How To Help Shy People Deal With Their Shyness

If you know anyone who suffers from this affliction, you certainly know how frustrating and painful it can be to help them "overcome" this ordeal.

Shy people generally feel very uncomfortable around strangers and in unfamiliar situations. Some don't like to draw any attention, so they avoid eye contact when they're in sittings where strangers are involved, because to them eye contact can be an invitation for some kind of verbal engagement.

Others even behave awkwardly and clumsily under certain circumstances, especially when it comes to dating. In more severe cases, some shy people become reclusive: the outside world is so frightening to them, they rather stay home.

In severe cases like Social Anxiety and Social Phobia, therapy, counselling, and medication are required to help them deal with the debilitating disorder.

It's very sad to see how fear controls their lives so strongly, it's impossible to convince them that 'there is a friendly world out there.' Because their fears are real to them, through their eyes that outside world is not as friendly as you make it out to be.

There are different degrees of shyness and each shy person is unique.

The lesser shy can "feign" friendliness and are somehow able to hide their fears and nervousness assuming a different disposition. If they happen to bump into someone who enjoys the same topics they are already familiar with, they can have some long and deep conversations. [Of course that only works if the other person initiates the conversation.... :o) ]

Then there are their opposites who are so sociophobic, they'll avoid you like the plague.

Some shy ones may appear to be lazy, but actually they aren't. They are very likely going through an inner battle that causes them to be indecisive to what they should do next.

On the other hand, most shy people do have some seriously strong characteristics that qualify them highly for becoming extremely powerful Entrepreneurs in the business world, network marketing world and even the entertainment world.

Shy people are in good company.

For instance, look at some shy celebrities, many of whom yet having to overcome the clumsiness when it comes to facing the unfamiliar which could be as simple as the pressure of an interview. (You'd think a seasoned actor would be familiar with interviews. Think again...)

Brat Pitt, Carrie Underwood, Cher, Jim Carrey, Julia Roberts, Kevin Costner, are only few of the many shy celebrities.

So, you see; given the right conditions, some shy people may become very successful. Putting their gifts and talents to work for them they will not just outperform the rest of us: they will quietly take a lead in the industry.

Bill Gates comes to mind.

I'll tell you one little unknown but very painful secret about shy people:

Shy people are living in a constant inner struggle. It's a struggle that gets more intense, the more you try to "help them to get over their shyness". The more you try, the more they want to run and shut down and be left alone. The harder you try, the more you convince them "YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND."

They're very (extremely!) self-conscious and don't know how to open doors to new relationships, which, ironically, they are craving for. Deep inside, all they want is to be accepted just the way they are.

Like we all do, right?

Yet, by the same token, they so wish they could overcome their shyness and secretly wish someone out there could help them deal with it...

Can you now see their inner conflict?

And are you beginning to sense how painfully frustrating this could be to them?

Here are a few more things about shyness:

For some people, shyness comes on like a switch being flicked on in their minds and makes them feel vulnerable. They suddenly get a strange sense of loneliness, especially in unfamiliar groupings.

Others are chronically shy.

Being extremely sensitive and self-conscious, they learn at an early age how to avoid the emotional pain that is caused by criticism. Their self-consciousness turns against them when they stop sharing their inner fears, out of the fear of being ridiculed and start to exaggerate simple challenges into huge unbearable obstacles.

One of the biggest misconceptions many still have about shy people is that they hardly talk and that they are always shy. But that's not the case. When with the right person(s), they can talk up a storm. Heck, they may even get so comfortable, they become gabby-guts without experiencing a bit of shyness. (Until, of course, a stranger enters the scene...)

Shy people tend to be very imaginative, but also extremely self-conscious. It almost comes natural to them to imagine that people are looking at them funny, talking about them, think negatively about them, and so on. Each shy person has a unique combination of fears that sort of hold them back from blending in with society. Different shy folks, different shy strokes.

The best thing you can do to help them be more comfortable with themselves is to be understanding of them. Understand that their fears are real to them. Acknowledge their feelings: don't make them wrong. Understand they have no skills to control of their disposition; if they had, they wouldn't be going through the torture that shyness brings.

Be compassionate with them. In my opinion, compassion is the most valuable gift you can offer to... anyone, really. But especially your shy friends, or kids, shy siblings... Heck, anyone you know to be shy, will greatly appreciate your compassion and understanding of them. It will make them feel more comfortable around you. And as you do just these two things for them, you are offering them the most powerful therapy anyone can give them.

And suddenly you will discover a side of them - their sincerity, their insights, their deeper thoughts, their views about this world and how it can be made a more peaceful place, and most of all: their vulnerability - that will blow you away.