Finding Authentic Happiness

Too many people are unhappy. For they don't know what authentic happiness is, and therefore do not know how to find it. So they end up looking for it in the wrong places, like in material things, relationships, and worldly pleasures.

Or they buy tons and tons of books, and tapes, audio CDs, etc., that really don't help. I have been there before, so I know what I am talking about. And I believe that there are important things that the current Happiness gurus MISS, without intending to, in teaching people how to be AUTHENTICALLY happy.

There were principally three reasons that motivated me to do all the research.



1) The first one was the fact that I was going in and out of depression since about 30 years ago. And at that time, in the later part of the 70's, there were not too many medications nor well-developed therapies that were specific for depression.

Anybody who has gone through depression knows how awful it is. Victims feel so bad that many of them even try to kill themselves. Thank God He spared me of such kinds of thoughts. If you know someone who has depression, NEVER take it lightly.

Since they feel so down and not interested in doing anything -- NOT even the activities that they used to enjoy before -- then getting them to seek professional help will be a big challenge to you. But you have to be creative in finding ways to convince them to see a psychotherapist. The earlier it is treated, the better the chances of eliminating the depression.

Another thing, never say IT'S ONLY IN YOUR MIND. And never CRITICIZE them for their behaviour. You will just make them feel more depressed.

2) Secondly, I was not really particularly excited about the medications that were available then, since the side effects were such that I would rather have the depression and deal with it, than deal with the side-effects of the medications.

3) Finally, I felt that the psychotherapists whom my parents sent me to, were almost as "CLUELESS" as I was as to how to treat my depression attacks. They seem to content themselves with experimenting with different medications and therapies.

One in particular, was more like PSYCHO-THE-RAPIST, than a PSYCHOTHERAPIST. It was obvious that he was just after the money than anything else. HE PROBABLY WAS THE MOST CLUELESS OF THEM ALL.

Think about it. All the PSYCHOTHERAPISTS whom I was seeing then, were using me as their guinea pig for depression medication. And I had to PAY THEM FOR IT? How fair is that? I had to buy the medicines, and then I had to suffer from the side effects. Shouldn't they be paying me, instead of me paying them?

Victims in the 90's are "more fortunate" than the ones who experienced depression earlier. For there have been many significant breakthroughs in the research and the development of medications and therapies to fight depression. There are even HERBAL as well as homeopathic alternatives that have been found to be effective in fighting depressions.

But by then, I did not have any use for any of them anymore. For I was well in the way of getting much better, by applying all the knowledge that I have been learning.

But before I got to that stage of recovery from depression, it was one EXTREMELY TOUGH battle. It even got so bad that I even had to quit school twice, thereby losing my FULL ACADEMIC SCHOLARSHIPS from very prestigious schools. And I even got into drugs and alcohol, thinking they will help. Which they didn't.

So, I decided that, since our kind God has gifted me with well above average intelligence, and a passion for reading anything and everything, it was best to do the research myself. That started my long journey of searching for the way to help myself overcome depression and also to find a way to stay AUTHENTICALLY happy.

I read every self-help book that I could get my hands on. And while reading them, I chose only to take notes of what made sense to me. In a way, my being a victim of depression was a BLESSING IN DISGUISE. For it gave me an ADVANTAGE over the psychiatrists, psychologists, and self-help book authors.

I knew from ACTUAL EXPERIENCE what materials made me feel good, REGARDLESS OF HOW SMALL the positive effect was. The psychiatrists, psychologists. and authors did not have that advantage. They were ALL looking at it ONLY from a clinical and theoretical and point of view.

And don't disregard the monetary motivations, i.e., the longer they have you as a patient, the more money they can make from you. But, to be fair, not all psychotherapists are like that.

Anyway, I strongly believed, even at that time, that each self-help book author has discovered certain truths that the others didn't, and vice versa. My advantage was that my own disorder served as a FILTER.

And so, I would like to believe that my method, which I will FREELY SHARE with you, is an effective compilation of the BEST discoveries of all the materials concerning this topic.


WHAT ABOUT MY CREDENTIALS?

But you may ask, "Are you saying that your experiences and your years of self-directed research, constitute your CREDENTIALS?" The answer to that is obviously YES!

I know what you may be thinking. But hey, consider Tony Robbins. He also did not have any formal academic training in helping people find happiness. What he did was read hundreds and hundreds of books, and then combined all the knowledge he learned. His methods seem to work on a lot of people. NOT ALL, but still a lot. Hasn't his work make him a media star?

Let me put it in another way. Just supposing there is another Civil War in the U.S. And as an ordinary soldier, you are getting different orders from Lt. Sylvester "Rambo" Stallone, from Lt. Mel "Lethal Weapon" Gibson, from a Lieutenant who, after graduating Summa Cum Laude from Westpoint, works as an aide of a General, and from another Lieutenant, who did not graduate with honors, but has gone through several wars, and has several medals to show for it.

Whose orders will you follow, if you are to carry them out yourself, and engage the enemy?

If you value your safety, then the answer is obvious.

My writing about my approach to free myself from depression and to experience AUTHENTIC happiness, is my way of thanking God for showing me the way.

