My Kid Is Driving Me Crazy! How To Get Back the Control and Change Yor Child's Behavior
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Don't LetYour Kids Drive You Crazy Anymore! Tips to Gain Control and Change Your Child's Behavior
Are your childrens' attitude and behavior driving you crazy?
Have you have tried everything you know to change your childrens' attitude and behavior with very little success?
Do you feel you need to gain some control in your household?
You aren't alone. Many of today's parents feel frustrated and helpless when dealing with their child.
After years as an educator and parent, I have learned some tips and tricks to change the attitude and bad behavior of your child . It won't be easy or a quick fix...afterall, your kids' bad attitude and behavior didn't happen overnight either!
But it's not as hard as you may think! It takes consistency, patience and a conscious effort on your part!
But how do you give your defiant and stubborn child the structure and consistency they need? The sooner and younger you learn how, the happier you and your child will be. An absolutely powerful and successful guide to assist you with your children in the 7 to 14 year range can be found by Clicking Here! It's not some mumbo-jumbo by someone that never lived with a defiant child, but by a real mom that used the techniques successfully in her own life and now shares them with you!
And if you're dealing with an out of control teen or pre-teen, I have found cut-to-the-chase parenting strategies that work immediately rather than months or years down the road. Click Here!
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3 Tips That Will Help Control Your Child's Behavior
You live a stressful life, what with work demands, shopping, paying the bills, friends, family, hobbies and everything else! And now, your child or children are driving you crazy. You come home, hoping to relax and have a peaceful environment, and the kids are out of control. Can't they see you're stressed? Oh, yes, they see. Maybe not consciously, but more on a subconscious level.
TIP # 1--Your Child Mirrors Your Mood
Your child or children pick up on your mood. So, when your stressed, angry, or frustrated, they are more likely to be that way, too. It's not something the child does on purpose, it's a natural reaction. Think about when your husband or wife is in a bad mood. If you're around them for any time, pretty soon you are in a bad mood, too. It works the same way with you children. They receive their cues from you! As difficult as it may be sometimes, it is important, if you want to alleviate the tension and chaos from your household, to project a calm and positive manner to your child.
TIP # 2-- You Are The Adult
Sounds silly, but time after time, I have seen a mother or father treat their child as if they had the mind of an adult. Children, even teenagers, do not have the development of their brain to comprehend completely the consequences of their actions. Children are self-absorbed. They are only thinking of their world, their immediate needs. When a parent gives their child too many choices, or tells them to do something and expects them to 'fill in the missing pieces' of the action required of them, the child is going to be frustrated, fail, act out, or disappoint you. Not on purpose, but because they don't have the knowledge, experience or development to be able to acceptably complete the task correctly or to your satisfaction. This, of course, stress' you out and you probably take it out on your child. But, think about what happened. Did you explain to your child every step he or she needed to do in order to successfully complete what you wanted? Or did you assume they would inherently know what to do?
TIP #3--Your Child Needs And Wants Structure
Young children to teenagers feel more secure and comfortable with structure and routine. They need to know what to expect and when to expect it. It is reassuring to them. When a child is an environment where activities, schedules, rules routines are constantly changing, the child will constantly be in a state of tension and, possibly, anxiety. Your child will behave in the ways you wish him or her to, when your child has developed a routine of acceptable behavior because you have created that structure and routine. What this means is that, as hectic and busy as the family schedule may be, you must make an effort to make a structured schedule and stick to it, at least 70% of the time. Dinner at a set time, homework to be completed before fun with the electronic games. Maybe cell phones in a basket until chores are done. If you have been running your family environment chaotic, the change to routine and structure needs to be implemented, not all at once, but gradually. First, family dinner at a set time, then bed time, and so on.
It's not going to be easy or an overnight turn around for your family life to change. Remember, you are the one in control of making it happen. Your children do want to please you! They aren't happy either when they are acting out or out of control. The sooner you start understanding your child's motivation and needs and creating an environment that supports those positively, the sooner your family life will be a joy to come home to.
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Does your teen often:
* lose his temper
* argue with adults
* refuse to comply with rules and requests
* deliberately annoy people
* blame others for his mistakes and misbehavior
Is your teen often:
* touchy and easily annoyed by others
* angry and resentful
* spiteful and vindictive
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Does your child suffer from ADHD ?
Decide that the behavior is not a problem because it's appropriate to the child's age and stage of development.
Attempt to stop the behavior, either by ignoring it or by punishing it.
Introduce a new behavior that you prefer and reinforce it by rewarding your child.
- You Can Change Your Child's Behavior!
- Accept your child's basic personality, whether it's shy, social, talkative or active. Basic personality can be changed a little, but not very much. Try to avoid situations that can make your child cranky, such as becoming overly stimulated, tired or bored. Don't criticize your child in front of other people. Describe your child's behavior as bad, but don't label your child as bad. Praise your child often when he or she deserves it. Touch him or her affectionately and often. Children want and need attention from their parents.
Find Books on Amazon to guide you in Changing Your Kids' Attitude!
The resources are there to help you deal with bad behavior!
What do you do when your child misbehaves?
Is it an automatic reaction...or to you think about it?
When your child misbehaves you react automatically, most of the time. How often do you stop and think about how you should react? This could be the difference between a one time occurance and repeat misbehaving.
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Tilly
Feb 3, 2012 @ 2:58 pm | delete
- My Husbands cousin moved in with us and she has 3 children who are all out of control and it is rubbing off on my 2 year old. Her 11 year old son is the worst. He lies, yells, hits, is very disrespectful to his mom, he is sneaky and hides his actions,and other things. I do not want to step on her toes or criticize her parenting skills but things have got to stop and change! As I said I have a 2 year old and a 9 month old so I do not have a lot of experience with pre teen boys... what are some things that I can do to redirect his actions?
