Find Success In Failure?

I had a friend tell me one time that he either had the worst luck of anyone he knew, or he just sucked at everything. He went on to tell me about all the business failures that he's had, and then described his latest venture (which failed) when he and his wife bought an existing restaurant with a proven history of profit. He even worked at the restaurant for 4 weeks before he bought it to verify that the business was sound. But once he took ownership it started to dive. "I'm just a failure at this," he told me. "I have no idea what I'm doing wrong."

I just smiled at him and said "Well that means you've found success in failure then, right?" After a short pause with him staring at me, unsure about whether he should be mad at me or find some profound meaning in what I said, I told him that everyone has something they're good at (or can be good at), and that the difference between successful people and those who aren't, is that successful people don't see failure in the same light. To them failure is another opportunity to succeed, they find success in failure even when others can't. Failure is, for successful entrepreneurs, an opportunity to learn and an opportunity to try again... failure is another chance at success. Two quotes by Richard Branson sum it up:

"Business opportunities are like buses, there's always another one coming"

"You don't learn to walk by following rules. You learn by doing, and by falling over"

I told my friend that he is truly an expert on business, just in a different way than he was looking for. After so many business failures, who would be more knowledgeable about what not to do than him? Besides, he had developed some very extensive and specific operating knowledge that could really help other new business owners. He went on to write and profit from his 'success in failure' experiences and that process brought him into other opportunities, and now he has broken free of the box of failure that he had placed himself in to. He's turned out to be quite the successful entrepreneur, once he gave himself the right opportunity. He was able to find success in failure.

Fear of failure is the enemy of mankind. Everyone is able to start a home business so they can stay at home with their kids or do whatever it is that fulfills them. Having success isn't about venture funding or starting capital, it doesn't even really depend upon the business idea; one of the crucial keys to success is your commitment to you. Don't give up on yourself. Had someone overheard Mark Zuckerberg way back then talking about this 'new' social platform he was working on and which he wanted to take global, many people would have scoffed at that time. So you need to take some simple steps now, proactively, to keep yourself motivated so when others (or you) doubt your business you can withstand it. Stay in touch with those who motivate and inspire you, not the one's who bring you down. Work with your small business development center if you have one, or a local non-profit which works with new ventures. The point is don't let anyone or anything dictate your worth or capabilities, those are things that only YOU control.

I can't tell you how many people I've spoken to who are willing to share their dreams and aspirations. Everyone, it seems, likes to admit that they have bigger dreams than their present reality. Perhaps it's a self-preservation mechanism at play; they don't want to admit that they're happy with their mediocre lives or they want to make sure that you know they're capable of SO much more. It's ironic, however, that when pressed for details on what they're doing to make it happen, I'm often given a response like "Well, I'm waiting to save up some more money," or "I want go back to school and get my degree first." Whatever the response, its invariably some type of excuse as to why they readily admit they have a dream, but aren't actively doing anything to make it a reality. For some people, sure, their response if true and matches their real life desires. But the truth is that many people are afraid to step out and go after what they secretly dream about.

Does it sound familiar? I'm sure it does. And even if you readily admit that you fall in to that category don't fret, you're not alone. The truth of the matter is, that when you peel away the layers of why so many people don't apply themselves to fulfilling their dreams we find that it comes down to low self-confidence. Perhaps some life event or a series of events helped shape the person's view of themselves, but whatever the cause its destructive to their own self-fulfillment. One of the reasons so many middle-aged people suffer the "crisis" isn't because of their marriage or their job, but because they realize (even if only subconsciously) that the road to their dreams is only a distant memory. Everyone, and I mean everyone, has hopes and dreams, has aspirations of a better life; that is central to who we are as humans. Given that, how are people supposed to feel when they reach a point in their lives that they can't imagine a way to possibly turn things around, that their dream will never ever be more than that, just a dream? They have to worry about their family's security, the mortgage, the bills, the kids, the college fund, etc...

But there is good news. We're not alone with our feelings of doubt, and looming or inevitable failure. It turns out that everyone, even the most brazen among us, has those feelings; the difference is how we act on or respond to them. When you look at successful people you tend to see that "successful" side of them and often forget, or don't know, that almost all of them went through hardships of their own. Bill Gates dropped out of Harvard and started a business called Traf-O-Data (which failed), before picking himself up and forming Microsoft. Thomas Edison was told by a teacher that he was too stupid to learn anything. Henry Ford failed with at least two other business attempts and lost everything 5 times before he was successful and founded the Ford Motor Company. Winners and successful people have one common trait, they meet failure with determination. They are able (or willing, or determined) to lift themselves up and find success in failure. Imagine that you're standing there and someone comes along and shoves you as hard as they can. You would fall to the ground, right? Now imagine if you were expecting them to shove you; you would shift your stance and be ready for it, and likely not fall to the ground. In a similar way, successful people accept that challenges may come, but they have a frame of mind that they'll withstand whatever it is, that they will eventually succeed. That preparation and acceptance of hardship is what allows them to push on.

When we're feeling our lowest, or doubting ourselves the most, we have to remember that each one of has the potential to achieve almost anything. Nothing is standing in your way; not money or education. The only thing stopping you is you. You must address the fear that manifests as low self-confidence. You can't listen to people who are in the boat of mediocrity and have them tell you what you should do; if they knew they wouldn't themselves be in that boat. Instead listen to successful people. According to Forbes, almost 2/3 of the world's billionaires made their fortunes from scratch. They applied nothing but determination and will. This flies in the face of what many believe, that it takes money to make money. The only people who say that, I've found, are the one's who've tried and failed (and never tried again), or were even too afraid to try at all. In fact, if you believe it takes money to make money then you've already lost the battle so why even try? So yes, YOU can do it, you can find success in failure. You are no different than Stephen King, who when he submitted his first book (Carrie), was rejected 30 times! He finally threw the manuscript in the trash can. Were it not for his wife digging it out and reminding him of why he should stay faithful to his dreams we might never have been blessed with his writings. It's true he finally was about to give up, that's not the point. The point is he kept at it for 30 rejections!. You just have to know that failure usually isn't about YOU, it's about the OPPORTUNITY or that you need to learn more. You must push on. I've never, not once, seen a quitter on top of the podium accepting their first place medal.

While some things in life are difficult, very few are impossible.

The other thing everyone needs to remember is that the old saying is true, that luck is only a matter of preparation meeting opportunity. If you push yourself, if you believe in yourself, then great things will be able to happen. You may not be successful with your first, second, or even 5th business venture, but I promise you this, if you keep trying (really trying) and tell yourself you need to work, you will find success beyond your dreams. If you keep doubting, if you don't believe you can succeed, then of course you never will. Have you ever seen someone cross the finish line first and look back and say "No way! I really won?" Of course you haven't, they expected to win. You have to make that choice for yourself. You can have the greatest idea ever and be so confident in the plan, but if you lack the courage to take the steps or the will to pick yourself up when you fall, to find success in failure, then success will always be about someone else.

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