Help! What Can I Do To Save My Relationship?
Hi, this lens is all about you and helping you save your relationship. Now, before we begin, it is important to know that not all relationships are worth saving, such as where abuse or habitual cheating is involved. However; I truly believe we should try our hardest to make a relationship work.
With that said, lets get started...
New Table of Contents
Who's Fault Is It Anyway?
If you are in a failing relationship, you should re-evaluate where you stand. Yes, you should evaluate the other person's behavior as a possible cause of the failing relationship, but if that is all you do, you have already lost the game. You see, many of us only want to see our side of everything only. Stop and put yourself in his or her shoes. If you were that person, would you want to be with you? If yes, why? If no, why? The important thing about answering these questions is being honest with yourself.
Click here to learn how to stop the pain now!
I know there are those who think they do no wrong and the blame lies solely on the other person. Well, here is a reality check, nine times out of ten; both parties are to blame for the failing relationship. The following paragraphs contain some points to stop and think about.
Click here to learn how to stop the pain now!
I know there are those who think they do no wrong and the blame lies solely on the other person. Well, here is a reality check, nine times out of ten; both parties are to blame for the failing relationship. The following paragraphs contain some points to stop and think about.
He Or She Is Not A Trophy!
Guys, you are in a relationship with a beautiful girl. She's gorgeous. You are crazy about the way she looks. You love to show her off to everyone. Everyone thinks you are just too cool.
Girls, you are in a relationship with a handsome guy. He is a stud. You are crazy about the way he looks. You love to show him off to everyone. Everyone thinks you are just too cool.
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What is wrong with this picture? If you are with someone just because they make you look cool, you have already lost the game. Congratulations, you are on your way to a failing relationship. The other person in your relationship is not a trophy. They are human just like you. You don't own them, you are not their better half, and you are not a better human being then they are or a more important person. If you think you are, then guess what? You have already lost the game.
Girls, you are in a relationship with a handsome guy. He is a stud. You are crazy about the way he looks. You love to show him off to everyone. Everyone thinks you are just too cool.
Click here to learn how to stop the pain now!
What is wrong with this picture? If you are with someone just because they make you look cool, you have already lost the game. Congratulations, you are on your way to a failing relationship. The other person in your relationship is not a trophy. They are human just like you. You don't own them, you are not their better half, and you are not a better human being then they are or a more important person. If you think you are, then guess what? You have already lost the game.
You Were caught In A Lie
No big deal, right? I mean, hey, it's just a little white lie. People do it all the time. Why should any one care? Well, guess what? If you think this, you have already lost the game. Congratulations, you are on your way to a failing relationship. Why, you ask? Well for starters, how can anyone be in a relationship where you can't trust the other person? That is what having a relationship is all about; trust.
Click here to learn how to stop the pain now!
I don't care what your friends tell you, or anyone else for that matter; honesty is always the best policy. Think about it, isn't it nice to be able to know that when someone says they love, the really mean it? Or if the other person goes somewhere, they are really going where they say they are?
Now I know some of you are going to say, "but you can't trust anyone these days." Just what do you base that on? Are you in a real and successful relationship? If not, I don't think I would take your word for it. I have been married for more than 20 years.
I trust my wife and she trusts me. When we say we are going to do something, we do it just as we said. Never underestimate the power of trust.
Click here to learn how to stop the pain now!
I don't care what your friends tell you, or anyone else for that matter; honesty is always the best policy. Think about it, isn't it nice to be able to know that when someone says they love, the really mean it? Or if the other person goes somewhere, they are really going where they say they are?
Now I know some of you are going to say, "but you can't trust anyone these days." Just what do you base that on? Are you in a real and successful relationship? If not, I don't think I would take your word for it. I have been married for more than 20 years.
I trust my wife and she trusts me. When we say we are going to do something, we do it just as we said. Never underestimate the power of trust.
Your Partner Won't Talk To You-
Or you won't talk to them. What purpose can being silent when you are upset, possibly serve? Do you think your problems will somehow magically get solved if you don't talk when you are upset? If you think silence is bliss, guess what?
You have already lost the game. Congratulations, you are on your way to a failing relationship. Some people are silent because they don't want to argue, but you know what, communicate anyway, even it if causes an argument. If you really love one another, you will get through it.
Click here to learn how to stop the pain now!
When my wife and I were in the first few years of our marriage, I would be doing my thing, whatever that was, and she would be running around the house cleaning. It used to drive me nuts. She wouldn't sit for 10 minutes. Then she started giving me the silent treatment. I didn't know why because she wasn't talking. She would stomp around the apartment cleaning this and that; I would say something to her but she would not respond.
