How To Fix a Bad Relationship

There are certain traits that every healthy relationship needs to thrive. These traits have to be followed and applied by both partners, or the relationship will suffer and eventually fail. If you follow these 5 simple steps, you can learn how to develop and maintain a healthy relationship without the pitfalls that often come along.

1. Communicate With Each Other

Communication is one of the most important factors when it comes to building a healthy relationship. If you do not communicate with your partner, then neither of your know what the other needs. Let each other know how you are feeling, this keeps both of you involved and interested in the relationship.

2. Give Your Support

No one wants to be around someone who does not stand behind them and believe that they can do what they want to do. If you partner is trying to achieve something, supporting them can lead to a more healthy relationship.

3. Trust Each Other

Trust is another key ingredient of a healthy relationship. Without trust for each other, you will always be looking over each other's shoulders, and that certainly is not a healthy way to live. Just have faith that your partner is just as dedicated to the relationship as you are.

4. Don't Change

Do not sacrifice who you are for your relationship. Everyone has a personality or traits that make them unique. If you begin to change yourself, or expect your partner to change, neither one of you will ever be happy. The foundation of a healthy relationship is accepting and loving yourself and your partner for who they are.

5. Tell the Truth

Honesty can make or break a relationship. If you can't be 100 percent truthful with your partner, or if they can't be truthful with you, then you will never develop a healthy relationship. Even small white lies could damage a relationship, so avoid them at all costs. Developing a healthy relationship doesn't have to be hard. Use the five tips listed about to help you map out a good path for your current relationship, so that it remains strong as time passes.

Most of the things mentioned here are simple ways to bring a smile to your partner's face and warm your own heart. If there are deep rooted issues of mistrust and anger these tips may make things feel a bit lighter and go slightly smoother but they will in no way address the underlying problems, and may even prolong the inevitable. But if, on the other hand, your relationship just needs a little pick me up (as most relationships do at some point) then here are some good ways to start:

1) Say "I love you" more often.

2) Initiate simple touching more often such as hello and good by kisses and hugs (I am always surprised by how many couples run out the door to carpool or work without an affectionate good-bye).

3) Make a date-night or have special one on one time at least weekly if not more often.

4) Talk more about what you are feeling. Tell your partner more of what is going on with you when you are contemplative or withdrawn. Simply put - let your partner in more.

5) Listen more to your partner. To add to #4 listen as your partner tells you what is going with them instead of always racing to get the task de jour done.

6) Ask questions. Remember when you and your partner were dating and you took a real interest in their day and their stories? You most likely asked questions and engaged in conversations. Don't stop now even if you think you have all the answers. We all change over time and the answer to the same question asked 10 years earlier may be completely different now. The problem is usually not that people change and grow apart, as we are so often lead to believe, but that people change while their partner isn't paying attention and that creates the distance.

7) Accept the humanness of your mate (and hope they do the same for you). Everyone has their failings - their shortcomings. Recognize what those things are in your mate and learn not to be so reactive (assuming they are not deal-breakers to the relationship). Acknowledge that even their weaknesses (and yours) are part of what makes them a whole person.

8) Give gifts and notes. A material display of affection doesn't need to be pricey (or it can be). A sentimental item, a candy or dessert, a flower will all serve the purpose of letting the other person know that you were thinking of them when you were apart. It makes the other person feel good.

9) Play together. As you go through your days accomplishing the business of life remember the things you did together, when you first dated, that made you eager for another date together. If those are things you are no longer interested in then come up with new ways to play together.

10) Show your gratitude for the other person's presence in your life. Acknowledge, on a regular basis that you appreciate what they do to take care of the family or to make your house a place you like to come home to. Don't wait for the Hallmark Holidays to verbalize these words of appreciation. Sprinkle them throughout your life together.

Relationship problems are always going to crop up in any relationship. It should be expected to happen from time to time. Some are quick fixes, other problems can seem almost insurmountable. No relationship is perfect.

Most toxic relationships were not created overnight. A couple did not suddenly wake up one morning to find themselves in a bad relationship. With most relationships that turn into ugly ones, it took some time for patterns to become established.

For a couple who are in a bad relationship, fixing the problems can be the toughest challenges the couple may ever have to face. But working things out is the best thing to do. Avoiding the problems will never make them go away on their own. The problems will only fester and grow.

