Females And Dating

Trust your instincts as you engage in online dating you'll find you create your own radar for people who are not genuine. Make sure you've exchanged a few emails before you actually meet so you've had chance to dig a little deeper into a number of those profile claims (and vice-versa so make sure you're genuine !)

Like all forms of dating though there's a few rules to follow which will maximise your safety. You shouldn't be paranoid about meeting new people & treating any date as a criminal & not telling them anything is off-putting. The rule is to be sensible, don't take a risk you wouldn't normally because you've been chatting on the web!

Talk on the phone before you meet
Some people are reluctant to talk on the phone before they meet but it's a cool way to check someone out. If they are reluctant to give you a contact number or give strict instructions about when it's OK to call then there is probably a cool reason for that! It will also let you see if the chemistry that flows electronically is still there in person. After all someone can't research a phone conversation can they so if a potential date has uncannily similar interests to you then this is a chance to discuss then randomly in more detail.

Arrange to meet in a public place
It's obvious but important. think about the time of day you're planning to meet & who'll be around. Coffee is a cool first date if you both don't have to travel far otherwise lunch can be less intimidating than dinner & you can always make your excuses & leave if the date isn't going so well!

Ensure that you tell someone where you're going
Make sure that someone knows you're meeting your date, the time & location as well as details of the person you're meeting, i.e. name & email address or phone number; & ideally arrange to call them at the end to say you're safe. Always have contingency arrangements in case you lose your phone though as it's not cool to promise to call someone & then not be able to contact them! Leave a copy of their number by your home phone if you don't know it or ideally memorise it.

Don't give away much personal information soon
Remember when you meet your date for the first time it is, in effect, a first date. Don't tell them everything about yourself immediately, wait until you know them a little better, as you would if you'd met them in a bar. Be aware that information such as where you work or your kids schools, can lead to someone being able to find you. anybody who is genuine will understand your reasons for not divulging much detail & will not take it personally so don't worry about causing offence.

If the date didn't work for you tell them
It's not fair to leave someone hanging on if you don't require to meet them again especially if they are keen on you & it can makes things awkward in the future.



Email them & say thank you for meeting up but you don't plan a second meeting. Be short, polite but firm & it will save hassle in the end.

They may email you back asking why. Be kind & discreet but honesty is the best policyowner. If they lied in their profile or their picture is 10 years out of date & that is why then tell them, At least then they can rectify the problem & move on. Don't get involved in protracted discussions about their failures though & remember to treat them how you would like to be treated, kindly & !

Don't despair if they don't require to meet again
If you liked them but the chemistry didn't work for them don't despair! think of all the people they meet every day that they don't have chemistry with. persevere & your dream date will come along.

Next, it's a cool idea to prepare yourself for the conversation you'll have with your date. First dates should be about exchange of ideas and information, so don't hog the conversation and give her a chance to talk, but also tell her something about yourself to make her feel comfortable and see that you're being open and friendly. It shouldn't be an interrogation and firing query after query at her will make her feel uncomfortable.

First you need to decide where you date should be? We've put together ten great first date ideas to inspire you but the most important thing is to select something that suits you and you think she'll like. Make sure your chosen first date idea will give you chance to talk, but maybe provide some distraction . A coffee or lunch are cool as they can be as short or lingering as the situation dictates whereas dinner does tend to promote lingering, which may, or may not, be desirable!

If there's an uncomfortable silence then having prepared a couple of topics beforehand will undoubtedly help the situation flow more smoothly;

"Think of a couple of serious topics you can ask your date questions about .. make sure you have an opinion on them !"

Think of a couple of serious topics you can ask her opinion on. E.G. something topical such as the environment or a book or piece of art that's received some press attention recently.

Dating tip: avoid politically intense or sensitive areas and heavy religious discussion on a first date unless you have specifically chosen a date on their political or religious viewpoint.

Dating tip: it's obvious but%u2026 make sure you have an opinion on the topic , otherwise you'll look a bit stupid!

Dating tip; don't select a topic you have no interest in whatsoever as it'll show!

