Lullaby for Moms & Dads with Empty Arms

Did you know that of the 61 million women of childbearing age in the United States, there are 6 million pregnancies each year and only 3.9 million births? And 29,000 of those babies die in the first year of life. Over 2 million women each year grieve the loss of a baby, whether through miscarriage, stillbirth, or infant loss. That is 2.5% of the women in the United States of childbearing age, and 4.5% if you count the women who had abortions. Those statistics were from 2000 alone, imagine how many women that adds up to year after year. What was my statistic? One tenth of one percent of pregnancies end at full-term due to a cord accident. Our son Gabriel Jaxon Nester was stillborn at 38 weeks on April 12, 2004, the Monday after Easter.

In the early days of my grief I struggled with "why" and cringed at the oh-so common words of encouragement from well meaning Christian friends who said, "God has a plan." But, one day, the Holy Spirit prompted me with the realization that I'd been asking the wrong question "why did Gabe die?" And instead I should be asking, "why did Gabe live?" My first rebuttal was, well that's a stupid question, what was Gabe's quality of life for 38 weeks in my womb? But, I prayed about it and God showed me 1 Corinthians 15:46, "What came first was the natural body, then the spiritual body comes later."



So, why did he live for 38 weeks in my womb? My epiphany was the realization that Gabe had to FIRST be conceived and become alive in my womb before I could literally deliver him straight into his Heavenly Father's arms. Gabe had to have a mother and a father here on earth, in order to live his life in heaven. This insight didn't take away my tears but it did calm them, and helped the anger subside. Mary Jane Worden wrote, "Sometimes when we ask God our 'Why Questions', instead of answers He gives us comfort." I resolved to rest in His comfort and grow through this experience. My heart was now prepared to hear Gabe's poem (tied to the vase above), which took me to the next level of healing, by giving me vivid appreciation for the perfection of the only home Gabe will ever know.

But, it is still hard to grasp the dichotomy of our life on earth with respect to our eternal life in Heaven. One book on grief contains a quote from CS Lewis that helped me put it into perspective, "Our brief lives here on Earth are only the cover to the title page in the novel of our eternal stories that will be lived out to completion in heaven." As I'm able to make this hope real in my heart I'm able to transform my grief into a sense of anticipation of someday living out eternity with Gabe. We hope you will purchase this song in order to help others along this sad journey, giving them a peace that surpasses understanding.

However early on in her life it did not appear that would happen. From birth to age fourteen, Elizabeth would have eighteen bouts with an extremely serious lung illness, spending much of her childhood in hospitals. These illnesses took so much of her breath away that she could not even blow up a balloon...her doctors did not expect her to live.
Through fervent prayers of her family and people in ministry, including her then pastor, Jack Nester (Gabe's Grandfather) she experienced a miracle.
In her teenage years, she recorded her first album of Gospel music. Since then she has released six albums of Christian music [Elizabeth Dietsche, All The Way, Singer of My Soul, Unity, Songs for Children & You Can Move Mountains.] Along with performing the songs on the albums, Elizabeth pens a majority of the music she performs. Mrs. Montgomery has concertized throughout the U.S. and Europe, with over 2000 church and secular performances to her credit.
Elizabeth can be reached at her website or thru the Dayspring Agency .

Through the years I have experienced struggles, difficulties and disappointments-the same as anyone. Some experiences have been more trying than others. Serving in Vietnam and seeing friends die (I would go again if needed), questioning God's call upon my life (because I was looking at things from my perspective rather than His), being rejected and feeling betrayed by the denominational church, and having cancer surgery.


While you may have had worse things happen in your life, the worst for me was watching my son Neal and my daughter-in-law Holly hold their stillborn son Gabriel Jaxon and seeing the shock and pain, realizing that I could do nothing as a parent to ease the hurt.


So I cried out to the Lord and He gave me the answer, recorded in Gabe's song.

Jack Nester, Jr. has served as a pastor for 30 years. He was originally ordained by a denominational church and is now ordained by World Ministry Fellowship in Plano, Texas. He pastors Fellowship of Believers, a non-denominational church in Langley, Oklahoma and recently authored "Comfort or Commitment: What Christianity Was Meant to Be".