He who lives in love, lives in God, and God lives in him. 1 John 4:16

What is Happiness? Happiness is a state of well-being characterized by emotions ranging from contentment to intense joyfulness and pleasure. What is AUTHENTIC happiness? It is that kind of happiness that is NOT DEPENDENT on anything but you, and ultimately God.

How does one become AUTHENTICALLY happy? Well, that is a really long topic to discuss. Especially since nobody ever taught us, when we were children, how to be happy. And when we went to school, there were never any classes on "How to be happy." Also now entire books have been written about it, so you can imagine how long this topic is.

But there is a very QUICK WAY to experiencing AUTHENTIC happiness. Anybody can become happy simply by LOVING. But isn't that too simple? Yes, indeed, it is as simple as that. But as simple as it is, it is not that easy.

Say that again? Nah, you can READ that line again. Just read on, and you'll see what I mean. Better yet, read all the upcoming lenses, so that you'll finally get out of your rut and be authentically happy, finally.

Let's examine the phrase "He who lives in love, lives in God, and God lives in Him." This is no ordinary phrase. This is a DIVINE REVELATION. That means that there is no human being who could have discovered this. For who can know what is in the mind of God? So in His desire to teach us the Truth, God Himself had to reveal this to us.

What does this Divine Revelation have to do with finding authentic happiness? Well, since we all know that, among other things, that God is PERFECTLY happy, then if we live in love, and if God lives in us, doesn't it LOGICALLY follow that we share in His happiness, or that we become happy?

Have you noticed that when you are in love, everything just seems to look wonderful, and you feel happy? Whenever you express love for anybody, for yourself, or even for anything, don't you feel happy? You know, by experience, that the answer to these questions is YES.

Not yet convinced? Okay, do this little exercise. Say ANY OR ALL OF THESE to yourself, "Oh I just love myself, my life, the people around me, the trees, the leaves, the grass, the flowers, the sky, the heat or the coolness of the weather, the sounds I hear, etc.". Whether you express your love for one, a few, or all that you see, hear, and all that you can think of, the important thing is that YOU HAVE TO REALLY FEEL THAT LOVE FLOWING FROM YOU to whatever or whoever it is you are sending your love to. Notice how you feel. Tell me if that little exercise didn't make you experience even the slightest happiness. Simple? Right! Easy? NO!

You see, we are not used to expressing love. Due mainly to our fallen human nature, to social conditioning, and to many other factors, expressing love is hardly a habit that we normally have. Instead, we have the habit of expressing emotions that are based in fear, or even fear itself.

So how do you establish a habit of loving? It's not a big secret. PRACTICE it as often as you can. Here, I must admit I am a bit over-simplifying. For we have been conditioned to be so self-centered, and so critical of both ourselves and of others, that expressing love for everything is not as easy as you would like it to be.

You see, all of us have beliefs and convictions in our mind, most of which are unconscious, that prevent us from expressing love.

For example, you are looking at a crowd, and you practice this exercise of expressing love for all the people in that crowd. But suddenly, you recognize somebody whom you do not like. Is it easy for you to continue loving all, without exceptions? I doubt it.

Or, for example you are just driving around, and expressing love to everything that you see, saying to yourself something like, "Oohh, I just love life at it is, etc., etc." Then you get stuck in heavy traffic. Can you still continue to LOVE LIFE as it is?" Or does your emotion suddenly turn into something like frustration?

Observe how your emotions shift from positive to negative, to positive again, so on and so forth, in any given day. Journal all your emotions as they shift from one kind of emotion to another. And write each emotion, big and small, and the REASONS that triggered your experience of each one. You'll notice how plentiful they are, just in one day. By the way, keep those journal notes. You will be needing them soon.

Does your emotional state have to be that unstable? No, it doesn't have to be that way at all. But only if you MAKE A COMMITMENT to do the work that will enable you to have MASTERY over your emotions. Don't worry, it is not hard work.

The method that I discovered, after over 20 years of researching, has worked for me. And I believe it will work for you too. Hey, you may have problems with being consistently happy, but unlike me, you didn't have to work against depression for over 20 years.

But, again, it will only work if you have a STRONG DESIRE to want AUTHENTIC happiness. I want you to finally admit to yourself that chasing after worldly things and pleasures CAN NEVER give you the AUTHENTIC happiness that I know you deeply desire.

Before you misunderstand me, I AM NOT ASKING YOU TO STOP ENJOYING THE WORLD'S PLEASURES. What I want is for you to STOP BELIEVING that they will give you AUTHENTIC happiness.

But if you have read this far, chances are you are well aware of the fact that external events
and things can only MAKE
YOU COMFORTABLE, excited, or even happy. But only for a while.
















Then, you will have to buy something else, or find another fun activity, in order to experience the "happiness" that you are looking for. In the process, you get more and more frustrated. Not to forget that you will have to work harder in order to afford all the fun activities and shopping spree. It becomes REALLY TIRESOME, after a while.

So, if you want to be able to TAKE CONTROL, and, even eventually have MASTERY of your emotions, then read Part 2: What are Beliefs.