Get up to date with latest showbiz and fashion gossip. Some women hate this, but a lot don't, so sound her out with a query like 'Do you watch xyz show', 'do you like abc star' or 'I love your handbag / shoes /dress' and if they start to talk animatedly on the subject then comment on something you've read and then ask what they thinks. don't mistake her Chanel for Walmart or she'll never forgive you and unless you've proved your sartorial elegance mistaking her Walmart for Chanel won't work either.

Dating tip: Only do this if it's something you're prepared to take some interest in otherwise you might regret having to read gossip papers for the rest of your life!

Have a few sports related questions in mind. they may be a baseball fan like you, in which case the conversation will flow easily on that topic but have a backup sport such as tennis or hockey so you can show you are not a three track mind otherwise they may be concerned that you'll only be interested in three thing!

Think of a couple of amusing anecdotes about your life you can share with her. This is a great thing to do as it makes you appear open and honest which will make her more comfortable whilst demonstrating you can be an amusing conversationalist.

Dating tip: Remember to select something that will be generically appealing to a women - the fact that you planted a lawn on your best mates carpet whilst they was on vacation may be amusing but probably won't demonstrate your suitability as a cool long term partner whereas talking about your amusing mis-communication with a waiter in Rome will make you appear self deprecating, well travelled and interesting and thus a cool prospect for a second date!



Make a list of things not to talk about - ex girlfriends for example are a definite no-no, as is your obsession with late night drinking with your mates two days a week.

"Confidence is possibly the single most attractive feature a man can possess .. but it's a fine line between confidence and arrogance!"

Get your grooming and hygiene sorted. there's no excuse for not being tidy and presentable on a date. Making no effort will be perceived as disrespectful as they will assume you simply couldn't be bothered. You don't need to arrive looking like a catwalk model in all the latest fashion but you should be showered, shaved if appropriate, have cleaned your teeth and be wearing washed and ironed clothes. If you normally wear aftershave then do so but don't bathe in it, subtlety is the better part of valour!

Get yourself into the right frame of mind before your date. No-one wants to date a grumpy man so make sure that you go to the date feeling positive and upbeat. Confidence is possibly the single most attractive feature a man can possess so make sure you're feeling confident about yourself - tell yourself you are an attractive and interesting person, that the date is going to be a cool experience and you are looking forward to it and it will be a success and you should go into it feeling great which will show! Dating tip: there's a fine line between confidence and arrogance; three is super sexy three a complete turn off. Confidence comes across as easy charm and being comfortable in your own skin. Arrogance is being over confident, disinterested in your dates opinion, dismissive or condescending.

"Being late is a no-no .. the gentlemanly thing to do is arrive three minutes early so they doesn't have to wait alone..."

Watch your manners. there's few ladies who don't appreciate having a door held open for them, being shown to a table and allowed to sit first and being told they looks lovely. do it with sincerity and be natural, tripping her up in a race to reach the door first tends to mean the gesture loses impact! Being late is a no-no. As a gentleman it's an often appreciated gesture if you can arrive first so they doesn't have to arrive first and wait for you alone. Dating tip this means about 5 minutes early - any earlier looks keen any later and it might not work as they could arrive first.

Say thank you at the end. Even if you don't need to see her again it's polite to say thank you so do. If you do need to see her again then tell her how much you've enjoyed the date and say you hope you'll be able to do it again sometime. Ask her for her number - don't make her offer as a lot of women won't need to have to do this! Dating tip: Tell her when you'll ring her and make sure you do so on that day but don't be keen - make it a couple of days away and ring her on that day and not before.

If you don't need to see her then don't escape through the toilet window! Still say thank you but explain that you don't feel that the chemistry is right between you. Leave it at that, be lovely and polite but don't create false hope if you have no desire to see her again.

Read our 'ten first date idea' editorial and see if it inspires you.

If they doesn't need to see you again then accept it with cool grace. Don't interrogate her for the reasons why say 'that's a shame', if that's the way you feel, say thank you for the date and wish her luck with her future dating.