HOW I RECOVERED FROM A BROKEN HEART - A Personal Story...
"I was grew up in a small midwest town & was a bullied child. I was that girl with the cooties..."
THE HISTORY TO MY BROKEN HEART - & The Early Pain's I Never Resolved...
I grew up in a small midwest town and was a bullied child. I was that girl with the "cooties" you didn't want to sit next to. Much of my childhood is filled with memories of sitting alone in the lunchroom, getting picked last in P.E. and crying silently in the bathroom for fear my tormentors would discover me and rip me a new one. Whether the abuse was physical, or verbal, I always managed to keep a straight face and "take it like a man". I shoved the pain away and locked it down so far deep within me I could almost forgot it was there. - I attribute the origins of my pain body to those early experiences.
- I set the patterns in place very early for the development, creation, and perpetuation, of a huge pain body.
- For much of my life the unresolved lifetime of hurt I carried witin me has run the show.
Youtube Videos Providing A Visual Depiction of The History Behind My Hurt
Welcome to the Dollhouse opening scene
welcome to the dollhouse - toilets scene
Bullied to death: They committed suicide because of bullying
Welcome to the Dollhouse
Welcome To The Dollhouse- I'm Gonna Rape You
"Leaving for college was a stellar day in my life. I believed it was the answer to my problems."
I TRIED RUNNING AWAY FROM THE PAIN - & Only Created More
Leaving for college was a stellar day in my life. At the time, I believed this was the answer to my problems. As I saw it at the time, the problem and cause of my pain, were those bullies and all the classmates who couldn't accept me. The solution as I saw it was to remove them from the picture. Interestingly, as you might guess, it wasn't that simple. Things didn't go as I would have hoped.Instead, I immediately hooked up with my first serious boyfriend. We dated for 4 years in college. He was abusive, emotionally unavailable, and unfaithful throughout our relationship together.
- I put up with everything he threw my way because I didn't feel I could do any better.
- I sat back puzzled as to why I was getting more of the same treatment.
- "What did I do to deserve this?" I would ask myself.
I couldn't understand how I managed to hook up with the one guy who treated me just as badly - or worse - than all my childhood bullies combined
The importance of learning to recover form a broken heart
The Missing Piece Meets the Big O
The Missing Piece Meets the Big O by Shel Silverstein
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I BEGAN SEEING THE BIGGER PICTURE IN THE AFTERMATH OF THE BREAKUP -
It wasn't until I left the relationship and began to reflect upon those experiences that I developed some understanding of my role in things. With the benefit of 20-20 hindsight, I believe all these experiences were my creation - the result of choices made by me.
- It started when I was young, and chose to not stand up for myself and take everything "to heart".
- I was the one who spent her life, putting others' opinions of me before my own.
- I was the one who chose not to stand up for herself and realize her own worth.
- I was the one who chose to suppress her pain.
Despite how justified I felt I may have been in attributing my pain to others wrong-doings, its clear no one forced me to make these decisions.
How do you recover from a broken heart?
How I Created My Pain Body - "and gave past hurts a home within me"
As I delved deeper in my past I discovered a a huge grudge for all the "wrong doing" and hurt caused by all my bullies. - I allowed their taunts to affect my self esteem and become the basis of how I saw myself.
- I chose to bear a grudge and declaring my pain as proof the victim status was my undoing.
- I gave my pain an home and carried it with me into the relationship.
- I enabled it to accumulate and take up permanent residence.
- Over time, it grew stronger and started to run the show.
It was in all these ways I incorporated it into part of my very being and attached my very self to it. It controlled my thinking, perceptions, and actions. With that abusive relationship came this realization. I had to finally admit, despite how justified I may have felt I was in pointing to others as responsible for my pain, I was ultimately its cause. Yes my ex did hurt me, but I stayed and let him.
"I gave my pain a home and carried it within me. I enabled it to accumulate and take up residence."
I accepted responsibility with the realization of my role as the creator of any ongoing heartache in my life
I ultimately became attached to and came to identify with my pain body as an integral part of my being. These are my assertions regarding my pain body and my role as its creator:
- The reason I was never able to successfully run away from my pain was because I carried it within me as an unresolved hurt I didn't want to face. Contrary to what I had believed, pain wasn't something other people caused me. Heartbreak was something that popped up repeatedly in my relationships simply because I chose to identify with it (as proof of why I was the victim.
- I created my own pain with my chosen sense of self. Everything I had experienced was a mere reflection of that.After all, that crappy self image is ultimately responsible for my decision to stay in an emotionally abusive relationship for four years.
- I perpetuated my pain when I decided to blame others for it.I spent so much time justifying my victim story and holding a grudge I couldn't see past my pain. As a result, I blinded myself to the fact that it remained in my life only because I was holding onto it. It wasn't until I understood this that a solution to healing my hurt began to present itself.
Steps to Recover From A Broken Heart
I Create Joy - The Art of Emotional Transformation
I Create Joy - The Art of Emotional Transformation: How You Can Transform Painful Emotions into Joy with this Simple Eight Step Recipe! Creating Joy is what we all really want in life.
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"I blinded myself to the fact that the hurt remained in my life only because I was holdiing onto it."
Concluding Remarkes On "How I Recovered From A Broken Heart"
On the basis of my own personal experiences, I assert to you, again the very same things I said at the beginning of this article:
I believe the key to recover from a broken heart is to claim responsibility for your emotional state. With this, comes an understanding of how you perpetuate your pain and allow the heartbreak to continually linger. Until you understand how you've identified with your pain and become attached to it, you'll be stuck in a world of hurt.
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Whether You're Trying To Attract Your Ex Back Or Let Go - Healing Is Your Priority!
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