emotions and how we find out what we are feeling.

As any good psychotherapist knows, play and emotional health are synonymous.

 

Go for a drive and have a picnic
If it is just you and your dog, err bears, that's ok!

 

Try a different mode of transportation, if you're feeling adventurous

 

Get your hands dirty, it can be very therapeutic!
You could try your hand at a one-day or 8-week pottery class.
Yes, men do it also!

The only reason for time is so that everything doesn't happen at once.
Albert Einstein

Share your fun 

What Do You Do For Fun?

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For Fun I...

Sue says:

A long time ago I decided if I had to grocery shop with small children, I would make it a FUN experience.... So I did! We would laugh, dance, sing, say hello to other shoppers, tell jokes, help people and tickle each other.

It was amazing the difference it made - shopping with small children was no longer a chore that had to be done, but a fun, engaging experience! It transformed the energy around us and feeling so tuned in to the moment, time went by in a flash.

Danno551 says:

play online games and competitions

ShoutedSilence says:

spend time with the people i love!

Educator_With_a_Heart says:

I love to create cards and pieces of art with hearts! I am a hopeless sap.. I also love to hike; something about my feet touching the earth connects me and fuels me.

mtsthelens says:

I've been white water rafting before and it was very fun, now a days play online games, weekend getwaways. Im older and mroe sedate. lol

I forget to schedule fun

sandyspider says:

I spend too much time on the internet. It seems to be my social life. When I do get out, I like camping, drive-in movies, amusement parks. Those involve warm weather. So I will have to wait.

Recalcitrant says:

photography when I can

Wysiwigs says:

Can't say I have much fun officially scheduled, but our horses are definitely my smile therapy (make that big, cheesy grin :o)

jen says:

i used to ride horses

 
view all 10 comments

Approved Links 

AshleyBretting.com
Ashley's "official" mental health website @ AshleyBretting.com
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This is the must played bubble shooter version, you move the arrow with your mouse. Click to release the bubble.
Make combinations of 3 or more bubbles to make them dissapear and score points.
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805Therapy.com
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Thirsty Boy 



One night a father sent his son upstairs to bed. Five
minutes later the boy screamed, ''Dad! Can you get me a
glass of water!?!''

''No. You had your chance. Be quiet and go to sleep.''

A minute later the boy screamed, ''Dad!! Can you PLEASE get
me a glass of water?''

''No. You had your chance. Next time you ask I'll come up
there and spank you.''

A minute later the boy yelled, ''Dad, when you come up to
spank me can you bring me a glass of water?''


giggles 

5 NUNS IN A BAR

Sisters Mary Catherine, Maria Theresa, Katherine Marie, Rose Frances, & Mary Kathleen left the Convent on a trip to St. Patrick's Cathedral in New York City and were sight-seeing on a Tuesday in July. It was hot and humid in town and their traditional garb was making them so uncomfortable, they decided to stop in at Patty McGuire's Pub for a cold soft drink.

Patty had recently added special legs to his barstools, which were the talk of the fashionable eastside neighborhood. All 5 Nuns sat up at the bar and were enjoying their Cokes when Monsignor Riley and
Father McGinty entered the bar through the front door.
They, too, came for a cold drink when they were shocked and almost fainted at what they saw.

too cute not to forward.......

GIVE US A SENSE OF HUMOR LORD,
GIVE US THE GRACE TO SEE A JOKE,
TO GET SOME HUMOR OUT OF LIFE,
AND PASS IT ON TO OTHER FOLK

I was fired today 

For the Annual Company Picnic, management had decided that because of liability issues, we could have alcohol, but only one drink per person...

I was fired for ordering the cups.

SMILES FREQUENTLY UPDATED 

Did you smile at least once while here? Please say "hello" :)

submit

Thank you 

Ha! I just noticed that I made the top 100 in Humor catagory. Thank you all and keep coming back for more updated silliness.

http://squidoorati.alltop.com/

You grow up the day
you have your first real laugh
- at yourself.

- Ethel Barrymore

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THE END 

In Memorium
With all the sadness and trauma going on in the world at the moment, it is worth reflecting on the death of a very important person, which almost went unnoticed last week.

Larry LaPrise, the man who wrote "The Hokey Pokey", died peacefully at age 93. The most traumatic part for his family was getting him into the coffin. They put his left leg in. And then the trouble started.
=0 A

by AshleyBretting-M.S.

Ashley Breting, M.S. is a pre-licensed psychotherapist, she has a master's of science degree in counseling with the focus on marriage & family the... (more)

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