Trying to live without the pain....
There are so many things I want to say. I don't know where to begin. Sometimes I don't even want to think about this subject because it is very painful and by allowing the thoughts to surface, I relive the emotional trauma of growing up in poverty, being left with countless strangers while my mom worked as a waitress to barely feed us. This is just one part of it.
The emotional kick in the gut. Low self-esteem, worthlessness.
These are things I have to work hard to forget. I cannot dwell on the past in order to have a better future. The problem I face is that the damage that occurred in my childhood formed my personality. Affected the way I feel on the inside. So no amount of positive action is going to remove the core of my being. It covers it up for awhile, but it always surfaces.....
I'll tell my story, and I'd like to hear yours as well. I've often searched google for "fatherless daughters" and didn't come up with anything relevent to help me. I hope that by opening up this can of worms, I can help not only myself but other fatherless daughters.
I would love to hear stories of fathers who have loved and supported their daughters also. Give us some hope. <g>
Thank you!
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Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters: 10 Secrets Every Father Should Know
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Chicken Soup for the Father & Daughter Soul: Stories to Celebrate the Love Between Dads & Daughters Throughout the Years (Chicken Soup for the Soul)
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The Wounded Woman
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The Wounded Woman: Hope and Healing for Those Who Hurt
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- DevotedDad DevotedDad Jun 1, 2009 @ 2:10 pm
- So who understand this life and this Court system.
I also would like to say, do not stop searching for your Father for those who do not know why he left.
In many times I thought of leaving my daughter so she will not get more punishments from her Mother, because she does it to make me angry.
She knows my daughter is my Achilles tendon, she knows I bleed when she hurts her.
So please search inside and outside, maybe your Father left, due to a lot pain, caused by the Courts, an angry Mother, etc....
But I also, I am strong believer that any Father that abuses his children deserve NO MERCY !!
A child is the most important soul in our lifes, that is the real give from God, and is your duty to take care of him/her as if you are taking care of God himself.
I will pray, for all of you, and that one day you may find peace, love within you, and give thanks to God that you may do better with your children and brake the Pain and pattern.
A devoted Catholic Father to my little angel.
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- DevotedDad DevotedDad Jun 1, 2009 @ 1:59 pm
- I do not understand how can someone be rude with their children, and even less with a little girl. Sometimes I tell my childhood friends, that being a Father of little girls, is like holding a small fragile Rose with two hands and climbing up a Mountain.
My daughter has come 2 times from her mother's home with finger tips bruises and I just found she does like her room very much because the lock of the door is outside the door.
And that remind me that she told me once that her Mother used to locked her in , so when her Father came to the house all intoxicated with Alcohol, will not abuse them, ( my ex and her sister ). Now she is doing the same treatment to my daughter.
I contacted the Court , but they refuse to listen, because she hired some big shot attorneys. It is unbelievable !!!
If the case was the opposite I will be in jail now, for a long time.
So, I you explain being a devoted father being punished, and you girls suffering because did not a Father like I am ?
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- DevotedDad DevotedDad Jun 1, 2009 @ 1:52 pm
- I am pretty overwhelm to see you Girls's Story. That I decided to sign up and talk to your girls.
I ma facing with a nasty Custody Fight with an angry ex-wife that our Daughter not to have any contact with her Father.
We were married for 9 year and she did not wanted kids then I decided to get divorced, but at the last month she got pregnant.
And my biggest Joy in life arrived my little girl she is my life Ever since she was born I noticed the jealousy on my ex wife because children can feel when the love is real
Now my daughter and I we play golf, we play basketball, we play at the pool, I take her to any event possible and I find Money under the floor just to make sure we can enjoy any moment we have ( since I pretty sick with Diabetes )
I do not know how much time I have left, but I make sure, she we will have every second of fun that God can give us.
I want her to laugh, and smile, andbe happy the day I die, and be able to say, thank you God for the Father you gave me.
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- BraveGirl BraveGirl May 19, 2008 @ 3:11 am
- That must have really hurt you. Did you talk to your older sib about it?
It's tough for anybody to have confidence in this world. Even tougher when you start out as a disposable human being. I see how confident and comfortable my youngest sister is. She grew up with her mother and my father's unconditional love. My father thinks that he's made up for what happened to me because he gave her all the love and support. I wish it were that simple. =)
I try not to let it eat away at me, but there are times when I feel upset and hurt.
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- hockeymom hockeymom May 18, 2008 @ 9:10 pm
- I understand your feelings totally. My parents seperated before my birth. My father has always denied me while accepting my older sibling. I remember watching her go every weekend and wondering what was so wrong with me that he didn't want me. I must have been a terrible person, even as an infant. It wasn't until I was in my 30's that a dna test with my sis revealed that we do indeed have the same 2 parents. I still have no contact with him. Still his choice, and do not know his children from his 2nd wife. My children have no grandfather and I still struggle with feelings of inadequacy. I wonder about the choices I've made. How different would my life be if I had more confidence in my self and valued myself more? Today's a bad day. Most are ok but I don't think I'll ever escape these feelings. They carry over into my other relationships. Does my mother blame me for her divorce? I don't think she likes me much, just tolerates me for the sake of her only grandchildren.
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