What it is to be a HSP

I've always been interested in psychology and how the mind works. My main interests lie in what can go wrong and why people and animals may behave in a certain way. One of my greatest passions is serial killers; the why's and wherefore's, the how's etc. So, when I first came across the terminology, Highly Sensitive Person, I had to read up about it.

It didn't take long for me to figure out that what it described was me to a tee!

Could I be a Highly Sensitive Person?

I have never been officially diagnosed as that though I've been diagnosed with other less than complimentary conditions by others including my own family. But, to me, it all made sense about why I behaved in a given way as a child and as an adult, why I reacted so violently to loud, sudden noises like balloons popping for example and why my body seems to be unable to handle even the slightest discrepancy in nutrition or PH levels.

So, this is what this lens is all about; not just about me and how this condition can affect me but whether it can help others, too maybe make the same connection between them and this particular personality trait.

These are the physical symptoms I have that could be related to being a HSP. To, me, they indicate a very sensitive body that doesn't tolerate any changes in the normal balance of skin PH, bacteria, viruses, fungus etc:

Eczema in the ears, skin and genitals
Seborrheic dermatitis on the scalp
Pernicious Anaemia
Depression
Unusual rashes
Unusual bruising
Food tolerances, for instance, intolerance to caffeine and wheat.
Light sensitivity.

These are the psychological symptoms I have that could be related to being a HSP:

Intolerance to loud noises.
Startle easily.
Exhausted by emotions
Avoids stressful situations
The need to escape when there is too much going on around me.
Labeled as shy and sensitive by other people.
Need time alone, a lot!
Feelings easily bruised.
Vivid imagination.

I have to admit to feeling a huge amount of frustration whilst living as an HSP.

Time and time again, I come up against problems relating to other people and communicating with them adequately.

It's often shown that my thought processes are different and this creates problems with how I perceive situations and how I ultimately react to them.

Unfortunately, because of a idiosyncrasy that I have (amongst others!) I am unable to recall specific situations where this may occur. I think, one exercise for me would be to write these situations down on paper when and as it happens.

Often, whilst in discussions with my partner, he will state that how he communicates with friends and family, he is unable to use with me. Or, if he does, he is frustrated and confused by how I may see something that turns out to be completely different to everyone else.

In my experience this causes an awful lot of tension, distress and arguments for both of us whilst we work through untangling the mess.

So, I often have to admit to feeling extremely unhappy with being this way and wanting so much to be well liked and accepted by so many people, which is something I don't feel occurs at this time.

Sensitive Green Art Print
Buy at AllPosters.com

I found out very early on in my life that living as the child I was (and still am) wasn't going to be at all easy. There was no help forthcoming for me. My moods and personality didn't allow for continual teasing which I had to endure. As a consequence, my self-esteem and confidence took a huge knock, which until this day, has yet to recover.

My parents had little or no knowledge of what an HSP was or is let alone how to deal with it, so I felt very much alone and isolated throughout much of my childhood.

Life as an adult wasn't much better, however, as still that lack of understanding for the personality trait continued. There seemed to be no interest in finding out about why I was like I was, why I behaved a certain way and who I was. It wasn't until I came across the term myself via the Internet that things began to make sense.

As an HSP, I will continue to learn about myself and how I work, probably right up until the day I die. Life living with me as a person isn't easy for anyone especially those who know nothing about the personality trait. All I can do is try to explain each and every time how I feel, why I feel that way and what is the best way to deal with it.

Here's my advice:

- Read up as much as you can about the HSP.
- Encourage close friends, lovers, family to read up about the HSP.
- Communicate all the time to those who matter to you.
- Don't despair or give up.
- Don't allow yourself to become discouraged by other people's views of you.
- Write down your feelings, thoughts, views and emotions. It does help. You don't even have to be a writer to do so.

No easy task, you might say.

No, it isn't.

For me or for my close friends and lovers. But, it's who I am :)