What do you think this did? Do you link it solved our problems? Not at all! What it did was made me angry because she was ignoring me. I would try to say something and she would walk away like I wasn't there. I had no idea what was going on. If she was doing this to hurt me, guess what? It worked. But, was it constructive? No, the longer this went on, the angrier I got and apparently, the angrier she got. She was expecting me to somehow know what the problem was.
When I finally got her to talk, it turned out she was angry with me because she felt unappreciated because I was not helping her. Personally, I did not see the need to do all that cleaning in one day. We had a disconnect. After this silent treatment went on for the first few years of our marriage, I finally sat down with her and told her, "look, I love you very much, but if you don't talk to me when you are upset, I can't fix what is wrong. I can't read your mind so I don't know what you want.
Click here to learn how to stop the pain now!
If our marriage is to last at all, we need to start communicating better." It took a little time, but eventually she started opening up more to me and I to her. Now, I am happy to say after over 20 years, we communicate a lot, and I consider her my best friend and she considers likewise of me.
This was a hard lesson for both of us, but an important one. Who ever said, "Silence is Golden," could not possibly have had a very good marriage. You have to talk. Neither of you are mind readers, so you must talk. That is why God gave us that ability, so we could communicate with each other. This is one important tool that cannot be left in the tool shed.
You have already lost the game. Congratulations, you are on your way to a failing relationship. Some people are silent because they don't want to argue, but you know what, communicate anyway, even it if causes an argument. If you really love one another, you will get through it.
Click here to learn how to stop the pain now!
When my wife and I were in the first few years of our marriage, I would be doing my thing, whatever that was, and she would be running around the house cleaning. It used to drive me nuts. She wouldn't sit for 10 minutes. Then she started giving me the silent treatment. I didn't know why because she wasn't talking. She would stomp around the apartment cleaning this and that; I would say something to her but she would not respond.
What do you think this did? Do you link it solved our problems? Not at all! What it did was made me angry because she was ignoring me. I would try to say something and she would walk away like I wasn't there. I had no idea what was going on. If she was doing this to hurt me, guess what? It worked. But, was it constructive? No, the longer this went on, the angrier I got and apparently, the angrier she got. She was expecting me to somehow know what the problem was.
When I finally got her to talk, it turned out she was angry with me because she felt unappreciated because I was not helping her. Personally, I did not see the need to do all that cleaning in one day. We had a disconnect. After this silent treatment went on for the first few years of our marriage, I finally sat down with her and told her, "look, I love you very much, but if you don't talk to me when you are upset, I can't fix what is wrong. I can't read your mind so I don't know what you want.
Click here to learn how to stop the pain now!
If our marriage is to last at all, we need to start communicating better." It took a little time, but eventually she started opening up more to me and I to her. Now, I am happy to say after over 20 years, we communicate a lot, and I consider her my best friend and she considers likewise of me.
This was a hard lesson for both of us, but an important one. Who ever said, "Silence is Golden," could not possibly have had a very good marriage. You have to talk. Neither of you are mind readers, so you must talk. That is why God gave us that ability, so we could communicate with each other. This is one important tool that cannot be left in the tool shed.
I Don't Know How I Feel About You
Have you ever had someone tell you this? If you are still trying to pursue this relation after someone tells you this, congratulations, you are on your way to a failing relationship. Usually, this is just a nice way of saying I really don't like you that way, but I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Now there are instances where the other person really is not in touch with his/her feelings and really doesn't know how they feel. You have to decide at that point if it is worth pursuing. Frankly, in my humble opinion, I would let that one go.
Click here to learn how to stop the pain now!
In this article, I have tried to give some tips on what helped me avoid a failing relationship. There is much more, but I think these are some of the common issues couples tend to face. It is important to remember that just as it takes two to tango, it takes two to make a good relationship. I wish you well in your future relationships.
If you would like more information, please visit the following site. You will learn much more about how to fix a failing relationship.
Now there are instances where the other person really is not in touch with his/her feelings and really doesn't know how they feel. You have to decide at that point if it is worth pursuing. Frankly, in my humble opinion, I would let that one go.
Click here to learn how to stop the pain now!
In this article, I have tried to give some tips on what helped me avoid a failing relationship. There is much more, but I think these are some of the common issues couples tend to face. It is important to remember that just as it takes two to tango, it takes two to make a good relationship. I wish you well in your future relationships.
If you would like more information, please visit the following site. You will learn much more about how to fix a failing relationship.
