Stop just surviving and start healing!
Healing from the trauma of an abusive relationship can be difficult. At times you may think that you will never be able to be the person you were before or even the person that you want to be. This is partially true; you can not go back to being the person you were before. You have been changed but you have also been made stronger along with this change. No one chooses to be abused, but you can choose to heal from abuse!
You are out of the abusive situation and now you must do everything yourself. Others just don't seem to understand that you are juggling physical needs like finding a safe place to live and work, with all the emotional effects this is having on you. Take a deep breath and relax, now keep reading....
Must have books!
Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men
This is the one main book that I would recommend to anyone who has just left an abusive relationship. Lundy Bancroft not only dispels some of the more common myths relating to why abusers are abusive he goes on to explain an abuser's beliefs and values.
Healing the Trauma of Abuse: A Woman's Workbook
This workbook offers women who have suffered sexual, physical, or emotional abuse crucial skills for coping, self-understanding, and self-care. The book is designed to be worked through from beginning to end, with self-evaluation questionnaires, writing exercises, and a variety of activities and relaxation techniques throughout. Also included are questions to ask a doctor, a personal crisis plan, and a comprehensive list of resources.
Self-Healing from Trauma Series
Work through these blocks at the rate of about one block per week. Some blocks will take you longer and some may not take a full week, remember to work through this at your own pace.
The basis of this series is what I have experienced on my own healing journey. I had to take small steps, so I started the series with what I did for myself.
- Self-Healing from Trauma Block 1
- What makes YOU feel good?
Make a list of what you are already doing each day that makes you feel good. Some examples of this could be anything from eating breakfast to taking a shower to watching your favorite show. I know for me some days are so bad I am just proud of myself for getting out of bed. No matter what you put on your list make sure it is something that makes you feel good.
After you make your list I want you to try to do a few things from that list each and every day for the next week. You may like keeping up with your list in a journal and writing your feelings each day about what you did and how you felt. Or, you may prefer to just sit quietly each evening or morning and think of your list and what you have done that has made you feel better. - Self-Healing from Trauma Block 2
- What do YOU enjoy?
Make a list of what you enjoy doing, even if you do not spend much time doing that activity, if you enjoy it then put it on your list. This may seem like the same exercise as last week but this is different. This list would include things like reading, crafting, drawing, etc. Things that you consider doing when you think of having "me" time.
Now gather a few things from this list into one place so that they are handy as you continue on in your self-healing journey. Have these things (like a good book, writing paper, your favorite craft supplies, etc) handy when doing your self-healing exercise each week. If you begin to feel over-whelmed with your exercise, then stop and pull something from the things you gathered ahead of time and spend some time just enjoying that activity.
Return to the exercise later. Either later that day or the next or the next, it doesn't matter when. Remember to work at your own pace throughout all of these exercises.
You may want to put all of the things you gather into one container and if you are the creative type you may want to decorate this as your enjoyment container.
Remember to do at least one thing that makes you feel good each day and add to that one thing you enjoy doing. Taking time to make yourself feel good and to enjoy an activity each day will put you in a better frame of mind to begin healing. Continue throughout to do one thing from each of these lists daily. - Self-healing from Trauma Block 3
- Who are you NOW?
The link above will take you to the article for this block. The exercise is at the end of the article. - Self-healing from Trauma Block 4
- What do you NEED?
This block may take you more time than the previous ones, or you may find yourself returning to work back through it; as your needs change. Please follow the link above and read the article and begin working through the exercise at your own pace. The following article will show you how to analyze your needs. - Self-healing from Trauma Block 5
- Analyzing your needs
This block is a follow up to the previous one. Please use the link above to read the article explaining the analysis process and to do the exercise. - Self-Healing from Trauma Block 6
- Relaxation Techniques
This block is fun! You get to explore different techniques for relaxing. Try some of them out and figure out what you like and then fit it into your schedule.
After all the self-work you have been doing up to this point...YOU DESERVE A BREAK!!! - Self-healing from Trauma Block 7
- What do you FEEL?
In the article for this block you will learn about your emotions and how they can help you or hinder you. - Self-Healing from Trauma Block 8
- Analyze your feelings
This is the last block of the series, however you can go through these exercises more than once to achieve your desired level of happiness, which puts you on the road to being healthier and ultimately completing your healing journey!
Stuff for Your healing Journey
Journal
The poem reads: health, truculent broken, fear replaced hope, go empower yourself, heal
Price: 10.99
Tile Coaster
The powm reads: health, truculent broken, fear replaced hope, go empower yourself, heal
Price: 5.99
Mug
The poem reads: health, truculent broken, fear replaced hope, go empower yourself, heal
Price: 11.99
Large Mug
The poem reads: health, truculent broken, fear replaced hope, go empower yourself, heal
Price: 12.99
Mousepad
The poem reads: health, truculent broken, fear replaced hope, go empower yourself, heal
Price: 11.99
Here's my favorite link:
What do you think?
I really love hearing what you think about the content of this lens. Tell me you love it tell me you hate it, either way I know if changes are needed to make this helpful for YOU, the reader!
Let me know how you are doing on your journey!
Go Empower Yourself!
AwakenYourSpirit wrote...
This information is really helpful for those who are serious about healing and really living a more joyful and peaceful life.
Thank you!
Posted October 12, 2008
