How to feel better about Life

Dealing with and accepting Life is all good if you're religious, or spiritual, or have some other great motivator to keep you energised when you wake up each day, but what about those of us who don't? We don't have faith to fall back on when everything turns upside down. We don't have karma to keep us warm at night when someone does wrong by us. We're lacking that something essential that seems to make it more worthwhile and rewarding to carry on. Yet, we do carry on - but it feels like we're sleep-walking. Inside, you probably feel like you're not quite here, but not quite not. Those of us who feel this way are sometimes easy to spot. Many of us hide it quite well though. We may seem to get by OK from day to day but, the reality is, we've come to one simple conclusion that just won't shake away: there is no meaning of life.

It boils down to just one question

The sentiment above may actually be phrased differently in your mind, as it can be expressed in many ways. However it's expressed though, they all leave you with the same question: What's the point? It probably leaves you feeling fed up most of the time. You may have tried religion, spirituality, alcohol, drugs, or all of the above, as ways to distract or rid yourself of the feeling, but none of them have provided the spark you're looking for. I know what it's like because of I've been there. Most of the time I was pretty good at masking it, or kind of forgetting about it for a while. But it was always there, and it always comes back to my attention eventually, reminding me that nothing has changed.

I know that no single thing can change your mind or your outlook on life. Whatever it is that led you to thinking and feeling this way, this is what you believe. The problem is it's making it hard to feel good about most of the things that make up your life.

If you're still reading, then I'm thinking that at least some of the above resonates with you. It sounds familiar. Now you're here, wanting to know how to feel better about life. Well, let's make something clear first - my aim isn't to try to convince you to think another way. My aim is to help you deal with the way you are, and feel better despite the way you think. Maybe what follows will help you. Before you read further though, there's something I want you to know:

There are many of us; you are not alone.

Below are the four points that lifted me out of the vacuum, and pushed my life in a NEW direction entirely. They are the BIG ONES. So, firstly, suspend disbelief. Just try them. Even if you try nothing else on this page, try these four things. What have you got to lose? They will make it easier to deal with life. Further down, you'll find some smaller things to do help make you feel better, most of which you may well consider meaningless - you'll be correct, they don't mean anything. But NONE of them are pointless. In fact, the aim is the same with all of them: to make YOU feel BETTER about LIFE!

DON'Ts and DO's: The Four Points of 'The Compass'

DON'T EXPECT anything from life

I know it may be a hard concept to get your head around, but you need to accept this as your truth. It may seem like a pessimistic view, but actually it's more of a pragmatic one. Expectation is the true source of disappointment. If you remove expectation, or can at least learn to manage your expectations, disappointment essentially evaporates. Remember, Life doesn't owe you anything, so expect nothing. Treat everything that you get out of Life as a bonus, because Life could easily give you far less.

DON'T try to assign any meaning to life

Assume that there is no meaning. OK, so your first reaction to that statement may be to perceive it as "negative", but actually, when you assume there is no meaning, it liberates you from the search for meaning. The futile search becomes completely irrelevant to you. You will no longer keep asking "WHY?", because you realise THERE IS NO "WHY?". Once you get your head around this, the energy you wasted searching fruitlessly for "the meaning of life" will be diverted to more useful and practical endevours that contribute to enhancing your life in a more satisfactory way. Instead of looking for meaning, look for enjoyment. Find as many ways as possible to change your world and make it a more pleasant place to be.

DO make DIFFERENT decisions

If you think that most of the decisions you ever made were the wrong ones, then consciously set out to make different ones. From here on out, every time you have a decision to make, consider what you would normally do - what's within your normal pattern of behaviour, then CHOOSE AN ALTERNATIVE.

DO PRAISE yourself

Give yourself credit when you do something positive. Found a better job? Got a pay rise? Wrote a great essay? Created something that you're proud of? Did you try something you wouldn't have tried before? Did you help someone today? Tell yourself how AWESOME YOU ARE for doing it! It's not as narcissistic as it sounds. Just REMEMBER to give yourself a pat on the back every once in a while.

So those are the BIG ones. I say BIG because I believe they're the most difficult to do and adhere to. As I said above, if you don't try anything else on this page, you should at the very least try these. I cannot stress enough the importance of these Compass Points. Combined, they really will send you in a new direction!

If you think you can handle these, then you TRULY ARE READY to change the way you feel about Life. Keep on reading. IF, on the other hand, you're not convinced by the Four Point Compass, maybe you'd prefer a more conventional approach.

Even if you haven't tried (or aren't willing to try) the Four Points of The Compass, there is still a range of smaller things you can try, they make more sense though if you let The Compass guide your experience. All the things that follow fall under one general umbrella: 'Beautification'.

Put Simply...

Beautification is enhancement, or improvement. Beauty is normally associated with physical appearance, but in this context, it's not simply about improving the appearance, it's about improving the experience!

So what can you do to 'Beautify' YOUR experience?

As I alluded to in the 2nd Point of The Compass, you need to focus on the things that bring you some enjoyment or satisfaction, then expand on these things. For instance, I really enjoy making music, and writing lyrics. During the dark times, making music was the ONLY thing that brought me satisfaction. I believe this is because I didn't need any reason to do it, and the only thing that compelled me to do it was the fact that I ENJOYED doing it. It brought (and still brings) me satisfaction to create something. I looked at this, and thought of other ways I could create, to get more satisfaction out of my experience. I tried several things, one of which was web-design. I enjoyed it, so I did more of it. I also found I enjoyed writing - so I did more of that too.

You can do the same - look at the things that give you some level of enjoyment, find the common thread, and do more with it.

If you can't think of anything though, don't worry. I'm going to point you in the direction of some small things you can do to make a BIG difference, and Beautify YOUR experience. Combined with The Compass, you will start to feel better about Life in no time!

1. FORGET ABOUT REASON for a moment, and go do something that you actually WANT to do. Go do something that you will enjoy. If you can't think of anything you enjoy, pick something random that you never would have considered trying, AND GO DO IT!



2. 
   Read a book. Self-help, Biography, Fiction... Whatever it is that piques your interest, get on it and start reading! Feeding your mind is definitely recommended, it keeps you thinking and encourages fresh thought. You can find a hand-picked selection of books HERE.
   



3. 
   Go somewhere you've never been. There's a lot of Beauty in the world, and you're probably missing out on most of it. If you can't afford to do any major travelling, pick a day to go visit another part of town, or some attraction you've never got around to seeing, be it a museum, gallery, a park, or even the zoo! Fresh experiences help to prevent that stagnant feeling.
   



4. 
   SOCIALIZE. Yes, I said it. It's probably the last thing you feel like doing, but you should do it anyway. I don't mean that you should go partying, just spend time with positive people. If you don't know anyone positive, find a forum related to one of your interests, and get involved!
   



5. 
   Add some Beauty to your environment. Do not under-estimate the power of aesthetics. Imagine how you feel when you see attractive images and colours. It's completely subjective (but all human experience is). During that moment of observation, the way you feel changes, your mood is elevated, even if just for that moment. Bring as much into your life as possible to help keep your mood elevated. Get a nice image and put it up on your wall, or at the very least change the desktop wallpaper on your computer!