Where Did All the Good Guys Go?

Mr Rochester: 

• This guy has a temper, which he'll aim at anyone, including the woman he loves.
  
  
• On the day of his wedding, it was revealed that he was already married and had his first wife locked up in the attic of his huge manor house.
  
  
• He took care of his daughter because he had to, not because he wanted too and would have sent her away except he feared it would cause a scandal in doing so.
  
  
• It took being nearly burnt alive, going blind, losing his arm, and being left penniless with nothing to bring him to his senses.
  
  

Capt Jack Sparrow 

• But why is the rum gone?
  
  
• I deserved that...
  ...and that...
  I don't think I deserved that.
  
  
• I like to wave at those moments as they pass me by.
  
  

• A man who is not a freaking coward and runs off at the drop of a pin. *AARRGH* There's just so many times a guy can run away from his own shadow, before you want to kick him. I know this from experience.
  
  
• A man who will defend me. Kind of goes with the last one. I really, really, really HATE it, when a bully shows up, and your boyfriend high tails it out of there leaving the girl to deal with the scum. I know this from experience too, not once has a man ever stood up for me.
  
  
• Don't be ashamed to be seen in public with me: Either you want to be with me or you do not want to be with me. If you can't let your friends know you associate with me, that tells me than that I am not one of your friends, nor do you truly consider me to be one of your friends, otherwise you would not be hiding me from your friends, but rather including me with them. If you can't include me as one of your friends, than you have no business be with me at all.
  
  You can't even begin to image how much it hurts to be told you ae not good enough to be seen in public with the man who claims he loves you.
  
  
• It's one thing to want loyalty and dislike a cheat, it's a whole other thing to have been cheated on. Been there, done that, went from mildly disliking cheats, to believing the theory "Castrate them all!". If you can't be a one woman man, than don't come near me, because after having been cheated on, I now hate cheaters.
  
  
• I have 14 cats, 1 dog, and 40+ roosters. In the past my list has included: horses, goats, more than 2,000 hens, more than 500 roosters, 5 squirrels, a few dozen 20 - 50 lb wild Snapping Turtles, fish, eels, 3 parrots, rabbits, a cowatti, 200+ ducks, 24 cats not including the ones I have now, and 8 dogs not including one I have now (note that I had all 8 of them at the same time) and a pigeon that lived on my hat and slept on my head for 9 years. I'm an animal rights activist. I rescue ferals, strays, homeless, and otherwise unwanted animals. All of the above were/are pets, and all but the biggest ones, lived in the house with me...roosters asleep on the bookshelves... yes... I do, will, and have put the animals first. I kind of need to have a man who likes lots and lots and lots of pets.
  
  
• He really needs to like kids. Why? Well, people outside my family (namely my ex) have described my family as being "like a weird mafia family". Why? Well, because there are more than 300 of us, and we all know everything each other is doing, and they all land unannounced at our house, quite often, because we are the ones with a farm and enough room for 20 or 30 kids to run wild all at once. There are 4 generations of us: Twelve original brothers and sisters, each of whole has no less than 4 kids, 8 being the average, with the current record at 15. Their kids, all have kids, with the same kinds of numbers, and so do their kids. I am from the second generation, and I am one of 64 kids born to the 12 original kids, most of those 64 kids now having 6 to 8 kids of their own. We have BIIIIIG family reunions, completely unplanned and unannounced, usually involving people landing in our back yard and setting up tents while we are not home, big surprise, happens every year or so, and than our yard, our land, our garden, our barns, and our house filled with lots and lots and lots of kids. You gonna start spending serious time with me, than you better start planning on being around a lot of kids. Fortunately as their kids get older, their families land unannounced in our backyard less and less often, so who knows, maybe 10 years from now I won't have to deal with them and their kids dropping in out of the blue. I can always dream, can't I?
  
  
• Basically, I want a man who will protect me, someone I can say I feel safe with, and someone I can trust to not be chasing every other woman in town, who at the same time has no problem with unusually high concentrations of animals and children.
  
  
• Oh yeah... and though I've since left the church, I was raised Mormon, which means: all men who drink and smoke are out too.
  
  
• And one last thing... my room is wall papered with posters/clocks/wall hanging/etc of Johnny Depp, C*C*DeVille, and Lord Sesshomaru, and I'm not taking those down... most of them went up when I was 12 years old and I haven't taken them down yet in spite of my ex's protests. Nor will I stop dressing like Willy Wonka, Naraku, Sessho Maru, Darkwing Duck, Doctor Who, the Sense & Sensibility girls or and of the other "costumes" that make up my normal street cloths. So, I kid of need a man, who either is also a life acting CosPlayer or at least doesn't mind that I'm one.
  
  
• So, what do you think? I'm single for life, ain't I?