Ultimately, toxic relationships are not only destructive to the couple's bond, they can also lead to health problems that are physical, as well as be psychologically damaging. The stress that is caused by most relationship problems, if left alone, can cause so much turmoil between a couple that often will lead to separation or divorce.

Even the worst of relationship problems do not have to result in a break-up. Whether the problems are over finances, family matters, infidelity or any other problems, it is important to remember that almost anything can be worked out if love is still present.

It is important for both parties to find a space to discuss what the problems are without the discussion turning into a fight. Lay down a few rules of engagement before talking to each other about these sensitive issues. No blame should be placed. Respect the other's point of view and remember it is alright to disagree. This discussion should not be about winning points for being right. This discussion is about both of you being open and honest with each other, not about who is going to win this discussion.

Open communication and honesty is something that might have been lacking before. This is probably why there are relationship problems now. When the same relationship issues keeps cropping up over and over again, they grow in size.

Discussing with your partner openly and honestly about the problems you are both having between the two of you will open up ways to resolve the conflicts. It is important to remember that love can work wonders. When there is still love between the two of you, then there is always a way.

Sometimes it is necessary to create rules of engagement when fighting. All couples argue, but when this turns toxic enough to deeply hurt a relationship, the two of you need to agree on rules to argue by. Excessive shouting and name calling is not constructive in any disagreements. Nor is threatening to do things that will hurt the other. Constructive arguing is about disagreeing, then finding resolve and exploring solutions.

Trust issues need to be examined and dealt with. If you do not trust your partner, this will take commitment and time to regain. Solid relationships are based on trust and commitment. Without these two elements present, your relationship will always be on shaky ground.

Listen to your partner and pay attention. Try putting yourself in his or her shoes. Remember, you cannot change who your partner is, nor should you try to change the way they feel about something. If there is a misunderstanding between the two of you, honest communication will bring this out. You will be respecting your partner if you really listen to what is being said without reading into it your own agenda.

Sometimes, the relationship issues can be so large that neither of you know where to go from where things are. Issues of infidelity, physical or mental abuse, etc. There are many relationship problems that can't seem to be resolved without some outside help.

A marriage counselor or relationship counselor can certainly help the two of you begin putting the relationship back together again. A counselor can help explore deeper core issues that can be creating problems within the relationship, then offer advice on steps to take in fixing the problems.

Most relationship problems do not have to end in a break-up. Love and commitment can work wonders, but both parties have to be committed to taking steps in order to work out the problems. Neither party should believe the problems will be fixed overnight. Change is not easy, but it is certainly better than living in a toxic relationship and doing nothing about it.

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Going through a break up is one of the most traumatic experiences you can go through, especially if the two of you were very close at one time. This may sound overly dramatic, but it's a proven fact that losing a relationship creates a similar degree of grief as losing a loved one who dies. The pain is overwhelming at times. How many more sleepless nights can you take? Is there something you can do to repair the relationship? If you want to learn how to save a relationship but feel powerless to change things, you must learn exactly what to do and what not to do in order to increase your odds of a successful reunion.

Accepting that this is happening is the first step towards healing. Whatever you resist, persists. Accept that you are going to go through a certain degree of emotional pain instead of fighting it. You will immediately feel a "release" that will give you some relief. Saving a relationship means accepting that there are certain things you can change and certain things you can't. But the good news is you have more power than you may think.

If you're serious about learning how to save a relationship the first thing you must do is immediately stop any type of pushy, needy or "desperate" behavior. This includes arguing about the relationship, writing love letters, trying to convince your partner or ex, etc. The more you push, the more they will pull away... it's human nature. When you're the one chasing, you give away all your power... and that is unattractive.

The idea is to work with human nature instead of against it. You do this by giving the other person their space. If you are already broken up, this mean no contact for a while... no phone calls, emails, messages through mutual friends, nothing for at least a few weeks, even a month or so. If you are still together but the relationship is on the rocks, then of course zero contact is not practical. But giving your partner their space still applies.

By giving them their space, you show that you are no longer desperate and needy. You are no longer chasing them... and that will usually spark their interest again. Why? Because just like it's human nature to pull away if you feel pushed, the opposite is also true... a person tends to be drawn towards someone they think is not entirely available.

During this period of giving them their space, be sure to involve yourself in plenty of positive activities. Start working on those personal goals you've been putting off, do things that make you happy and improve your life. Your partner will see the difference. This combined with your new attitude of independence will almost always draw them towards you again. Now, instead of you being the one chasing, you're both equals... and you can begin to work on the deeper problems that need healing.

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