Help My Relationship

In learning how to have a better relationship, you should re-evaluate where you stand. Yes, you should evaluate the other person's behavior as a possible cause of the failing relationship, but if that is all you do, you have already lost the game. You see, many of us only want to see our side of everything. Stop and put yourself in his or her shoes and write down and answer the following question: If you were that person, would you want to be with you? If yes, why? If no, why? It is very important that while answering these questions, be completely honest.

The exercise of writing out these questions is an important one. You see, when you are truly honest, you begin to see the big picture, then you can work on whatever the answer is. If you automatically say yes to the question; I recommend you go back and really be honest.

Click here for more information about The Magic of Making Up

Guys, you are in a relationship with a beautiful girl. She's gorgeous. You are crazy about the way she looks. You love to show her off to everyone. Everyone thinks you are just too cool.

Girls, you are in a relationship with a handsome guy. He is a stud. You are crazy about the way he looks. You love to show him off to everyone. Everyone thinks you are just too cool.

What is wrong with this picture? If you are with someone just because they make you look cool, you have already lost the game. Congratulations, you are on your way to a failing relationship. The other person in your relationship is not a trophy. They are human just like you. You don't own them, you are not their better half, and you are not a better human being then they are or a more important person. If you think you are, then guess what? You have already lost the game.

Click here for more information about The Magic of Making Up

No big deal, right? I mean, hey, it's just a little white lie. People do it all the time. Why should any one care? Well, guess what? If you think this, you have already lost the game. Congratulations, you are on your way to a failing relationship. Why, you ask? Well for starters, how can anyone be in a relationship where you can't trust the other person? That is what having a relationship is all about; trust.

I don't care what your friends tell you, or anyone else for that matter; honesty is always the best policy. Think about it, isn't it nice to be able to know that when someone says they love you, they really mean it? Or if the other person goes somewhere, they are really going where they say they are?

Now I know some of you are going to say, "but you can't trust anyone these days." Just what do you base that on? Are you in a real and successful relationship? If not, I don't think I would take your word for it. I have been married for more than 20 years. I trust my wife implicitly and she trusts me as well. With that attitude, you seriously need to re-evaluate your relationship and work towards developing a trusting relationship. If you can't trust your spouse, then eventually, you will need to get out of that relationship. I am not advocating it, I am just stating the facts. It doesn't work without trust.

I trust my wife and she trusts me. When we say we are going to do something, we do it just as we said. Never underestimate the power of trust.

Click here for more information about The Magic of Making Up

Or you won't talk to them. What purpose can being silent serve when you are upset? Do you think your problems will somehow magically get solved if you don't talk when you are upset? If you think silence really is golden in your relationship, guess what? You have already lost the game. Congratulations, you are on your way to a failing relationship.

Some people are silent because they don't want to argue, but you know what, communicate anyway, even it if causes an argument. If you really love one another, you will get through it. Besides, you don't have to argue. You just have to know when to stop.

When my wife and I were in the first few years of our marriage, I would be doing my thing, whatever that was, and she would be running around the house cleaning. It used to drive me nuts. She wouldn't sit for 10 minutes. Then she started giving me the silent treatment. I didn't know why because she wasn't talking. She would stomp around the apartment cleaning this and that; I would say something to her but she would not respond.

What do you think this did? Do you link it solved our problems? Not at all! What it did was made me angry because she was ignoring me. I would try to say something and she would walk away like I wasn't there. I had no idea what was going on. If she was doing this to hurt me, guess what? It worked. But, was it constructive? No, the longer this went on, the angrier I got and apparently, the angrier she got. She was expecting me to somehow know what the problem was.

When I finally got her to talk, it turned out she was angry with me because she felt unappreciated because I was not helping her. Personally, I did not see the need to do all that cleaning in one day. We had a disconnect. After this silent treatment went on for the first few years of our marriage, I finally sat down with her and told her, "look, I love you very much, but if you don't talk to me when you are upset, I can't fix what is wrong. I can't read your mind so I don't know what you want.

If our marriage is to last at all, we need to start communicating better." It took a little time, but eventually she started opening up more to me and I to her. Now, I am happy to say after over 20 years, we communicate a lot, and I consider her my best friend and she considers likewise of me.

This was a hard lesson for both of us, but an important one. Who ever said, "Silence is Golden," could not possibly have had a very good marriage. You have to talk. Neither of you are mind readers, so you must talk. That is why God gave us that ability, so we could communicate with each other. This is one important tool that cannot be left in the tool shed.

Click here for more information about The Magic of Making Up

Have you ever had someone tell you this? If you are still trying to pursue this relation after someone tells you this, congratulations, you are on your way to a failing relationship. Usually, this is just a nice way of saying I really don't like you that way, but I don't want to hurt your feelings.

Now there are instances where the other person really is not in touch with his/her feelings and really doesn't know how they feel, but chances are, they need some kind of emotional evaluation. You have to decide at that point if it is worth pursuing. Frankly, in my humble opinion, I would let that one go. No one should be kept hanging because someone can't make up their mind. And like I said, that is probably a nice way to say, I really don't want to be with you.

Click here for more information about The Magic of Making Up

How often do we hear our children say things like that? Well, unfortunately, it is not only children who has that attitude. Ok men, you come home from work and you see a big mess. Your wife has been taking care of the kids all day. You are tired, but you don't think she is right? After all, she has only been watching the kids. What's so hard about that?

Really, you have to ask? If so, congratulations, you are well on your way to failing relationship. Have you even taken care of babies, toddlers, older children, or even teenagers? If not, it might surprise you to know that your wife can be just as tired as you. Yes, you may have gone to work. Perhaps you work in construction or some other physically demanding job, but guess what, watching children while cleaning the house and cooking and doing laundry,etc. can be very exhaustive.

If you don't think so, you let your wife go to a spa or something where she can relax and you take care of the kids, prepare meals, do laundry, clean house, etc. See how you feel when she finally comes home. Perhaps you will appreciate her more. If not then I don't know what she sees in your. Love is a partnership. See my other headings above. It is not about you or your spouse, you are both in it together.

You have children together, you share the responsibilities together. Give your spouse a break once in a while. Wives can do something special for their husbands and husbands can relieve the burdens on their wives. Soon you will find you have a blossoming relationship that will keep you for the rest of your lives.