It's times to catch up on the social graces of formal dinning

The world has made giant leaps when it comes to the advancement of communication and technology. There is the internet, faxes, email, iPods and lap tops computers. These have made such a difference on how people see things to the point that president Obama could give the queen of England a gift of a preloaded iPod of famous Broadway tunes and it is quite in order and ultra modern.


Somehow we have not advance in the social graces; in some cases we have even taken retrograde steps. Interpersonal skills are indeed on the decline and this decline is more pronounced in social graces especially table etiquette. This young generation can master the skills associate with the virtual world, however they find it much more difficult to function in the social and real world.


They absolutely do not know how to conduct themselves at social and formal occasions and this flaw is more pronounced in the area of table etiquette. It is very important that young adults learn the social graces, there are so few high paying jobs, available and so many highly qualified academic achievers ready to fill these positions that education and qualification has almost been shoved aside when prospect are called for interviews.


The knowledge and use of social graces are drawn on heavily by the interviewers and sometimes is the clincher that lands one bright individual over another. The new trend for interview for a high profile job often includes a meal in a highly sophisticated restaurant where the prospect is observed of how well he function in the use of table appointment and social graces associated with formal dinning. So many bright individuals have turned down formal dinner invitations and back out of interviews because they knew they were incompetent in this area of table etiquette.


Young individuals should endeavor to correct this social flaw and this paper is geared help you on your way. When invited to a formal meal the table may be set continual or America. One should not be flustered. If in doubt just start using the table appointment (i.e.) silver ware from the outside in from both left and right side of the place plate if you are served by a waiter. If you do come up on the buffet style your knowledge of meal service will enable you to serve yourself the correct course in the correct flatware (plates) and use the correct silver ware. However a real formal dinner you will be served so you need only to make sure you use the correct table appointments.


First rule: learn to identify the silver ware used in a formal dinner, then quickly observed the ones at the table to get acquainted with them.

Types of Forks.
1. The largest fork is used for the main course and is called the dinner fork, sometimes called the place fork and is usually placed nearest to the dinner plate on the left.

2. The salad fork is usually placed nearest to the left of the dinner fork .It has an extra thick prong to the left which is used for cutting such as lettuce.

3. fish fork is usually the smallest fork place to the left of the salad fork

4. The oyster fork has three prongs, and is supposed to be set to the right side after the dinner knife and next to the soup spoon. However in most formal table setting it is placed to the extreme left of the other forks

5. The dessert fork is usually place above the dinner plate with the handle turn to the left.


Types of Knives

1. The dinner knife is the biggest and is placed nearest to the dinner plate to the right.
2. The salad knife is shorter than the dinner knife with a rounded blade usually placed farthest from the dinner fork if salad will be served first.
3. The fish knife is next usually mistaken for a butter knife, it can be distinguished by it almost medieval sword like look
4. The steak knife is next it is sharper than the dinner and has serrated edges.
5. The butter knife is usually small with a rounded point and looks almost like a fish knife it is usually placed to across the top or to the right of the bread plate.


Types of spoons
1. The soup spoon is the largest spoon with a rounded tip and is placed farthest from the dinner knife if soup is the first course.
2. The dessert spoon is smaller version of the soup spoon but unlike the soup spoon the tip is oval
It is placed above the dinner plate with the handle turn to the right

As said before use your silver ware from the outside in. When you sit at the table quickly observe and get acquainted with the silver ware it will give you an idea of what is to be served. You will be more composed when the meal is served and you may be the model for some other dinner who is not so sure.

Glassware is also an area that one should pay some attention although the waiter will save you the embarrassment by serving into the correct glass. But it good to know in case you have to oversee a formal dinner.
The first rule is wine glasses are usually place on the setting according to size


Types of glasses

1. The water goblet is placed directly above the place knife usually the biggest glass and is held at the lower end when you drink.
2. The champagne glass is next to the water glass.
3. The claret or red wine or white wine glasses are positioned in front of or between the water goblet and champagne glasses. Red wine is usually cupped or cradled under the base to keep it warm
White wine is usually held by the stem of the glass to keep the wine chilled.
4. The sherry glass is placed either to the right or in front of the wine glasses.
N.B. Rather than grouping all the glasses at a setting they are sometimes arrange in a straight slanting line stating from the water goblet at the upper left to the sherry to the lower right.
Red wine is taken with red meat, white wine with white meat, sherry with pink meat.
(Red meat-beef,)(white meat-chicken, fish),( pink meat-pork).


Assessing the table setting
Although various culture may stipulate differently a place setting usually have a place plate in the center of the cover with the napkin on the place plate or to the extreme left of the forks. The dinner forks goes to the nearest left of the place plate and the others go to its left .


Knives go to the nearest right of the place plate. If soup is served the spoon goes to the farthest right of the knives. Soup is regarded as served with continental settings. The salad Knife will be in the second place with the continental setting. However if the salad is served first the salad knife is place farthest right from the place plate


Always remember in an American service the salad fork and knife will be the last silverware remaining on the table (except for the dessert silver ware) at the right and left respectively of the place plate in this service the salad usually comes last.
At the top of the place plate the desert fork and spoon in rare cases you will find a desert knife .these are the last silverware to be used. If the dinner is extremely formal you will be served coffee in which you will get the teas spoon along with small coffee cups called demitasse. The teaspoon is set to the right of the saucer to the right of the cup handle.


Tips How to perform at the dinner table

1. When you approach the table dependent on how formal you may be seated by the waiter. The chair is pulled out and you take your seat
(a) Spread out the napkin in your lap
( b ) Do not use it to wipe your face it is not a handkerchief.
(c) Do not use it to remove item from your mouth.
(d) When leaving the table if not finished leave napkin on your seat
(e) When finished leave it folded loosely on the table do not but it on the table until you are leaving.


2. The side or bread place will have the rolls, butter and the butter knife. Break off bite size pieces and butter only the piece you will place in your mouth. Never leave partially eaten bread on your plate. Do not use the bread to make a sandwich.
3. When you are asked to pass food do not serve yourself first wait until the dish has gone around then you serve yourself.
4. Never blow on your soup if you believe it is too hot. Use your spoon to spoon from the edges it is usually must cooler. Do not slurp and make a sound with your mouth. Always spoon away from you. Tilt the bowl away if you are trying to get all the soup. Always eat soup from the sides of the spoon.
5. If not served that way, cut up salad in bite size pieces before eating. Remember the large prong on the left of the salad fork may be used for cutting such as lettuce.
6. Never use your silverware to point around the table it is unacceptable to point when at the dinner table
7. Never speak with your mouthful.
8. When removing unwanted item from your mouth use the same method to remove (if you use a fork or your hand) use your fork or hand to remove it. Put the removed item on the side of your plate or the side plate. Never remove with your napkin.


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