Convert the citizens by touching them with your Noodly Appendage. Beware you don't touch any evil people dressed in black or you will be sent directly to FSM heaven.

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What is in it for you?

Now that I have introduced you to our Holy Noodlyness and The Prophet you are probably wondering what is in it for you. Humans always ask that question first. Here are just a few benefits:

A great afterlife complete with stripper factory and a beervulcano.

No hell, just a little less enjoyable Heaven

Friday is A Holy Day. You don't ever have to work again on Fridays.

You will gain an extra holiday called Ramendan.

What does the Flying Spaghetti Monster ask in return?

There are always things that need to be done. Deities tend to want that from their creation. And who are we not to obey their orders?

However I will need to stress the importance of pirates first. Take a good look at the Graph below.



There you have it. Global warming is caused by the decline in number of pirates. Because natural disasters are caused by an angry Spaghetti Monster we must respect his love for pirates and wear pirate clothing. Now back to the requirements.

You must obey the Twelve Not-Commandments, Suggestions. I listed them below to make it easier to see why. It's hard to change habits but try.

When reading the Holy Scriptures you will need to wear full pirate regalia. I listed some pirate related things you can start out with.

Teachers have an extra rule. Whenever they teach about the FSM they also have to be in full Pirate Regalia. It is really important. Otherwise the deity will be angry.

Say RAmen to praise the deity! This may be the easiest to change. People already familiar with Amen just have to add an "R". The "R" probably was lost in translation in the past like people also made a mistake with Ramadan. It's RAmendan. Eating and sharing RAmen or any other Holy Substance is good. Wasting pasta is bad!

Congratulations! Already you are well on your way to become a real Pastafarian!

I. I am the Flying Spaghetti Monster. Thou shalt have no other monsters before Me. (Afterwards is OK; just use protection.) The only Monster who deserves capitalization is Me! Other monsters are false monsters, undeserving of capitalization.

II. Thou ought not do stuff thou already knowest is wrong, like killing, lying, cheating, stealing, etc. Dost thou really need these carved into a rock?

III. Judge not, for verily it be not thine job neither most likely to be thine business.

IV. Hey, try not to buy too much useless crap, OK?

V. Be kind unto others whether they are kind unto thou or not, for it maketh thou the better person in most situations, and occasionally it doth piss off an idiot, which is funny unto Your Lord the Sauced One.

VI. Thou ought not consume "cheese" from a green cardboard can, nor ought thou allow such cans into thy homes.

VII. Thou shalt share, that none may seek without finding.

VIII. Thou shalt not feel guilty for feeling good.

IX. Thou shalt remember that all the peoples of the Earth are equally My Creatures. When thee worship strippers, always show thy monetary appreciation generously. Remember that midgets are Holy unto Me; thou shalt not overlook them.

X. Thou ought not take thy Pasta in vein. Or artery, for that matter.

XI. Thou ought ever seek to improve thy Pasta, to more closely approach the Divine Noodliness.

XII. Thou ought beware those who claim to have achieved Noodly Perfection, for they are False Chefs whose claims of the Perfect Recipe will lead thee astray.