HOA Horror Stories

Do you ever wonder when those elusive inspectors come by to check on your home? Who are these Barney Fife wannabes, anyway? Are they watching us from across the street? Do your visiting friends and family think that you're a little paranoid or that you've dramatically changed from easy going and laid back to maniacal perfectionist? Perhaps you feel like a Jew living in Hitler's Nazi Germany... perpetually suspicious that the lady walking her dog down the street could be an informant!

Well, maybe it's not that bad, but many inhabitants of HOA subdivisions and/or condo developments go over a mental list of HOA violations and hold their breath for the verdict when opening their HOA statements. In fact, although my HOA has relaxed considerably since the recession, during stricter HOA days I was so sick of being caught with my weeds up, that I paid the bill in person and asked the manager when they usually come to inspect my home. "Every other Wednesday," was the answer. But, suspicious that they could sneakily switch Wednesdays on me, I set my phone to sound an alarm EVERY Tuesday, reminding me to do my own inspection before the actual inspection. So far, it has worked. But, before I was doing that, and at the risk of sounding like I'm not very good at keeping the rules, I'll confess my HOA sins. So far, I've been cited for trash cans left out a day late, brand new oil spots in the driveway, a mystery car parked in front of my house, newly sprouted Spurge (a tiny flat weed that can't be seen from the street) -- HOA-owned land nearly farms the stuff -- and trash that blew into my yard and everyone else's during a Monsoon storm on trash day. They sure don't miss a thing.

Now, I don't think that all HOA rules are unreasonable. I knew about them when I signed up, reading every page. But one has a tendency to forget after a few years, some HOA's change the rules, and other HOA's appear where none existed before. When my HOA was quite persnickety, I saved a copy of my CC&R's on my desktop so I could read them over again every once in a while. Sounds pretty paranoid, don't you think? Well, if I'm paranoid, get this... one day I drove by a house that had signs all over their very large front yard that was covered with what looked like weeds. The signs said, "HOA Inspectors: These are NOT weeds, they're wildflowers!" A friend who lives in an HOA community told me that she saw an inspector peeking over the block wall of someone's back yard, apparently searching for violations to cite. These stories are sometimes entertaining, but always disturbing to me. Sure, some people prefer HOA living because they like the idea of "perfectly manicured" landscapes and I admit that there are a few great benefits to HOA living. But those going into an HOA ruled community should be aware that they will inevitably be bit in the butt for doing so at one point or another, even if they support the HOA rules 100%. They simply don't care what you think about the rules, only that they can catch you in non-compliance and collect as many fees as possible. As for me, I can live without the exaggerated scrutiny, Deputy Fife!

How about you? How do you feel about HOA's?