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Prene89
Jul 5, 2011 @ 1:53 pm | delete
- A new talk show called The Bill Cunningham Show is looking for families/teens who are in crisis and need help. Are you a parent or guardian who needs help with their Teens? Our show wants to help parents who don't know what else to do with their teen who is spiraling out of control. We will fly you and your ...teen to NY expenses paid as well as provide treatment/after care.
If you or someone you know needs help with their teen please contact me Rene at PRENE@BILLCUNNINGHAMSHOW.COM or call me directly 718-213-6302
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TINA2000
Apr 13, 2011 @ 5:05 pm | delete
- and hes 14 years old
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TINA2000
Apr 13, 2011 @ 5:03 pm | delete
- and hes 14 years old
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TINA2000
Apr 13, 2011 @ 5:01 pm | delete
- So my kid doesn't yell or curse or run away, or hit, but he teases his 11 year old sister, lies, and hangs out with the wrong crowd, and gets bad grades, and skipps classes. I have tried taking away the cell phone for a couple days, restricted him from seeing friends outside of school and taking away the Ipod. But thats all I have left to take away. He doesnt have his own bed room, he sleeps in the living room cause our apartment is small. What do I do?
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SherylP
Feb 15, 2011 @ 5:35 pm | delete
- It might depend on my mood and just how much of his bad behavior I've dealt with on the day. I try to remain calm and talk to him and I've tried the reward charts and consequences. Sometimes when you have a child that is constantly misbehaving it can get very tiring and hard to stay calm.
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Cindy Johnson
Mar 3, 2010 @ 6:22 pm | delete
- I use behavioral charts and have rewards / consequences for them for specific behaviors. I got the charts of my child's psychologists website which is here: http://www.tampaflpsychologist.com/
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amy
Oct 24, 2011 @ 7:05 am | delete
- Hi I just read your post and I'm curious if the charts have worked
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sue dillicar
Jun 10, 2009 @ 6:20 pm | delete
- He is at an age where kids are very aware of rules and 'justice' so it is normal that he acts like the police. However, his behaviour towards you is unacceptable. Might I suggest that sending him to his room is not a good solution as children LIKE their room. A better place to send him is the toilet and tell him he can come out as soon as he apologises -properly-for his behaviour. Sounds funny, I know, but the toilet is the most boring room in the house and therefore loses its appeal quickly. Secondly, if you do it in the first instance, it interrupts the cycle before he or you gets upset. Thirdly, it provides a safe place for him to calm down. The worst thing he can do is tear up the toilet paper! (Had that happen a few times). Also, can I suggest writing up the house rules on the fridge and choosing 1-3 consequences which will apply when your kids break those rules. Consistency is very important - for your kids to be able to predict consequences- and for you to enforce.
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it doesnt matter.
May 13, 2009 @ 1:02 am | delete
- first thing that i want to tell some of ya parents is that you arent trying hard controling your kids have you heard of karate? soccer? vollyball? etc? your kid learns to behave better when theres more kids around them!! all this sports show discipline!!! also try to know your kiddo!!
1.making there own bed helps
2 .picking there plate and mess after eating or playing
3. homework and reading on time!!
4.don't scream at them!! you dont want your kid to be afraid of you!!
5. if they really drive you nuts!! counselor!! exist!
etc!!!
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JosephWilliam
Oct 16, 2008 @ 12:00 pm | delete
- Great lens on child behavior management, and taking back control of the household. Very empowering for parents to hear and learn.
http://www.childrenbehaviors.com/
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AshleyAnnRyan
Sep 14, 2008 @ 9:27 pm | delete
- Want more traffic to your lens?
I would like to FEATURE your lens in my Parenting Group! Parenting on Squidoo. I'll even create a special category just for you!
Ashley
Everything You Need to Know About Attachment Parenting.
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lynn
Sep 10, 2008 @ 8:58 am | delete
- I have three small kids...five,two,and one.They don't listen too anything I tell them.I try and try...I can cry...I don't know what too do.
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Kate_Carpenter Aug 11, 2008 @ 12:56 pm | delete
- Patti-
Oh, I feel your frustration! There are probably a hundred reasons and motivations that cause your son to act out this way. The primary one's may be a cry for attention (afterall, he is the only boy with three younger sisters). Children who crave some attention soon learn negative attention is better than NO attention, and they fall into a pattern. Plus, now he knows your 'hot buttons' to push.
This behavior didn't happen overnight and you will not be able to change that quickly. It will take time and a commitment on your part. Please check out My Out of Control Teen, even though he's not yet a teen, I believe you and he will benefit from it, so you do not have an out of control teen!
It not only offers a course, audio, videos, a parent forum and more PLUS access to the creator of the program, should you have specific questions!
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Patti
Aug 11, 2008 @ 10:22 am | delete
- I have a 10 yr old boy who tties to parent his 3 younger sisters and then when he does wrong i tell him to go to his room and all i get is no and shut up you stupid person. i really don't know what to do anymore with him. he's been on two differnt types of meds one for A.D.H.D and the other for O.D.D And i find that none of them are working. I'm ready to give him up. Please help, someone!!!!!
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Kate_Carpenter Jul 2, 2008 @ 9:26 am | delete
- Do you have discussion with her about her behavior and why she does it? "telling" her will shut her down.
I don't know what it is that she's doing "wrong", so it's hard to comment. It appears she may be trying to either get a reaction from you or simply get attention, whether it's positive or negative.
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Nic
Jul 2, 2008 @ 8:41 am | delete
- Try to sit and tell her what is wrong but most of the time she does not listen and will do again
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by Kate_Carpenter
Hello world. This is my bio. I have been in education for over 30 years and an observer of how parents and children interact with each other. It's ne... more »