Get My Man Back
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Not Knowing Allows More Exploration Than Knowing
Most of us think that not to know what is going on is somehow a failing. Certainly, this happens at school, and so as not to appear stupid we pretend or imagine we know.
This can keep an argument at a superficial level - who does the ironing? - rather than engaging in whatever is the real power battle. Acknowledging that neither knows the real reason for the conflict is an important step in resolving it.
This is particularly important if either of you is convinced you are right. A useful Linking exercise here involves sitting side by side facing the body of the relationship and saying in turns whatever you wish to, but beginning by saying: '(She/He is right, an...', even when you don't actually believe your partner is right at all.
For example, you might say: 'He is right and i think his suggestion is stupid and not going to work at all,but he won't listen to me.'
Or, 'She is right and she doesn't understand what i'm saying at all and just dismisses it.'
And so on, back and forth. It soon becomes apparent that both of you are right, and an understanding is needed that includes both positions.
This can keep an argument at a superficial level - who does the ironing? - rather than engaging in whatever is the real power battle. Acknowledging that neither knows the real reason for the conflict is an important step in resolving it.
This is particularly important if either of you is convinced you are right. A useful Linking exercise here involves sitting side by side facing the body of the relationship and saying in turns whatever you wish to, but beginning by saying: '(She/He is right, an...', even when you don't actually believe your partner is right at all.
For example, you might say: 'He is right and i think his suggestion is stupid and not going to work at all,but he won't listen to me.'
Or, 'She is right and she doesn't understand what i'm saying at all and just dismisses it.'
And so on, back and forth. It soon becomes apparent that both of you are right, and an understanding is needed that includes both positions.
by Monty_Karl_Jr
My name is Monty Karl Junior! I am a social enthusiast. Learning and understanding people is my middle name.
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