102 - The Art Of Expressing : War Of the Genders

How we COMMUNICATE is practically what that decides how we express ourselves. It should be our desire to understand and acknowledge the differences that exist among us all in the way each and everyone communicates. We should stop being judgmental with whatever that contradicts with our 'beliefs' as neither style is right or wrong. In fact, the blend of male and female style of communication should give us more leverage in solving problems and should be points taken to establish a closer personal relationship bonds as well as life.


How Is It That Both Sexes Varies In Terms of Expressing Themselves?


Take Note This Two Very Important Decisive Statements
(a) Men and Women THINK Differently
(b) Men and Women SPEAK Differently

To put things concisely, men's mind are compartmentally where else women think globally. It is to describe how men and women store and utilize information and file data up in their cognitive memory banks.


COMPARTMENTALLY = MEN
When we talked about compartments , we think of drawers and separated entity. Thus in general, a men's mind work in such a way where he has specific drawers for work, for family, for hobbies, etc. Because of this issue, men tends to open and close up based on their needs . Therefore as a result, when a man is in one compartment, nothing else matters except for that one compartment. In addition, men could easily move when disagreement arises as they don't see a point in having to fret over matters other than of the ones they are going through.


GLOBALLY = WOMEN
Women in the other hand see the underlying connections, interrelated detail and data more. They tend to take issues in a more global perspective making sure they take into consideration every aspect of the details involves. Unfortunately when disagreement happen, it will affect all aspects of their relationship as they tend to connect each and every possible related issue.

Because it is only natural that WOMEN thinks wholly, thus they tend to speak 'globally' too. What I meant speaking 'globally' is that they present verbally in a narrative fashion. They speak in paragraph with lots of details and supportive statements and the bottom line to it usually ends up in the end. Women enjoy building and working up to the bottom line for the joy is in the telling of the story.

MEN find this agitating as they converse in a very short clipped phrases. They get right to the point which might of course leads to excessive frustration to the women as they may think that men never tells women anything. Men take language literally, focusing only on the content of the message.

It is so often the cause of much disagreement because of this factor. Women would wonder why men don't talk about anything and men would find women talking too much 'unnecessarily'.

Because of how the differences of both sexes think and speaks ,their reaction and how they decide tends to revolve around it. Thus the biggest mistake that both gender makes is that they relate and communicate as if they were of their own 'kind' and when they don't react the way they thought would be, misunderstanding and conflicts would soon arise. So it is only important that we understand and that to realize great communicators are people who change their approach based upon the person they are talking to. It is not hard to do and the benefits are worth having as it would enhance the way both genders communicate.

ROOT : EVOLUTION FACTOR

MEN, since a long time ago had been undertaking the most dangerous of all jobs. They were put into hard labor, trained for war, fought for their countries and anything that involves dangerous actions. Men had been the one to take on such commitments simply because they hold greater physical strength and they weren't the main 'source' to keep the population growing. Thus, with such dangerous task appointed to men since the traditional time, they are then more likely to find themselves in situation that requires no questions or hesitation as if immediate actions are not taken it would mostly bring upon fatal consequences to them. There are no rooms for second thoughts. Wrapping it up, men would agree that exposing themselves emotionally would put them in a vulnerable state and put their status, success of safety at risk.

Through this cycle of evolution, men have then naturally developed a simple and straight forward mind.

WOMAN, on the other hand has been the one that needs to pay close attention to her internal 'activities'. Women are also child bearers and they will always indirectly be aware to her internal experience for signs of happenings example, menstrual cycle, and baby's condition. With such complexity within, women then tend to search for other party at side for solutions and insights. They then tend to voice out, describing, putting it in with words, simply just any way they could express themselves out.

Men are simple creatures then as compared with women who are far more complex in terms of abstract internal attributes. Men don't understand why women are so complicated and women refused to believe that men are such simple being. It's a question of one not understanding and another one not accepting. Women are full of thoughts and tend to question every question with another one. They just couldn't accept the fact that when men said 'nothing' it really does meant nothing.

What is going on between these two heads, each of them would never know but then, by understanding such difference, it is not meant to turn our eyes against each other. It is not meant to divide the two. Put yourself in a state of willingness and learn from each other. Being different doesn't mean it is not right, nature had its way of formulating and taking these differences to create a strong bond between two as we take time to learn and understand one another.

So we know now that men won't just come up to anyone to tell them how they feel. This could be fustrasting to some.
However, take note this this little tips. Men do have feeligs too, and different types of men express themselves differently.So next time if you are wondering how does your man feels,be alert to his action.Do not be fustrated if you don't get to hear anything out ,take a look at what your man may already be saying -- in other ways .

( a ) Offering Tokens of Affection / Appreciation
( b ) PDA -- Physical Displays of Affection
( c ) Introducing You to the Family or Friends

She will find her way to get the message through.

So there is not much to worry about from a woman's part. Just be sure you are paying attention .